Tag Archives: Flow

Building Community: Learning from the Masculine and Feminine

Day 17 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.13.45 AMA few weeks ago, a female friend invited me to a group called The New Masculine Community. When I first saw the words, I wondered why she was inviting me to a men’s group. I am a woman and I work mainly with women in my organization, Heal My Voice.

The description in the group:

This group is for education, discussion and debate. It originally was formed to support a men’s program by Zat Baraka, Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell called the Razor’s Edge that was run in Winter 2015.

Please note:
Masculine does not necessarily mean man.
Feminine does not necessarily mean woman.

This page is for ALL genders and ALL sexual orientations to discuss the topics of masculine and feminine nature in today’s ever-changing world. To help breakdown the bullshit conventions that run us, which haven’t worked in a very long time.

We are a community of people who want to learn more about how we tick and how others. We are here to share ideas and concepts. You might not like everything that you read. However, we hope that it influences you enough to notice your programming.

Having spent the last three years in what appears to be a female-centric practice (Orgasmic Meditation) and being committed to living in community and practicing with men, I decided to hang out in the group and read some of the comments. (I also really admire and appreciate the work of Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell who originally started the group and I know there is a team of women and men monitoring the posts.)

This week, one of the women in the group posted an article about Bradley Cooper (an actor) supporting Jennifer Lawrence (an actress) in her article about the Hollywood Pay Gap. Cooper has been teaming up with female stars to negotiate salaries before film production starts. “I don’t know where it’s changing otherwise but that’s something that I could do,” Cooper said.

http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/10/15/bradley-cooper-is-on-board-with-jennifer-lawrences-takedown-of-the-hollywood-pay-gap/

I feel like that is the point. If we see something in the world that is wrong, we can do our part. Do something. Support someone. Teach a woman or man how to negotiate a salary. Look around and see where you can offer your unique talents and skills. It begins with each of us making that choice individually.

I made a choice in my life 30 years ago to live in community where every person is supported and encouraged to be the fullest expression of who they really are. (By community, I mean finding like minded people who wanted to do the same thing. We all lived in our own family homes all over the city)

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 9.54.13 AMWe were all committed to heal the wounds of what we were taught are the roles of feminine and masculine. I made a choice to look at my own actions and behavior first, decide where I needed changes. I left a marriage because in that verbal and sexual abusive environment, I was not being the role model I came to be for my two little girls. I made the choice to leave and start unraveling generations of patterning about submissive women.

When I first read the article, I wrote the first comment and highlighted words Cooper spoke about seeing a problem and doing his part to make it right. He isn’t trying to change the whole world by  himself, just making a change where he had power. I invite you to let go of the amount of money they are making. That is a distraction from the bigger picture. This is an example of “In my world, I can change this.”

After the death of our son and my own life threatening illness my 2nd husband and I decided to homeschool our children to provide an environment where they had more self-expression and freedom to be themselves. We connected with 1000 families in the Baltimore~DC area. Pooled resources, offered our unique talents and skills, daily interaction and field trips. Stroked out the best of each kid. Male or female. Gave them the freedom to find out who they are. Then, it was up to each child to make their own choices. We laid the foundation.

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.16.20 AMInstead of talking about a bunch of theory about what is the new masculine and what is feminine leadership, how about each of us taking a look at where we can support someone to be the best they can be instead of using humor or criticism to diminish them. Ask yourself, how can I be the best version of a man? How can I be the best version of a woman? How can I integrate masculine and feminine characteristics of creativity, intuition, action, strength into my life? Feel. Think. Open your eyes and look around.

The commitment to your own growth doesn’t end until you die. I imagine that every person reading this blogpost has a desire, a longing for better communication with others and deep down wants to peel away the facade of who you thought you were supposed to be. And underneath, there is another part of you that wants to be seen and felt and heard.

You don’t have to do everything. Do something. Do your part.

We are all in this together.

 

*****

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Living in Flow: What is Flow?

