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Music Inspiration Oct 18, 2015

Posted on October 18, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 18 of 100 days of blogging

Music Inspires me and it is a clue to my inner world. The songs I want to play over and over. I feel the music in my body and soul and it leads me to transform with the energy in the song. The songs are playing in my mind and pulsing through my body. I take a walk every day and feel the new me that is emerging.

My theme songs this week are:

I’m a Grown Woman by Beyonce

Confident by Demi Lovato

*****

I made a few decisions in the last few weeks to follow more of my life desires in work and my personal life. It started on my 59th Birthday. I took the day for myself in New York City instead of spending it with my daughter and granddaughter. I was there for a week with them and I wanted the day for me. To explore. To connect with adults. New and old friends. I feel this incredible freedom to be me and to embrace my grown woman self. To do what I want to because I can!

*****

Beyonce singing, “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want,”

After spending three days posting in The New Masculine Community on Facebook, I feel an incredible power pulsing through me. My voice is so grounded and clear and powerful. My Power. Not power over the men and women in the group. Power to listen, feel and speak. My Voice. And then I heard this song.

What song is giving you a clue about your life right now? A music inspiration!

Post in the comments and tell us why.

******

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen, Music Inspiration

Building Community: Learning from the Masculine and Feminine

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 17 of 100 days of blogging

A few weeks ago, a female friend invited me to a group called The New Masculine Community. When I first saw the words, I wondered why she was inviting me to a men’s group. I am a woman and I work mainly with women in my organization, Heal My Voice.

The description in the group:

This group is for education, discussion and debate. It originally was formed to support a men’s program by Zat Baraka, Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell called the Razor’s Edge that was run in Winter 2015.

Please note:
Masculine does not necessarily mean man.
Feminine does not necessarily mean woman.

This page is for ALL genders and ALL sexual orientations to discuss the topics of masculine and feminine nature in today’s ever-changing world. To help breakdown the bullshit conventions that run us, which haven’t worked in a very long time.

We are a community of people who want to learn more about how we tick and how others. We are here to share ideas and concepts. You might not like everything that you read. However, we hope that it influences you enough to notice your programming.

Having spent the last three years in what appears to be a female-centric practice (Orgasmic Meditation) and being committed to living in community and practicing with men, I decided to hang out in the group and read some of the comments. (I also really admire and appreciate the work of Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell who originally started the group and I know there is a team of women and men monitoring the posts.)

This week, one of the women in the group posted an article about Bradley Cooper (an actor) supporting Jennifer Lawrence (an actress) in her article about the Hollywood Pay Gap. Cooper has been teaming up with female stars to negotiate salaries before film production starts. “I don’t know where it’s changing otherwise but that’s something that I could do,” Cooper said.

http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/10/15/bradley-cooper-is-on-board-with-jennifer-lawrences-takedown-of-the-hollywood-pay-gap/

I feel like that is the point. If we see something in the world that is wrong, we can do our part. Do something. Support someone. Teach a woman or man how to negotiate a salary. Look around and see where you can offer your unique talents and skills. It begins with each of us making that choice individually.

I made a choice in my life 30 years ago to live in community where every person is supported and encouraged to be the fullest expression of who they really are. (By community, I mean finding like minded people who wanted to do the same thing. We all lived in our own family homes all over the city)

We were all committed to heal the wounds of what we were taught are the roles of feminine and masculine. I made a choice to look at my own actions and behavior first, decide where I needed changes. I left a marriage because in that verbal and sexual abusive environment, I was not being the role model I came to be for my two little girls. I made the choice to leave and start unraveling generations of patterning about submissive women.

When I first read the article, I wrote the first comment and highlighted words Cooper spoke about seeing a problem and doing his part to make it right. He isn’t trying to change the whole world by himself, just making a change where he had power. I invite you to let go of the amount of money they are making. That is a distraction from the bigger picture. This is an example of “In my world, I can change this.”

After the death of our son and my own life threatening illness my 2nd husband and I decided to homeschool our children to provide an environment where they had more self-expression and freedom to be themselves. We connected with 1000 families in the Baltimore~DC area. Pooled resources, offered our unique talents and skills, daily interaction and field trips. Stroked out the best of each kid. Male or female. Gave them the freedom to find out who they are. Then, it was up to each child to make their own choices. We laid the foundation.

