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The Power of Connection: Show Up and Play

Posted on November 27, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 58 of 100 days of Blogging

Some memories of childhood came to me this week while reading a book. The words, “I discovered people are alike in many, many more ways than they are different,” rang true.

I moved 12 times by the time I was 15 years old. We lived in the West, East, North and South. Different states all over the U.S. My Dad was in the Marines when I was born. My mom was a homemaker. Then, my Dad was hired by Pillsbury in sales for the refrigerated section of the company. Think Pillsbury Doughboy. Every promotion meant a move to a different region. My Dad continued working for Pillsbury for 33 years and then retired to a golf course in Florida with my mother.

Belonging to a group is a fundamental need on the Maslow chart of Self-Actualization. So, of course, as a kid, I wanted to connect and belong to a peer group. Moving so much meant I had to keep starting over and find new ways to connect. While living in Dallas, Texas, in elementary school, we lived in a neighborhood with kids and activities connected by an alley way and rows of back yards. Easy to belong. Show up and play. Everyone was included.

By the time I was in middle school in Edina, Minnesota, I was lost. I could never find my place in either of the two schools I attended there. There were moments of fun and connection with Girl Scouts and singing activities in school. But, I never really felt like I belonged in the day to day classroom interactions and it was hard to find friends for weekend activities.

We moved to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania when I was going into the ninth grade and by 10th grade, I felt connected with a purpose. I felt connected to every group. You could say I was “popular” but not in an obvious way. I knew People. People knew me. I was in many clubs. I was Secretary of my class. I was visible. I felt like I belonged. I was well liked and included in activities.

The memories that surfaced this week included a flash of me as a school girl in high school. I reflected on why things changed and when? How did I come into my own in high school? What happened? And then I remembered a choice point and an awakening.

In ninth grade, sometime during the month of November, I decided to stop waiting for people to see me and instead, I saw them. With the holidays all around us, I decided to create an individualized holiday card for every person in my class. I spent weeks, cutting photos and words out of magazines that I felt represented something about each person. Sports, fashion, dogs, cats, nature. Taping the pictures onto construction paper, I folded each sheet in half and wrote a personalized note, a gratitude, something that reflected something about the person; something I had noticed about them. I spent the whole month creating the cards and observing each person. Some of the the cards were easy and some of them took me longer to really see the person under layers of protecting who they were. My intention was to give them something uplifting and my desire was a moment of connection.

Something happened that I did not anticipate. This was the awakening. I stopped trying to get people to like me or notice me. I was so absorbed in this project and watching people and really falling in love with each of them. I could see and feel the beauty, the vulnerability, the tenderness in each person. I started to interact with them differently. I stopped feeling this screaming voice inside of me: SEE ME! DOES ANYONE SEE ME? And instead, I saw them. I felt connected. I felt like I belonged. The natural essence of who I am emerged and was seen by my being.

There is a quote by Maya Angelou that has been paraphrased in a variety of ways, “At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

That holiday season I received the gift of seeing others and allowing them to see me and it changed everything. I became a better listener. I learned the power of silence and observation. I learned how to wait patiently and allow the connections to happen in organic, vibrant ways. I learned who I am.

Do you have a moment of awakening that you are remembering now? Please share it with us in the comment section.

Lots of Love,

Andrea

**********

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Women Healing Relationships with Each Other

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 55 of 100 days of Blogging

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. ~Gloria Steinem

I woke up to a post written by a woman in her early 30’s. A powerful Goddess Warrior. Intelligent. Passionate. Brilliant. Giving and Loving. Beautiful inside and out. A friend of one of my daughters.

I burst into tears sobbing as I read her gratitude to her women friends. I have spent my life working with women. Sitting in circles with women with the intention of forming connections and healing our relationships with each other. Raising three daughters to love and appreciate and support women. Heal My Voice circles are held with the intention of women healing their stories and relationships with women together. I am passionate about this and committed to it. Women seeing each other, listening, accepting our differences and finding our places of connection.

When I see a friend of my daughter posting about the power of her friendships with other powerful, amazing women and challenging women to fix the thing in them that keeps them from developing strong friendships with women, yes… I cry. I cry for joy. I cry with relief. I cry with gratitude that I am here to experience this shift. I cry knowing that my daughter is one of this woman’s amazing friends and that together they have other amazing women friends in their intersecting circles. Circle, after circle, after circle.