Day 16 of 100 days of blogging

Taking a pause today to add some definition to the word Flow.

Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 7.39.13 PMStudies have shown that flow is one stage in a Flow Cycle. Steven Kotler is a researcher and author who has given us some words for what happens in the flow cycle and how to do things to jumpstart and trigger the flow step.

 

Flow Cycle: (You have to return through all 4 parts of the cycle before returning to flow.)

Struggle: Loading with new information.

Release or Relaxtion: Take your mind off the problem.

Flow: You are in the flow state (In the zone)

Recovery: Go into a low feeling.

The power in the cycle is to learn how to move through struggle and recover better.

 

 

There are 17 triggers or preconditions that bring on more flow.

 

Psychological Triggers:

Intensely Focused Attention

Clear Goals

Immediate Feedback

The Challenge/Skills Ratio

 

Environmental Triggers:

High Consequences

Rich Environment

Deep Embodiment

 

Social Triggers:

Serious Concentration

Shared, Clear Goals

Good Communication

Familiarity

Equal Participation and Skill Level

Risk

Sense of Control

Close Listening

Always Say Yes

 

Creative Trigger

Creativity (Pattern Recognition and Risk Taking

 

 

 

For more information go to the Flow Genome Project

http://www.flowgenomeproject.co/

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

Living in Flow: Tuning In

Day 15 of 100 days of Blogging

IMG_1720Los Angeles. March 2014.

I had been living in a community house for 10 months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and my bedroom in the garage apartment. I wanted to live there forever.

One day I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicated with me. I stopped and asked the question, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer.

An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, down my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week. When I didn’t receive any other “signs” or “messages”, I decided to take some action by going through my 10 x 10 storage unit and everything in my apartment space.

IMG_1689Over the next six weeks, I lived my life and in between daily work and play, I reviewed every piece of paper and every thing I owned. At the end of the six weeks, I gave away 14 boxes of personal belongings and 6 bags of clothes.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. There were numerous conversations as a household and with individuals who felt aligned for the next living space. The ten of us finally dispersed to move into three different places in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. To have conversations, to live life, to finish incomplete projects and to collect ideas, wisdom, for the next step.

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, and fear in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in another adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice to expand my business and to discover the next steps. I was open to where I would be led to learn and discover new things about myself and about the world. I needed time to integrate all of the changes over the last nine years and to be ready for the next steps. At each location, I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone, to be in the present moment, to listen and learn and speak when inspired.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend Lucky Sweeny and the possibility of staying with her for 5 days in Santa Barbara. I knew I had a class in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me spontaneously and I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how perfect the timing was. The rest of the month she would be busy or out of town.

During the next week, I began to have feelings and a sense of inner knowing about the general location.

June: Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, San Franciscoo

July: East Coast

August: Sweden

September: East Coast

October-December: West Coast

I made a few calls. Stated my feelings and desire. Received invitations with open arms and enthusiasm and packed my bags.

On June 1, 2014 I stood outside of my community house at 6am, taking a moment of gratitude and then climbed into my daughter’s car for a ride to the train station in Burbank. And so began a year of living in flow on the road…

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Orgasmic Meditation: My 28th OM

Day 14 of 100 days of blogging

In 2014, I co-facilitated a group of women from Sweden and the United States to write a story in the book Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire. Women wrote stories from the body about childbirth, puberty, menopause, and sexuality. My story was called: Slut: A woman with the morals of a man. (This is the definition from the Urban Dictionary) I processed a lot of feelings and emotions to write this story. A journey of sexual exploration. It was a bigger “coming out” to family, friends, community with a topic that is hidden for most of us. When I released my story into the book, I felt free.

This is an excerpt from my story where I wrote about an experience in an OM (Orgasmic Meditation:

Inside of me were these different parts that seemed incongruent, the mother, the slut, the nice girl, the bitch, the soft feminine, the determined warrior. Most of the time, I felt I had to shut down the desires of the slut. I rarely let her take charge and claim her lusty, natural desires.