Instead of talking about a bunch of theory about what is the new masculine and what is feminine leadership, how about each of us taking a look at where we can support someone to be the best they can be instead of using humor or criticism to diminish them. Ask yourself, how can I be the best version of a man? How can I be the best version of a woman? How can I integrate masculine and feminine characteristics of creativity, intuition, action, strength into my life? Feel. Think. Open your eyes and look around.

The commitment to your own growth doesn’t end until you die. I imagine that every person reading this blogpost has a desire, a longing for better communication with others and deep down wants to peel away the facade of who you thought you were supposed to be. And underneath, there is another part of you that wants to be seen and felt and heard.

You don’t have to do everything. Do something. Do your part.

We are all in this together.

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen

Living in Flow: Tuning In

Posted on October 15, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 15 of 100 days of Blogging

Los Angeles. March 2014.

I had been living in a community house for 10 months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and my bedroom in the garage apartment. I wanted to live there forever.

One day I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicated with me. I stopped and asked the question, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer.

An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, down my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week. When I didn’t receive any other “signs” or “messages”, I decided to take some action by going through my 10 x 10 storage unit and everything in my apartment space.

Over the next six weeks, I lived my life and in between daily work and play, I reviewed every piece of paper and every thing I owned. At the end of the six weeks, I gave away 14 boxes of personal belongings and 6 bags of clothes.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. There were numerous conversations as a household and with individuals who felt aligned for the next living space. The ten of us finally dispersed to move into three different places in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. To have conversations, to live life, to finish incomplete projects and to collect ideas, wisdom, for the next step.

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, and fear in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in another adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice to expand my business and to discover the next steps. I was open to where I would be led to learn and discover new things about myself and about the world. I needed time to integrate all of the changes over the last nine years and to be ready for the next steps. At each location, I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone, to be in the present moment, to listen and learn and speak when inspired.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend Lucky Sweeny and the possibility of staying with her for 5 days in Santa Barbara. I knew I had a class in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me spontaneously and I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how perfect the timing was. The rest of the month she would be busy or out of town.

During the next week, I began to have feelings and a sense of inner knowing about the general location.

June: Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, San Franciscoo

July: East Coast

August: Sweden

September: East Coast

October-December: West Coast

I made a few calls. Stated my feelings and desire. Received invitations with open arms and enthusiasm and packed my bags.

On June 1, 2014 I stood outside of my community house at 6am, taking a moment of gratitude and then climbed into my daughter’s car for a ride to the train station in Burbank. And so began a year of living in flow on the road…

*****

Posted in adventure, An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Orgasmic Meditation: Exploring our Bodies

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 13 of 100 days of blogging

In college, I studied Human Sexuality as part of my Social Work degree from Temple University. Reading the book, “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” written by the Boston Women’s Health Collective was the first time I can remember hearing the voices of women sharing their experiences with vulnerability and information about a woman’s body. One evening, I sat in a woman’s circle where every woman was handed a plastic speculum, a mirror, a flashlight and lubrication. We were taught how to do the breast exam and pelvic exam on ourselves. All of the women took off their pants and underwear, lay down on blankets and pillows and prepared to follow the step-by-step instructions to touch and examine our own bodies. I remember the exclamations of awe and joy and tears when a woman saw her cervix for the first time. Women empowering women in a circle gathering. That was 1978 and I was 22 years old.

During the late 90’s, I taught medical students at Johns Hopkins University how to do the pelvic and breast exam, first with words and instructions. Then I gave each of them a hands-on-experience, using my body as a practice patient. Dressed in a hospital gown, I taught them how to hold and use the speculum, guiding their hands to insert the speculum into my vagina with me as their first patient. I talked about the importance of creating a safe environment and using a gentle touch to preserve each woman’s dignity. In five years of teaching, I had over 500 pelvic and breast exams with 500 different medical students.