As a new women’s group is forming in Washington, DC to support women in a sexuality practice, I am bolstered with hope and determination to continue to do my part knowing that I am not alone. Knowing that each circle of women that gathers is having an impact on each other and the world. The ripple effect is getting larger and larger.

And as we heal with each other, we form stronger relationships with men. We raise our sons to value women. We raise our daughters to value men. Strong women lift each other up. They lift up their families, communities and the world.

The Facebook Post:

A type of Thanksgiving “thanks” post:

My entire life, wherever I go, I’ve always found very intense, deep, and long-lasting friendships with other women. Though I don’t love all of Roxanne Gay’s “How to be Friends with Another Woman” essay and admit that I’m sad these lists even have to exist (though I think we’re needing them less and less, slowly but surely) I’d like to highlight the ones that stood out to me and thank some of the most amazing women in my life for not needing these reminders:

1. Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be toxic, bitchy or competitive. This myth is like heels…designed to SLOW women down.
…
3. If you find that you are feeling competitive, toxic, or bitchy toward the women who are supposed to be your closest friends, look at why and figure out how to fix it and/or find someone who can help you fix it.

4. If you are the kind of woman who says, “I’m mostly friends with guys,” and act like you’re proud of that, like that makes you closer to being a man or something, and less of a woman as if a woman is a bad thing, see Item 3. It’s okay if most of your friends are guys but if you champion this as a commentary on the nature of female friendships, well, soul search a little.

4A. If you feel like it’s hard to be friends with women consider that maybe women aren’t the problem. Maybe it’s just you.

Together We Can Rock the World!

**********

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in women

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #16-#21

Posted on November 21, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 52 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 4th Blogpost in a series.

Tips #1-#5 are here

Tips #6-#10 are here

Tips #11-#15 are here

*****

I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New OMers #16: When discussing your OMs with others … anonymize your partners: “my stroker moved his finger ____.” Don’t say their name. People’s need for privacy / security may fluctuate greatly. Remember … they are your stroker … not your boyfriend / girlfriend. Social circles intersect these days in surprising ways.

Notes from Andrea: Guilty! This was one of the wires I had to uncross. Looking back, it was the ego stroking and it was commerce. My ecstatic gratitude to be touched and receive the attention, even when the OMs really felt meditative and not sexual, I was thanking my strokers, by name, all over the OM Hub (which was on Facebook at the time) And I wasn’t the only one. We were all high on Orgasm and we wanted to love each other up! So…remember that everyone has different privacy needs and this is not dating and keep it simple. You can share your experience in an OM, just no posting names and nothing that identifies the OM partner.

Tips for New Female OMers #17: Keep and use your own lube. Keep track of where it is … and how it is handled. No double-dipping – avoid yeast infections.

Tips for New Female OMers #18: If your period comes, and you wish to OM … OM. Safeport your partner. Some newbie strokers may be squeamish … it is an archaic cultural thing. Respect their right range … if they pass on OMing … it won’t be about you. Every experienced (100+) strokers I know have *no* problem with stroking women during their period. Women on their flow often have “energetic release” OMs … and it may help some women alleviate cramps. Depending on flow … consider using a larger towel. Menses is part of having a pussy … celebrate it!

Notes from Andrea: On lube: Do you remember Biology class and growing cultures from the germs on your hands. Have your own lube. Ask the stroker to wear gloves. And if you are OMing in a monogamous relationship without gloves, have your partner use something to take some lube out of the jar. Another tip on lube: I like OneTaste Lube because it has beeswax and it helps the stroker get a better connection on the clit. I have used coconut oil and a sex lube. They were both too slippery (I tried all three lubes as a stroker, too and I prefer the OneTaste lube.)

On the period tips: It is so true. I have never heard a stroker say No to OM with a woman who is menstruating. Extra towels sometimes. Do what feels right to you and safeport your partner.

One more tip: If a woman has a tampon in and the string is hanging out, there is no reason to say anything about it, unless it affects you in some way. Like you want to safeport her that the string was moved during the towel stroke.