At the age of 56, I entered a world of sexual exploration consciously and took one step at a time; pausing, trying something new, reflecting, checking in to see how it felt in my body and willing to experience everything. I decided to become a living research project. Over a two-year period, I practiced Orgasmic Meditation (OM) with multiple partners, had an intimacy research partner to explore sex and vulnerable conversation, lived in a conscious community with a morning OM practice, and took a year of coursework in a Desire-based Leadership Program and Orgasm Mastery. I kept a journal to record my experiences and feelings.

 

OM #28: A moment in an OM

Screen Shot 2015-08-17 at 7.27.35 AMHave you ever had a man place his full attention on your body?

Me, quietly: “I feel sad,”
Him calmly: “I’ve got you. Let it out.”

Laying on my back, legs spread in a butterfly position, his finger lightly stroked my clitoris in this 15 minute partnered practice. This time I released sadness. His attention and my surrender allowed wave after wave of sobbing outbursts to erupt from the cells of my body and through my voice. After the first five minutes, I could feel the sobs welling up again like a wave in the ocean building to a crescendo. I shout out to him:

“DON’T LEAVE ME””

Him: “I’m right here. I won’t leave.”

In this, my 28th OM, I am releasing so much emotion, I cannot believe a man will stay connected, will keep lightly stroking, will hold a space calmly while I get to feel and release everything!

I was raised with the idea that men were incapable of holding my emotion. I had to tone it down. Be a nice girl. Cry silently. Alone. The idea that a man could place all of his attention on me without asking me to immediately turn and place my attention on him is amazing.

After the OM, he asked if I was okay. Did I need anything? Water? Food? Bathroom? Another OM? Yes to water and bathroom and OM. Get back into the OM nest of blankets and pillows and integrate what just happened.

I lay down in the nest again; legs butterflied open. Trusting him even more. Going into deeper surrender. Throughout the OM, the only thing that emerges is connection, heightened sensation and more pleasure than I have ever felt in my life. I am cracked open.

The experience changed us both. I felt a man place his full attention on me. Holding all of me. And going into the deepest surrender I have ever felt. He experienced a woman trusting him enough to let him hold her, all of her. Maybe the things we were taught about women and men while growing up are not true. We both saw a glimpse of what is possible with greater connection, trust, surrender and support.

He later described me as one of the chambers of his heart. For breaking his heart out of his prison and putting it back together. This was a moment in time that cracked both of us open to be more of who we are in our separate lives. I am grateful that our paths crossed with so much intimacy and healing.

I am grateful for the practice of OM and for the people who have the courage to try it.

 

*****

 

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

A Life Powered by Orgasm

Day 12 of 100 days of blogging

(Originally this was published on the OneTaste site https://onetaste.us/a-life-powered-by-orgasm/)

A Life Powered by Orgasm

By Andrea Hylen

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 4.00.55 PMI used to connect the word orgasm to the act of climax during intercourse. As I have been exploring the power of orgasm as an energy source over the last year, I have found that I like this definition better:


Orgasm: A similar point of intensity of emotional excitement.

Orgasm is the energy that pulses through me when I am fully engaged with life. It’s the excitement I feel when I am free to be myself. It’s feeling a wide range of emotions. In all these states, I am in the flow of orgasm.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…fueled me to leave my first husband and break free of old beliefs and find my voice.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…inspired me to home school my children with creativity and adventure.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…compelled me to go to 78 Jonas Brothers concerts in 2 1/2 years with my teenage daughter.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…moved me to host 44 internet radio shows in 45 days—when I had never hosted a radio show before.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…pulsed through me to start the organization Heal My Voice.

Screen Shot 2013-04-21 at 8.47.55 AM“Orgasm” to me is a superpower energy that encourages me to say, “YES!” It pushes me into the world and inspires me with the juice of my desire to experience as much as I possibly can while I am living life.

Do you want to know how to access this superpower for yourself?