In 2013, I entered a new experience with my body when I was introduced to a 15 minute partnered practice called Orgasmic Meditation (OM). In this partnered practice with a man, I experienced the potential for us to heal our sexuality through better communication, attention and connection. No goal. 15 minutes of connection, sensation and the awakening of desire. I practiced OM with multiple partners in a safe community environment and learned how to teach the technique by taking courses with a company called OneTaste. I have now taught individuals and partners around the world how to practice Orgasmic Meditation.

My deepest desire has been for women to have a place to connect, have conversations, share vulnerability and support each other; to heal their relationship with their bodies and with each other. In the ninth Heal My Voice book program, I finally had my wish. For nine months, twelve women from Sweden; eight women from the United States with Marie Ek Lipanovska from Sweden and me from the U.S. co-facilitating an on-line gathering in a secret Facebook group. We stoked the emotional fires to stir up the burning embers of desire, connection and sensuality hidden within our souls. In conversation and writing, we explored universal experiences of a woman’s body. Menstruation. Childbirth. Menopause. Sexual Desire. We discussed body sensations of sensuality, power, grief, abandonment, trauma, life and death with courage and vulnerability. Our experiences included writing and speaking, healing, reclaiming power tied up in an old story, connection with community, intentional space, deep listening and at the end of the process, clarity around the next step in leadership.

You must do the things you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When we started to write, I thought I was ready, really ready, to reveal my story: a journey of sexual exploration. It wasn’t until I began to write this personal story that I felt a new vulnerability and resistance to writing and exposing my story even to myself. I found my hands hovering over the computer keyboard afraid to write anything. I had a flood of fearful thoughts: Can I really tell this story? How will it affect my business? Will my organization, Heal My Voice, lose all credibility if I write a sensual story about desire and sex? Can I really write about looking at Playboy magazines when I was 11 years old? Can I write about the desire to have sex now that I am 58 years old and a widow, a mother, a grandmother? Can I write about the sensuality essence that is waking up in me? I had to walk my own path by diving into the places in me that held the darkness of shame and fear around my sexual desire and to write my own story.

This was the ninth personal story I had written in a Heal My Voice or Heal My Voice Sweden book program and it was the first time I was afraid to put my words onto paper even in the privacy of my home with no one watching. That was a clue that I am not the only woman who feels vulnerable to admit my desires, embrace the sensations and to have open conversations. I knew I had to write a story about Sensuality that connected to my Sexuality and to make the conversation visible.

It was the women in this community of co-authors who read the drafts of my story, who acknowledged my courage and who told me to just write the story without the need for approval and without justifying why I felt the need to write it now. Each woman was held with the same love, care and encouragement. And as each woman completed her story, it opened the door for the next woman to keep writing and complete her story. We held each other, shared our voices, one word at a time, until twenty stories were completed. We are in this together…

As part of my 1500 word story for the book Sensual Voices, I wrote about my 28th OM (Orgasmic Meditation). I shared the sensations, the healing, the emotion that was released and the connection with my OM partner. Tomorrow, I will share that experience with you in the next blogpost.

The journey continues…

*****

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen, Heal My Voice, Orgasmic Meditation

The Power of Aging: Preparing for the Next Decade

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 9 of 100 days of blogging

New York City

October 9, 2015

I had a great birthday yesterday. I mean, really great! Connecting with myself, with people and all on my own terms. I was going to go to a museum in New York City and then the coffee shop in the East Village felt so good and my words were flowing; I stayed in the moment and kept writing. The day ended at a Community Potluck with the surprise of cupcakes and the Happy Birthday song!

Leading up to this birthday was not fun. It actually felt pretty scary and I had a lot of feelings and fears and confusion in the last year. In the past, I have embraced every decade. Turning 40 and 50 was exciting. I have always felt like things were getting better and there was an adventure around every corner. Until this year…

The fears were about turning 60 next year and a fear of dying. My husband, my best girlfriend and a friend’s husband all died at 60. I have had a lot of stories about this new fear. I have let myself the feelings fully and stirred them around to get to the root. The fear is not about the actual dying. I feel like it will be cool to be in another dimension of time. I believe that life goes on. And if for some reason it doesn’t, I have lived a good life and I will return to dust.