Tips for New Female OMers #19: OneTaste (for marketing purposes) went through a phase where they didn’t mention using gloves as an essential element of an OM. This was an unfortunate decision on their part. Gloves are strongly recommended. There are some strokers who haven’t gotten the memo (see the new OT Container doc) … and think they “know best.” For safety and hygiene: have your stroker use gloves. Even in a solitary, committed partnership … like a marriage. Your hubby may have a host of pussy-unfriendly bacteria on his hands on any given day. Use gloves – hygiene is a way to signal respect.

(Note from Andrea: It also separates it as a practice and not sex)

Tips for New Female OMers #20: Know what gloves your pussy likes / dislikes. Keep a stash of your favs on hand – in different sizes … in case a guest stroker comes by.

Tips for New Female OMers #21: Have your stroker always wash his / her hands before OMing starts. And keep those fingernails clipped close and clean.

Notes from Andrea: One of the most powerful things we can change in our communication is more consciousness around our interactions and asking for what we want. Women using their voice. Connecting with men. Consideration for each other.

True confession: I got pregnant at the age of 19 because I was embarrassed to let the “one night stand” I was sleeping with know that I wasn’t on birth control pills and we needed to use a condom. I didn’t want to bother or trouble or inconvenience him. Geez! He was so hot, I put that before taking care of myself. It was a foolish decision and it woke me up and started my personal growth journey. I had an abortion and basically it shook me into: WTF are you doing?!?

Forty years later, the journey with asking a man for what I need and want in the OM nest and in bed are still waking up. It gets easier and easier even when a stroker does not “like” the adjustment I asked for. Using my voice to ask for what I want.

Tips on Gloves: Use gloves, even if you are in a relationship with someone. It keeps OM as a practice and separate from sex. Keep gloves on hand.

Ask your stroker to keep his nails clipped. It is amazing how an unclipped stroking finger can feel like shards of glass on the clit and an unclipped thumb nail can leave an abrasion in the introitus.

Tips #22-#25 next week!

*****

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Influencing, Connecting and Impacting Each Other

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 50 of 100 days of Blogging

A Facebook Friend posted this on his page this week: “I find it pure comedy that media talks about Paris but you hear nothing about the attacks in Kenya last April. The media is such a joke.”

I thought about this for three days. Instead of reacting or responding right away, I allowed myself to feel a variety of layers. Although he made light of this situation with a down stroke about the media, I could also feel a tenderness. There was an underlying question or desire about why we value one country over another.

Here is what I felt, noticed and thought:

My awareness about Paris first came through Facebook. The news reporting was shared by friends who live in Paris, have family and friends in Paris, were visiting Paris, or had fond memories of visiting Paris. Two of my friends were traveling to Paris at that time. It was a news event with a personal connection for many. One of the women in my 8-week program was in her home in Italy, about to fly to Paris for a 24 hour layover before flying to California to spend the holidays with her children. She discussed the decision to go instead of canceling. She wanted to embrace Paris and she refused to be allow fear to hold her back.

This event was personal to many people I know personally and professionally.

I am inundated with information every day. Weather tragedies, murders, domestic violence, rape, terrorist attacks. Births, celebrations, innovation, and personal growth programs. It takes time and I make choices about what I choose to share.

I finally wrote some comments to my friend about his post. I asked him to report and share news events on his Facebook page. I want him to use his personal power to influence us. I encouraged him to post the good, the bad and the ugly about areas of the world where he feels a connection. Raise our awareness. Influence and impact the people around him. Social media is a place to have a voice. I told him: “I want to hear your voice! Please share more. Embrace your political science-journalist self and give it to us!”

So, how do we influence and raise the consciousness and awareness? In this article, Evans Wadango says that we have a lack of understanding about Africa. http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/11/17/456342689/why-didnt-the-world-say-we-are-all-kenyans-last-april

Do you think the world’s reactions to the events in Paris and Kenya were different?

Certainly it’s different. More people are standing up for the French people and trying to support them.

How does that make you feel?

We are definitely feeling there’s more value attached to humanity if a tragedy happens in Europe.

Why do you think that is? Racism?