Three tips on how to live powered by orgasm:

Feel the Sensations and Listen to Your Body: Develop a daily practice that cultivates your ability to focus and listen to the sensations in your body. Journaling, walking in nature, yoga and Orgasmic Meditation (OM) are all superb practices.

My daily OM practice has increased my ability to feel and hold more sensation. I support trauma survivors in my work. A few years ago, I could only coach one survivor a day. The sensations of their emotions were too intense for me. Now, I coach five survivors a day, three times a week, and I have coached over 200 women writing stories of trauma, loss and grief. My practice has helped me be able to hold more sensation in my body.

Take Action: Start with one step—one stroke, one phone call, one task—and keep building that momentum with the next inspired action step.

My daily OM practice has unleashed more of my desire to speak my voice in the world. When the president of a women’s organization asked me to speak at her conference I felt the orgasm pulsing through me and I said yes—even before I knew what I would be speaking about! All I had to do was take the next action step towards what I wanted.

Ask for Support: It is more fun to share the adventure with other people and receiving help will exponentially increase the orgasm!

An OM practice is inherently a partnered practice. We literally can not do it alone. And I don’t want to do it alone. Asking for adjustments and receiving requests from my partner within the container of the OM teaches me how to connect, how to ask and receive support for my desires, and how to live in high sensation while in connection to other people.

I AM POWERED BY ORGASM! You can be, too.

 

*****

Screen Shot 2013-09-20 at 8.18.13 PMAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

You Decide: Choices Create Your Life

Day 10 of 100 days of blogging

Queens, New York

October 10, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.00.26 PMWatching Bob’s Burgers with my granddaughter Lucille this morning, I was inspired to write a blog about the episode when it is Linda’s birthday. Linda is the Mom. (Episode is called Eat, Spray Linda. Season 5. Episode 18)

Linda wakes up remembering it is her birthday. She tries to bury her head under the pillow and stay in bed to avoid the day. When the family tells her they are working on a surprise and she has to leave the house, Linda goes out to the grocery store where a series of mishaps occur. Keys locked in car with her cell phone and purse. Pants rip in the butt. No one in the grocery store will help her. Catches a bus going in the wrong direction. Sprayed by a skunk twice. It is a day of total chaos and Linda digs deep and conquers one challenge after another.

At the end of the day, bathing in a tub filled with tomato juice, her husband (Bob) tells her, ” Sorry your birthday was horrible.” She says, “Hey! Don’t be sorry. This was the best birthday ever!” She goes on to tell him that this is a new tradition. “Every year on my birthday, you blindfold me. Drop me off at a location with no cell phone and no money and I have to find my way home.”

I love Linda! She has this way of seeing the sunshine in adversity. Linda made the best of the chaotic situation and ignited a part of her that had been dormant. She came alive!

What if we all embraced adversity and challenges with this exuberance? What could we create in our lives and in the world?

 

You Decide.

The show reminded me of something I shared in the 30 days of writing program for this month:

It may feel like you have had no choice at different times in your life. You didn’t decide your life circumstances. You had another plan and it looked nothing like this! You may feel as if you lost control of your life. And at the same time you still have choices. You get to decide who you are going to be in this moment. You get to decide how you are going to respond and to be in the moment of what is happening.

On the community call yesterday I talked about my son and the power of the gifts I learned from his birth and his death and his illness. He was my teacher. Twenty-two years later, I continue to reach into that bag of gifts over and over. I may have moments of sadness. That’s okay. When someone you love dies, you will have moments of sadness. Even twenty years later. Reaching into that time period also reminds me of things that were revealed about who I really am.

When we are presented with challenges, we can find the gifts.

I first found out about my son’s heart condition when I was seven months pregnant with him and I was driving to drop off a report for a consulting job. When I got off the cell phone, I started pounding on the steering wheel and crying out in pain. Why God? Why me? Why him? Haven’t I had enough challenges in this lifetime? More than my fair share? Why, why, why?