The fear is that I will not finish what I came here to do. That I will not finish the journey of becoming the woman I want to become. To leave a new type of role model for my daughters and my granddaughter and the generations of women to come after me. To leave a legacy. I left my first husband after realizing that I was not being the woman I wanted to be for my daughters. That desire has led me to be a warrior with my personal growth. Thirty years of learning and growing and making different choices. Inside of me I have another 49 years of ideas to implement and there are a few more hurdles I want to transmute and alchemize into gold before I leave.

My 59th birthday yesterday was a turning point. A willingness to transform the fears and live fully right now. When my husband turned 59, he already had an aversion to turning “60”. I told him, why don’t we celebrate every month and ring in the next decade?

This week, I decided to take my own advice. I spent the day ringing in the next decade. Everywhere I went, I told people it was my birthday. I received all of the birthday blessings. I spent time alone and I spent time in a community where I can bring all of me.

I am making a note on the calendar each month to spend a day celebrating my life. (In addition to the celebration of every breath) The power is in the simplicity. Celebrate. Be in the present moment. The idea is to pause and do something on that day that fills me up. Welcome in the next frontier. The decade of 60.

It is not the end. It is the beginning.

I am surrendering to life in a deeper way. Every experience has prepared me for this time. In my heart, I feel like I am just getting started. There is a power in aging.

And so it is!

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen

Living in Flow: Courage to Listen

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 7 of 100 days of blogging

When I first wrote the draft for this blogpost, I was at a crossroads. I had been living in youth hostels and extended stay hotels with my youngest daughter while we explored living in California. I didn’t know if we would stay there or if we would return to Maryland and the community I had known for 28 years. This experience is an example of living in the void, between worlds, where one thing was ending and the new beginning was around the corner. I just couldn’t see it yet.

In the next two months, I would write 70 articles on grief transformation. Two months after that I would be hosting 44 blogtalk radio shows about Grief Transformation. And in January 2011, I would hear the words Heal My Voice and submit the paperwork to start an organization.

This is a picture of what it looks like when you are in the middle of the bridge from the past to the future.

*****

Burbank, California

July 2010

It has been awhile since I have written a blogpost about the journey I have been on since January. The main reason for not writing is I haven’t had the words to describe what has been happening. I have been going deeper into myself and exploring and discovering a new depth of who I am. I have been describing my life with the words silent retreat, inner journey, climbing a mountain and walking on the beach. Asking questions and listening.

I check in on Facebook. I talk to a few people at the coffee shop. There is an occasional phone call. But, most of my time is spent in silence. Listening, observing the feedback from the Universe, taking action and feeling the feelings.

For the past few weeks, I have had moments every day of feeling like a failure. I have had several moments of feeling like I am a f**k-up. I have doubted, feared, questioned and told myself I live in a la-la fantasy world where I should just get with the program. Not sure what the program is exactly but it feels like “get back in the box and do what everyone else is doing.” Not sure what that is either. It feels constrictive because I am looking for the path of someone else and not my own.

Instead of running from the feelings, I have played with them every day. I have felt them, rolled them around in my heart, looked at them and learned from them.

This latest wave of fears and doubts started with a situation with my cats. The couple who have been watching them in Santa Barbara, CA. can no longer take care of them. Their oldest cat is beginning to feel the stress of living with 7 cats in a small house. It has become Urgent for us to find another home for them.

Staying with my theme of Open to Inspiration, I thought that maybe it was time to find an apartment and make a commitment to a specific location. In January, I thought Hannah and I would live in temporary situations for a year. Part of being open to the inspiration and releasing the attachment of timing. I opened to the idea of settling down and planting roots in southern California. With an apartment of our own, the cats could come and live with us.

I started every day by asking the question, “What is the next step in finding a place to live?” I listened and took a step towards the inspiration. Every day I experienced a “failure”. The apartments were too expensive. I don’t have a job with an income and probably couldn’t qualify. I don’t want to commit to a year lease without having a job or solid income. I don’t have enough money in the bank to pay for a year of apartment expenses. The apartment with the lower price was filled already. Every inspired step led me to a closed door.

The next step was to look for sublets that would allow cats. Nothing in the area.