For certain people it may be a bit of racism, but I also feel it’s a lack of understanding. It’s just that people are so used to negative things coming out of certain parts of the world — of Africa, of Asia, of South America. It’s the norm. People expect bad things to happen. When something bad happens in Europe or the U.S., it’s unusual. If something bad happens in some other part of the world, it’s usual.

*****

We receive information and ideas primarily from our culture, our families and friends. We expand our awareness when we read articles, watch commentary, and form our own opinions. Social media gives us an incredible opportunity. To connect. To touch. To be touched. To influence and impact each other and to witness the beliefs of others. To understand.

It is possible my friend will unfriend me from Facebook. I am sad about that because my intention was to challenge and encourage him to take action instead of blaming the media. I challenge him to Become the Media! Inspire us with ways to change the world. His sports reporting is fun and there is more I want him to share.

How are you choosing to influence, connect and impact others? Do you keep your ideas and opinions to yourself? Where are you connecting in dialogue, questioning, exploring new ideas? Are you a pioneer? Are you stuck in the past? Are you carving a new path?

Are you allowing other people to open your heart, to influence you, to raise your consciousness and your awareness?

I would love to hear from you in the comments.

**********

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Living in Flow: What Turns You On?

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 49 of 100 days of Blogging

Yesterday, I wrote about “Being Used Well by God.”

To hear the guidance from God, one of the keys for me is being in touch with what turns me on. It is a feeling. Other words and questions for the feeling are: What lights you up? Passion, excitement. What gets your attention? Where do you feel connected? When do you feel alive? When do you feel a sensation in your body that connects you to an idea, a passion and guidance to follow God inspiring you?

Recently, here are things I noticed that Turn ME ON:

Writing

Nature

Dialoguing

Human connection

Animal connection

Inspiration and Passion

Living in Flow

Learning new things

Learning new things about old things.

Feeling Everything

Feeling other people feeling

Community Gatherings

Sharing resources and time

A man’s full attention on my body.

Creativity and artistry in the world

Witnessing another person’s passion

Heart centered. Real Authentic moments.

Vulnerability and the connection to Power

How about you? What turns you on?

**********

Posted in Living in Flow

Orgasmic Meditation: Feeling More Sensation

Posted on November 13, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 44 of 100 days of Blogging

One of the benefits of an Orgasmic Meditation Practice is an increase of sensations in your body. It brings an aliveness and a flow of energy.

One moment:

Sitting next to my intimacy research partner on the BART train in San Francisco, I touched his leg and felt the sensation of warmth and electricity. The sensation increased and I noticed my hand had shifted to my own knee. I felt warmth and electricity there, too, and the flow increased throughout my body. I paused.

“Wow! I am so turned on by the sensation in my body. It feels so alive and buzzing and fresh and new.” I told my partner to wait on the kiss. I wanted to feel the buzzing in my own body for another few minutes. Then a kiss from him expanded my heart with a fluttering and I felt a sensation of warm honey flowing through my body.

One moment:

Lunchtime: There was a moment in the restaurant when my hand touched the table top. I felt a zing of electricity and I paused to stroke the table with the palm of my hand.

I felt a shot of electricity and continued to rub my hand on the table for a few minutes. There was an increased sensation flowing in my entire body!

(none of this was drug or alcohol induced!)

One moment:

Having sex with my partner last night. There was a moment when I lightly stroked his butt. I felt an electric zing from my finger to his butt through his hard cock inside of me and pulsed into my pussy. My pussy was swelling and the sensation kept increasing. More sensation than I have ever felt in sex. Pulsing heat and electricity transmitted into my pussy.

One moment:

Sitting side by side on the couch as I am writing this blog, he readjusted his foot and it lightly brushed against my little toe. I felt a zing of electricity move from my foot, up my body, all the way to the top of my head. A flash of an instant and a distinct feeling of connection. My body feels so alive!

Leaving you with that sensation for now. (Even the roof of my mouth is tingling from writing this. Yum!)

What is your experience with sensation in your body?