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.44.29 PMAfter a few hours of feeling like this, I made a decision. I am powerless over this situation and I can still take charge of my life. I decided I was here to support my son and I would cross- stitch angels. Every stitch would be a prayer. It would be a blessing to Cooper, to our family and friends, to everyone who we would meet. In the 19 months of his life, I cross stitched elaborate angels with tiny, tiny stitches and big, big prayers.

This is actually how you change and transform. You are presented with a life experience and YOU DECIDE who you are going to be. Then you practice it. Over and over until one day you are transformed. Caterpillar to butterfly.

 

New Perspectives

Like Linda on Bob’s Burgers and the challenges she had on her birthday or the experiences we all have when we feel powerless or out of control, we have a choice. To embrace the experience and find out new things about ourselves or to shut down and give up.

I encourage you to get a new perspective and challenge yourself. You never know what surprises are laying within you!

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

The Power of Aging: Preparing for the Next Decade

Day 9 of 100 days of blogging

New York City
October 9, 2015
Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.49.28 AM
I had a great birthday yesterday. I mean, really great! Connecting with myself, with people and all on my own terms. I was going to go to a museum in New York City and then the coffee shop in the East Village felt so good and my words were flowing; I stayed in the moment and kept writing. The day ended at a Community Potluck with the surprise of cupcakes and the Happy Birthday song!

Leading up to this birthday was not fun. It actually felt pretty scary and I had a lot of feelings and fears and confusion in the last year. In the past, I have embraced every decade. Turning 40 and 50 was exciting. I have always felt like things were getting better and there was an adventure around every corner. Until this year…

The fears were about turning 60 next year and a fear of dying. My husband, my best girlfriend and a friend’s husband all died at 60. I have had a lot of stories about this new fear. I have let myself the feelings fully and stirred them around to get to the root. The fear is not about the actual dying. I feel like it will be cool to be in another dimension of time. I believe that life goes on. And if for some reason it doesn’t, I have lived a good life and I will return to dust.
The fear is that I will not finish what I came here to do. That I will not finish the journey of becoming the woman I want to become. To leave a new type of role model for my daughters and my granddaughter and the generations of women to come after me. To leave a legacy. I left my first husband after realizing that I was not being the woman I wanted to be for my daughters. That desire has led me to be a warrior with my personal growth. Thirty years of learning and growing and making different choices. Inside of me I have another 49 years of ideas to implement and there are a few more hurdles I want to transmute and alchemize into gold before I leave.

 My 59th birthday yesterday was a turning point. A willingness to transform the fears andScreen Shot 2015-10-09 at 8.15.59 AM live fully right now. When my husband turned 59, he already had an aversion to turning “60”. I told him, why don’t we celebrate every month and ring in the next decade?

 This week, I decided to take my own advice. I spent the day ringing in the next decade. Everywhere I went, I told people it was my birthday. I received all of the birthday blessings. I spent time alone and I spent time in a community where I can bring all of me.
I am making a note on the calendar each month to spend a day celebrating my life. (In addition to the celebration of every breath) The power is in the simplicity. Celebrate. Be in the present moment. The idea is to pause and do something on that day that fills me up. Welcome in the next frontier. The decade of 60.

It is not the end. It is the beginning.

I am surrendering to life in a deeper way. Every experience has prepared me for this time. In my heart, I feel like I am just getting started. There is a power in aging.
And so it is!

*****

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

*****

Living in Flow: Courage to Listen

Day 7 of 100 days of blogging

IMG_0235

When I first wrote the draft for this blogpost, I was at a crossroads. I had been living in youth hostels and extended stay hotels with my youngest daughter while we explored living in California. I didn’t know if we would stay there or if we would return to Maryland and the community I had known for 28 years. This experience is an example of living in the void, between worlds, where one thing was ending and the new beginning was around the corner. I just couldn’t see it yet.

In the next two months, I would write 70 articles on grief transformation. Two months after that I would be hosting 44 blogtalk radio shows about Grief Transformation. And in January 2011, I would hear the words Heal My Voice and submit the paperwork to start an organization.