Every day, I took the inspired action step. I felt the place of discomfort within myself. Every day I took an hour walk, felt the feelings and began to shift the energy. I imagined myself feeling a connection to the Earth as I walked. I imagined the critical thoughts passing through me letting all of the critical thoughts pass through me and into dear Mother Earth. At some point, during the walk, I would release the fear, anxiety, doubts. Call it a connection to nature, Spirit, God or a deeper place inside of you. Whatever your belief is fine.

One day, as I was walking and beginning to feel a relief from the fear, a moment of feeling at peace with myself and with life, a thought popped into my head.

I remembered a moment with my son, Cooper. He was born with a congenital heart defect. At two weeks old, he had just received his first open heart surgery. The doctors came into the private room where they would give us an update on the surgery. The doctor said that they had done all that they could, Cooper was weak and would probably not survive the night. After a few minutes, I decided to go and sit with our son. I had made a decision. I sat next to him in PICU. With tears streaming down my face, I began to speak. “Cooper, I love you. You are at a crossroads in your life. I will be here with you, no matter what you choose. If you decide to fight for your life and heal, I will be with you every step of the way. And if you decide that you have to leave now and die, I will stay with you and love you. No matter what you decide, I love you.” Within a few minutes, his vital signs improved. He had chosen to live.

And I was always with him. For 19 months, I took him to doctor appts, sat with him at the hospital until the last hospital stay when it was time for him to leave. Soul mission complete.

In recalling this loss, I am reminded how I discovered strengths inside of me that I didn’t know I had, in the pain of loving and losing my child. Courage, compassion, unconditional love, and my warrior spirit.

Somehow in the depth of feeling like a failure right now, letting myself go into the depths of the emotion, clearing it to see the truth of who I am, I discovered something about myself that I really never understood until now. I see that the way I have lived my life, pushing out of the box, being willing to take a risk, walking on the path when I can only see a foot in front of me, embracing it all, has been the only way I can live.

This is authentically ME!

What I know about myself is that I am showing up. I am living in flow. I don’t know what is going to happen in the next hour, day, week, month, year. I do know that I am courageous, willing, resourceful, loved, and inspired. I will not give up.

I know there is something on the other side of this. Today I am courageous. Today I reignite my curiosity and childlike sense of wonder knowing that anything is possible.

Today I remember who I am.

*****

Posted in Living in Flow

On Purpose Woman: A Workshop

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 6 of 100 days of blogging

I had an opportunity to lead a workshop at the On Purpose Woman Conference in Columbia, Maryland this past weekend. It was called, “Using the Feelings of Failure As a Tool of Exploration.” It was birthed from a blogpost I wrote in August 2015.

To be totally transparent, I thought there might be 3 women in the Workshop. It was not the bright, shiny, juicy topic of feel good upliftment I like to present at this conference. I also felt like I was still in a current process of feeling this feeling of failure. So, who am I to teach it while living it in the moment?!?

As women began to enter the room, I could feel how wrong I had been about the number of women interested in this topic. The room was packed. We gathered in a close circle with rows around the circle. Failure was the exact feeling that many of us were feeling and I wanted us to feel intimate and cozy. A women’s circle with deep, real conversation. Lean in. Whisper it. Speak it. Heart to heart sharing.

There are many reasons for this feeling of failure or defeat. We have all had losses of jobs, clients, health, homes and loved ones. And we have had successes that have come to completion and we are not sure where we are going next. So, we feel deflated, confused and lost. No matter how many successes we have had there are expectations in our society and culture that tell us we have failed; the internal and the external feelings and reflections. Even our closest friends and family who love us and want the best for us, add to the feeling with questions. “So, what are you going to do now?” My inner voice when I am this place of not knowing is: I DON”T KNOW!!! STOP ASKING ME!!!

I am going to share a little secret with you: I have felt these feelings of failure or uncertainty so many times and I always come out of it brighter and shinier and more excited about life than ever! When I am in it, it feels like I will never get to the other side. Luckily, I have experienced this so many times, I have a big tool kit of resources, support and experiences to stay connected to when I am in this process.

And one more secret: On some level you know what is next, too. It is in your subconscious and is in the process of emerging. The key is allowing yourself to feel the feelings of not knowing in this moment. You need silence and stillness and time to let it bubble up into your consciousness. Your intuition will guide you to the people, resources, classes, business partners, coaches, and new ideas. All of this will arrive one step at a time or in a big rush of ideas.