***********

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Free Your Mind: Going Down the Rabbit Hole

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 42 of 100 days of Blogging

“Going down the rabbit hole in physics terms is how far are you willing to discover your true nature. Example would be, Why are we here? what is the meaning of life? How did we get here? Did we evolve? Were we once part of another world?” ~Wiki Answers

A few years ago, my teenage daughter and I went to 45 Jonas Brothers concerts. 24,000 miles of driving all over the United States and Canada in 11 weeks. When we started the trip, I had enough money for three concerts. I had no idea how we were going to make it to all 45 concerts. We just held the intention and the vision and resources showed up. It was hard to explain to people why we were doing this especially when it was hard.

I knew in my heart and soul that something was compelling me to free my mind, to open to new ideas and possibilities and carve a new path. I used that feeling to tune into my intuition, to access ideas based on experience and to open to new ideas. My daughter and I drove in silence for hours every day and sometimes through the night. In the silence, I tuned into deeper listening.

Resources and people appeared. A friend offered us her home when we were in Denver even though she was in Hawaii. A friend of hers left a key under the front doormat. We stayed with a friend’s relatives in Idaho. We were invited to dinner in Portland, Oregon by Jonas Brother’s lovers who had been reading my daughter’s blog. We were interviewed by several newspaper reporters who found us on-line. The back up band’s bus driver gave us his hotel room at the Hyatt and the Marriott and the Hotel W. Jordin Sparks drummer, Michael Bedard, and I had a random conversation outside the venue one night. An hour long talk about, The Alchemist. He got tickets for us that night. We were hired by a toy company to film JB fans playing with a toy called Bop-it! New ideas. New possibilities every day.

I learned a lot about living in flow that summer. I stayed connected to the music we were listening to in each concert:

Jordin Sparks singing One Step at a Time.“Take one step at a time.”

The Jonas Brothers, Fly with Me. “Now, the past is gone. To give all I can. To believe once again.”

That summer tour opened up even more of my desire to live from inspiration and to create a new life based on what my heart really wanted. We all have so much old conditioning and societal expectations that are deeply ingrained in our minds and bodies. The idea of changing the expected pattern is frightening. It means people won’t like you. Or they will think you are weird. They will shun you from the pack where we no longer feel like we belong.

There are layers of this in Maslow’s chart of self-actualization. We want to belong. And belonging has a certain look to it. My own experience has been a dance of autonomy and following my heart and then finding my way back to try to find some sense of belonging to my original tribe and to the communities of friends. I feel like I have lived my whole life in this place of going down the rabbit hole and disconnecting or living an underground life from my family. Finding like minded people and having experiences then finding a place where I am confident enough in this new experience to reconnect.

“Morpheus: I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.” ~The Matrix

It takes courage to go down the rabbit hole. You would think it would get easier because the people I am closest to would see that I am the same person when I return. Especially because many times they embrace the experience, too. I have influenced new ideas and ways to live life.

But, here’s the truth. The rabbit hole gets deeper. My desires are bigger. Authenticity is primary. Things that bring my heart joy do push the discomfort button for many people. The reward and the reason I do it is the freedom to finally be me. Again and again.

I am still learning to find places to nourish myself when I am in the depths of going into the rabbit hole. I am still learning to come up with a few words and sentences to soothe the fears of my loved ones while I am disappearing for awhile. I am still learning to love myself when I am in the midst of the new.

The only way through it is to dive in and experience the thing that calls to me so deeply. The next rabbit hole.

To the adventure!

“Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.” ~The Course in Miracles.

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #1-#5

Posted on November 3, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 34 of 100 days of Blogging

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New Female OMers #1

“Build a stable of strokers you trust.”

Notes from Andrea: First, I want to say I don’t really like the words “stable of strokers”. It is a trigger for me. I think the male practitioner was using stable to emphasize stability. So, I left it in the original form. Instead of stroker, I have always used OM partner. We are here in partnership. I encourage everyone to use the words that are meaningful for you. I work with the subtle energy of words.

When I first stated OMing, I had a regular Saturday partner for about 4 months. It was rich learning for both of us. We had a regular practice and once we felt solid in the basics, we expanded our connection with some research. (By that time we had other OM trained partners and had OMed over 100 times each) We did things like saying frames throughout the OM; Fifteen minutes of stillness with his finger lightly resting on my clit; A guided OM (he found a recording somewhere) And he was my OM partner for my 28th OM which I wrote about in a book and a blogpost. It is awesome to have a consistent OM partner.