This is a picture of what it looks like when you are in the middle of the bridge from the past to the future.

*****

Burbank, California

July 2010

It has been awhile since I have written a blogpost about the journey I have been on since January. The main reason for not writing is I haven’t had the words to describe what has been happening. I have been going deeper into myself and exploring and discovering a new depth of who I am. I have been describing my life with the words silent retreat, inner journey, climbing a mountain and walking on the beach. Asking questions and listening.

Screen Shot 2015-10-07 at 7.36.33 AMI check in on Facebook. I talk to a few people at the coffee shop. There is an occasional phone call. But, most of my time is spent in silence. Listening, observing the feedback from the Universe, taking action and feeling the feelings.

For the past few weeks, I have had moments every day of feeling like a failure. I have had several moments of feeling like I am a f**k-up. I have doubted, feared, questioned and told myself I live in a la-la fantasy world where I should just get with the program. Not sure what the program is exactly but it feels like “get back in the box and do what everyone else is doing.” Not sure what that is either. It feels constrictive because I am looking for the path of someone else and not my own.

Instead of running from the feelings, I have played with them every day. I have felt them, rolled them around in my heart, looked at them and learned from them.

This latest wave of fears and doubts started with a situation with my cats. The couple who have been watching them in Santa Barbara, CA. can no longer take care of them. Their oldest cat is beginning to feel the stress of living with 7 cats in a small house. It has become Urgent for us to find another home for them.

Staying with my theme of Open to Inspiration, I thought that maybe it was time to find an apartment and make a commitment to a specific location. In January, I thought Hannah and I would live in temporary situations for a year. Part of being open to the inspiration and releasing the attachment of timing. I opened to the idea of settling down and planting roots in southern California. With an apartment of our own, the cats could come and live with us.

I started every day by asking the question, “What is the next step in finding a place to live?” I listened and took a step towards the inspiration. Every day I experienced a “failure”. The apartments were too expensive. I don’t have a job with an income and probably couldn’t qualify. I don’t want to commit to a year lease without having a job or solid income. I don’t have enough money in the bank to pay for a year of apartment expenses. The apartment with the lower price was filled already. Every inspired step led me to a closed door.

The next step was to look for sublets that would allow cats. Nothing in the area.

Every day, I took the inspired action step. I felt the place of discomfort within myself. Every day I took an hour walk, felt the feelings and began to shift the energy. I imagined myself feeling a connection to the Earth as I walked. I imagined the critical thoughts passing through me letting all of the critical thoughts pass through me and into dear Mother Earth. At some point, during the walk, I would release the fear, anxiety, doubts. Call it a connection to nature, Spirit, God or a deeper place inside of you. Whatever your belief is fine.

One day, as I was walking and beginning to feel a relief from the fear, a moment of feeling at peace with myself and with life, a thought popped into my head.

I remembered a moment with my son, Cooper. He was born with a congenital heart defect. At two weeks old, he had just received his first open heart surgery. The doctors came into the private room where they would give us an update on the surgery. The doctor said that they had done all that they could, Cooper was weak and would probably not survive the night. After a few minutes, I decided to go and sit with our son. I had made a decision. I sat next to him in PICU. With tears streaming down my face, I began to speak. “Cooper, I love you. You are at a crossroads in your life. I will be here with you, no matter what you choose. If you decide to fight for your life and heal, I will be with you every step of the way. And if you decide that you have to leave now and die, I will stay with you and love you. No matter what you decide, I love you.” Within a few minutes, his vital signs improved. He had chosen to live.

And I was always with him. For 19 months, I took him to doctor appts, sat with him at the hospital until the last hospital stay when it was time for him to leave. Soul mission complete.

In recalling this loss, I am reminded how I discovered strengths inside of me that I didn’t know I had, in the pain of loving and losing my child. Courage, compassion, unconditional love, and my warrior spirit.