CAUTION: When you have the big rush of ideas, write them down and let them become grounded. Keep them close to your heart and get to know them before doing anything with them. Be willing to go even deeper and give them time to reorganize into a structure. An hour. A day. A week. A month. You do not need to spin your wheels to make things happen.

This is a rich time to deconstruct your patterns. This is where the power and freedom is hidden. Deconstruct your patterns to release the old and embrace the new.

A few Tips to Navigating during this time:

Give yourself time.

*Walks in Nature.

*Meditation.

*Slow down (even with kids, simplify everything. Go to the playground and spend time emptying your mind or reflecting. Or get up 15 minutes earlier or stay up later just to have some stillness.)

Write down clues and signs.

*What is crossing your path? A friend from high school finds you on Facebook. Someone recommends a book. A film is released and you are curious.

*What lights you up, gets you excited?

*Just write it down and become a detective in your life.

Set Intentions.

*Go to bed with a question on your mind. Keep paper and pen at the side of your bed so you can roll over and write down insights.

*Talk less about your process while you are in it.

*Find a place where you can be messy and release an unorganized, emotional, incomplete process.

Create rituals:

*Write for five minutes a day (at least)

*Morning Pages: Inspiration-The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

*Coloring mandalas or blank paper with crayons, markers, colored pencils.

*Buy some art supplies and play.

Meditate or write at the same time every day.

When you do an activity at the same time every day, it activates something in the brain. With this repetition, there is a time when your ideas flow like turning on a faucet of overflowing visions.

*****

PS: After the 40 minute workshop, a few of the women told me they wanted more information. A workshop. A retreat. Something more. The next day I rode the Megabus from Washington, DC to New York for a week of birthday celebrations. On the bus, I had a flash of ideas and by the time I reached New York, I had the structure of a program I will be teaching in November. A workshop with an on-line group and a Secret Facebook Group.

How to Use Feelings As A Tool of Exploration

This will be for women who know they are pioneers and carving new pathways. It is time!

Thank you Ginny Robertson for inviting me to speak. Thank you to the women who had the courage to come to the workshop and for asking me for more…

I am ready!

To attend the On Purpose Woman conference in the future, get on the mailing list! http://onpurposewomanconference.com/

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen

Say YES!: Human Connection

Posted on October 2, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 2 of 100 Days of Blogging

October 2, 2015

University Park, Maryland

It was one of those days. Weather had turned from 85 degrees Fahrenheit to 65 degrees Fahrenheit overnight. Pouring rain and I had to go out to run a few errands. The slow leak in the front tire of my car was now almost flat. I had dropped my iPhone the day before and the face cracked with exposed wires. The insurance company denied my claim and on top of that I heard a hurricane was on the way. All of this on the day before I was going to an On Purpose Woman Conference in Columbia, Maryland and then on to New York City for a week.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and imagined all of my power coming back to me. I am not a victim. I grabbed the keys and ran through the rain to the car.

First stop: The Tire Place in Hyattsville, Maryland. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, a man came out to greet me, showed me where to park the car and started to take care of the tire. Fifteen minutes later, the tire was plugged and the cost was only $10. Awesome! I am supported by the Universe! YES!

Second stop: Back to the house and walked my friends’ dogs while there was a break in the rain. Be of service. Do something for someone else. Slow down. Work through this day one step at a time. Doggies were so happy. Life is good! YES!

Third stop: The Verizon Store to buy a phone. It is a business tool and I have to take care of this. Sitting in the parking lot, I decided to call the insurance company one more time. Asking one more person why my claim was denied. (What is the purpose of insurance if it won’t pay for an accident with the phone?) It seems there was a record of me filing for a replacement phone in July which was not true. Thirty minutes later, the error was corrected, the fee was paid ($149 vs $600) and the phone will be delivered to me in New York. Thank you God! Back in business. YES!

Last stop: YES! Market. Healthy food and produce. I decide to buy fresh ingredients and cook dinner for my housemate tonight. Slowing down in the check-out line. Noticing. Breathing.

And then the biggest gift of the day arrived. A moment of tender humanity.