Somehow in the depth of feeling like a failure right now, letting myself go into the depths of the emotion, clearing it to see the truth of who I am, I discovered something about myself that I really never understood until now. I see that the way I have lived my life, pushing out of the box, being willing to take a risk, walking on the path when I can only see a foot in front of me, embracing it all, has been the only way I can live.

This is authentically ME!

What I know about myself is that I am showing up. I am living in flow. I don’t know what is going to happen in the next hour, day, week, month, year.  I do know that I am courageous, willing, resourceful, loved, and inspired. I will not give up.

I know there is something on the other side of this. Today I am courageous. Today I reignite my curiosity and childlike sense of wonder knowing that anything is possible.

Today I remember who I am.

 

*****

 

IMG_0985Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Leadership: Three Girls in Flow

Day 3 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-03 at 9.29.37 PMOn New Year’s Eve in 2013, I attended an event at the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles with two of my friends, Julia and Eric. During the evening, there was meditation, intention setting, music and dancing; lots and lots of dancing. As the New Year approached, we were in the front of the church watching three girls dancing on a set of carpeted stairs leading up to the main stage.

The girls, ages 10, 8, and 7 had us mesmerized. Each of them dancing in joy and harmony with each other. Dancing their own dance and connected in a natural flow, they walked up and down the stairs with each girl taking her turn on the top step and claiming the spotlight with enthusiasm while the other two danced together one step down. Then, as if they had practiced and pre-arranged the timing, the girl on the top step would switch places with one of the other girls. Over and over they took turns dancing on the top step while also enjoying the lower step.

It was gorgeous. It was like watching Diana Ross and the Supremes except that each girl had her turn at being Diana Ross and her turn at being the “back-up” singer. No need to compete because it was so beautifully shared.

It may seem like a little thing unless you look at this as a microcosm of a larger picture that is emerging on the planet. Girls and women learning how to be strong leaders, how to take turns in the spotlight, how to dance their dance without playing small or diminishing each other and having fun while doing it.Screen Shot 2015-10-02 at 12.55.27 PM

*****

 

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Lost? Go to Plan B and Flow

Screen Shot 2014-10-25 at 11.32.58 PMI woke up Saturday morning feeling lost.

Empty.

I noticed that the things on my “schedule” brought me into a state of feeling even more lost. My mind thought Restorative yoga at 7:30am sounded like a good thing I should do for my body. I dragged myself out of bed even though I was tired from late night talking with my daughter. Walking to the new studio, I got lost when my phone died and I didn’t know the rest of the way. Getting lost meant I would be late, especially if I stopped in a store and asked for directions.

So, I took a breath. Walked a few more blocks, turned right on a familiar street to find my way back to my daughter’s apartment and I saw a restaurant with the name, “Plan B.”

Good one God.

At the apt, I walked up the stairs, climbed back into my bed, and emptied my mind. I waited and noticed the thoughts that were crossing my mind.

Start again.

Get dressed.

Get on #1 Bus to Santa Monica. A 20 minute ride to the beach.

 

*****

I have landed back in LA after living out of my suitcase for 5 1/2 months. Home free. Traveling around the world. Living with Board Members and Heal My Voice Authors. Expanding my business. Saying Yes to experiences that put me into compression, a form of pressure where I can discover more about myself and discover the vision for Heal My Voice for 2015.

Now, I am staying with my youngest daughter in her studio apartment. Sleeping on an air mattress with our cat curled up next to me as I rest. I need rest. Time to integrate all of the changes and new awareness.

I want all of the answers right now and even as I say that I know it is not time to know. Today. I know the next steps and the answers will come. Feeling lost is a way of emptying the things I think I know. Being empty is part of the process of flow. It is the part where I get to breathe, wait, recover, reflect and rest.

Staying present on Saturday, I found myself in Flow again which led me to write in a coffee shop, pick up mail at my business mailbox, buy a pair of my favorite flip flops, a walk on the beach, a Pinkberry peppermint and chocolate frozen yogurt cone and back home to rest.

I am not really lost. Are you?

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