I noticed an African American couple running into the store when I first pulled up. Now, I was in the store and I heard sounds that could have been laughter or crying. The woman had her arms wrapped around the man’s shoulders. It felt sweet and tender. As I got closer, I noticed she had tears running down her face. Weaving through the aisles of the store, I passed them several more times. Silent tears on her face. At the check-out, they were right in front of me. Her tears and crying began to build until she ran out of the store, leaving the man at the check-out line. As soon as she left, his stoic face relaxed, his shoulders drooped and his tears began to fall. He placed the food on the check-out line: chicken, mushrooms, broccoli, milk and a six pack of bottled beer. The ingredients for a simple meal. Noticing him brushing away the tears, trying to stop the tears, and putting his hand over his face from time to time, I could feel his grieving heart. Surrounding him energetically with love, I held a space for him to feel what he was feeling without imposing my questions or condolences into his experience. I just witnessed and allowed a private moment in a public space.

When his turn at the check-out finally came, the young East Indian clerk at the check-out gave him his change and said, “I don’t know what is happening to you right now and May God Bless You.” The man nodded and walked out of the store. I looked at the clerk, held eye contact and nodded my head in agreement. This interchange between two men on a rainy day was so filled with sunshine. Heart connections. Beauty

One by one things came together in my day and the best part was feeling this authentic moment and witnessing heart felt caring from one stranger to another.

This is the world I live in.

Real. Connections. Love.

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

100 days of blogging: Oct 1, 2015 – Jan 8, 2016

Posted on October 1, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 1 of 100 days of blogging

(October 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016)

There is something really powerful about committing to a time period of writing. Daily writing activates something in our brains that helps us to access deeper emotions, thoughts, truths and feelings. Writing helps us wake up to new layers of expression and understanding. Writing primes the pump, encourages growth and action and stimulates new ideas.

Writing can be in the form of typing on a computer, writing with fancy pens and journals or jotting notes on scraps of paper. Writing helps us to focus and digest; to bring our words into form.

We write to be witnessed. Write to share our process. Write to inspire. And the most important: Always, always, always, begin by writing for the discovery of YOU!

*****

Last month, I felt an impulse, an inspiration to commit to an immersion in writing. Although I have been a journal writer since I was a teenager, I noticed a pattern that has emerged since I began to write publicly eight years ago. There is something potent about this time period: Oct 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016. I have primed the pump many times in the fall/winter. And out of the commitment has emerged new birth.

In 2007, the idea for the book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life was birthed during this time period and my writing voice was shared publicly for the first time.

In 2009, I sold my house and prepared to move to California which birthed a year of writing and deeper connection to hear my own voice.

In 2010, I developed and hosted 44 Blogtalk radio shows on Grief Transformation which birthed the organization Heal My Voice.

In 2013, I signed up for a course on Sexuality and I became a grandmother which birthed a fuller, richer experience of desire and connection to my soul.

As I look at all of the ideas that are bubbling to the surface for writing, I am excited and nervous. It takes a level of focus and commitment and a willingness to feel everything. Fear and excitement are interchangeable. What will I discover about myself in this exploration? What will I discover about you? Wisdom, Blessings, Transformation. Next steps…

I encourage you to write and explore with me. Share your comments and links to your blogs. And who knows what we will see on the other side. I know whatever it is will be rich!

To the adventure!

*****

Posted in Writing

Using the Feelings of Failure as a Tool of Exploration

Posted on August 24, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Flying home to Baltimore, I had a sudden flash of fear and sadness ripple through my body. The feeling and thought was, “I am a failure.” Ten years since my husband died. Five years of living in Los Angeles and traveling to different parts of the world, why do I feel like a failure?

I can make a list of some of the things I have accomplished since my husband died ten years. Organized and sponsored Evolutionary Women retreats and mentored a group of 44 women to write stories in a book called Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life. Ordained as a spiritual peace minister in the Beloved Community. Studied and completed two different year long coaching programs. Completed the homeschooling of my youngest child who graduated from Santa Monica College and is now enrolled at UCLA. Sold a house and my husband’s business and moved from Maryland to California. Drove over 40,000 miles in the United States in a three year period. Traveled to several countries. Started an organization called Heal My Voice with nine published books of true stories by women, two of the books in Swedish and developed and launched several other programs. Became On Purpose Woman of the Year in 2013. And there is much more I could add to this list.

Looking at that list, how can I even think I am a failure?

It comes down to internal and external expectations. It means I am focusing on the things I haven’t accomplished. It means I am trying to measure myself by the standards of society, family and friends.

This is not the first time I have felt like this. In 1980, when my 5th High School Reunion rolled around, I didn’t attend because I had this feeling of not having done enough. I had graduated from Temple University with a BSW and was immediately hired by an organization focused on working with teenagers. I loved my job and my life. I was living with my boyfriend. We had been together for four years. But we weren’t married and were not engaged and I wasn’t pregnant. It is so crazy to think about it now as my 40th reunion is approaching. Why did I think I should have accomplished all of that in 5 years?

I was caught up in the inner critic and the expectations in my head and noticing the life that other high school graduates were living in my town. I now have moments of feeling incredulous about that because it feels so crazy! AND…here I am once again with this idea of expectations of what my life “should” look like and what I “should” have accomplished instead of asking myself if I am using the time I have on the earth to experience and explore life in ways that are meaningful to me. Am I living the life I want to be living?

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Even that statement is limiting, it is more than that. Life is a series of experiences where we learn about ourselves in connection to people, places and things. A moment of intimate connection, a moment of laughter, a moment of sensation with smell, touch, seeing, hearing, feeling. It is the moment in the experiences. It is many journeys with many twists and turns and many destinations. Stops along the road.

So, noticing the feeling of failure in my heart and soul right now, I have been using the feelings as a tool of exploration. Noticing the depth of this feeling inside of me and noticing how it is being reflected in the comments of a few well meaning family and friends. For the last six weeks, I have embraced this feeling of failure as a teacher. I let myself sit in the feelings; Giving myself a day here and there to just feel shitty. No pushing through it to find the silver lining, to give myself a pep talk, no putting on a happy face or listing all the ways I have impacted hundreds, maybe thousands of people in the world.

Feeling all of the feelings is helping me to unravel outdated beliefs and get to some core or root issues. It is helping me to identify my “expectations” and the societal pressure to be anything except me. It is helping me to get in touch with my desire, to love myself more, to redefine my life and let it come into form with newly discovered desires. It is helping me to notice where I have impacted the world around me. It is helping me to find questions to ask and explore. I am writing, meditating, listening, reading, watching movies, having some conversations with people.

What do I want to create? Who do I want to spend time with? Where do I want to live?

At the age of 58, there is an expectation that I should be looking to retire, slow down, live in one place. Instead, I am continuing to live what may seem like a radical life. I listen to Spirit and I follow the beat of my inner guidance. I do not own a home or a car. I have been asking myself if I want to change that and how will that serve the expansion of the work I am passionate about. Do I need my own home to do the things I want and feel guided to be doing in the world? Or is it better to be home free?

The question I ask myself regularly is: “What does my soul want to experience and how what gifts do I have to share with the world?”

This is the experience I am choosing right now. Living in temporary spaces by house and pet sitting. Working out of coffee shops. Writing and listening.

I am curious. What is the question you are exploring right now? Post in the comment section and share it with us.

*****

I wrote this blog post in August 2015. Nine months later there were new ideas and a new program I created that helped me excavate and alchemize my experiences into supporting women on the same journey.

*****

Andrea Hylen received the 2013 On Purpose Women award by the On Purpose Networking for Women (OPN) organization in Baltimore, MD in recognition for her work to empower everyday women and girls all over the world. She founded Heal My Voice through her own experiences with grief, trauma, and loss which lead to living from greater inner authority, purpose and leadership. Andrea’s journey with grief includes the loss of her brother, husband and son.

With more than thirty-five years of training and teaching experience, Andrea is a coach, author, speaker, and parent, with expertise in grief, and healing from sexuality and trauma. Her training includes, BSW from Temple University, Ordained Minister in the Beloved Community, Enwaken Coaching System and OneTaste Coaching program and ongoing trainings in energy healing.

In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach. She thoroughly enjoys connecting through social media, blogging and hosting radio shows.

Posted in Leadership

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