I also lived in a house with a daily OM practice and a few men were there for morning practice regularly. About 8 men who I OMed with all the time. Before I lived in the house, there were 6 OMers who organized a weekly OM circle in someone’s apt. We OMed 3 times. Switching partners. Sometimes we paused after the 2nd OM for a bathroom break, stretching and a short sharing of frames. I learned a lot during that period and the consistency in a community practice. We all lived in the same area and it was convenient to organize and OM.

If you are OMing with one partner, there is a power in OMing on a consistent basis. Try OMing every day for 30 days whether you want to or not. Keep the commitment on the good days and on the bad. Notice what happens when you feel disconnected and you still OM. Notice when you are so hot for each other and you keep the container and OM.

Tips for New Strokers #2

“Protect your privacy. Be meticulous with your name, photos, videos, posts, location, and personal details. Unless you are “out” publicly … offering OM services (coaching or classes) for money, consider using an alias in online OMing groups. The Internet is forever. “

Notes from Andrea: I would also add that even if you feel comfortable sharing this with people, take it slow in posting personal details. There is a lot of sensation and excitement and woo hoo! energy when you first start OMing. Your body system is more open and sensitive. You have no idea the true power of this practice. So, enjoy it. Keep it private for awhile. Share slowly and consciously. And OM!

Tips for New Strokers #3

“Know the OM container. Make sure your strokers are on the same page – before the OM starts.

A PDF from OneTaste about Container and Form

Notes from Andrea: There is a power in the container. It helps a woman’s vigilant center relax. It provides structure and timing for the man. It builds trust. It removes the element of commerce. The container also means you can travel anywhere in the world and find trained OM partners who are doing this practice and you both know what the procedure and protocol is for the practice.

When I was living in California, I posted on the OM Hub that I was looking for OM partners in NYC during a certain time period. A man contacted me and we set up a time after I asked some female OMers if they knew him. I checked to make sure he was a good stroker who followed the OM container. I arrived in NYC. Took the subway to his apartment. He had the nest set up. Offered me the bathroom and water. We OMed twice. I put my pants back on. We arranged another time that week and I left. Clean. Clear. Easy. OM Container held.

If you are in a monogamous OMing relationship, keep the container sacred. If you are going to break it by making out or doing other things, then just have sex. It isn’t an OM and you will not reap the benefits of the practice. It’s okay. Just have sex. 🙂

I am attaching a link in the comments section to an article written by Keith Paolino from OneTaste Austin about breaking the container and how he learned about the importance of it.

Some of his words: “I am deeply committed to the container of the OM, and not just because of my responsibility to my strokee and the dance of Orgasm. I understand that when I hold it, I practice holding the sensation that I’ve built in the OM. That the desire to pull for climax, or trying to get her to make out afterwards is just me trying to dump all of that sensation. When I hold the container solidly, I get to stretch it, pouring a little more sensation in, marveling at how much it can hold without breaking. I get to see how much I can hold, how much electricity I can harness and channel into my desire, my purpose, my life. I remember that an unexpected byproduct of this practice for strokers is cultivating integrity. When I do what I say I will do (follow the steps, stop when time is up), I become a someone trustworthy, dependable, solid. The chaos of the feminine relies of the solid foundation of the masculine to follow Desire.”

The 15 minute container article: http://onetaste.us/the-15-minute-container/

Tips for New Strokers #4

“OM is a community-based practice. Network with other women. Find out who the good strokers are. And the ones women won’t OM with … and why. It is worth developing newbie strokers. However if they exhibit “bad OM manners” … let OneTaste re-train them. You don’t owe [rude] men squat.”

Notes from Andrea: A good stroker gets training, sees OM as a practice, listens and responds to adjustments during the OM, offers adjustments and listens to their partner, holds the OM container, has boundaries, has respect for the strokee, . I have never heard a women “rate” strokers on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10 as far as technique or sexiness, or knowing how to “get them off.” That is not the intention when we say who is a good stroker. This is a practice and we want strokers who hold the space and follow the protocol.

A bad stroker tries to kiss the strokee during the OM (yes, it happened!), uses words like, “Oh, baby, you are so hot”, violates the container, treats the OM as commerce for sex, doesn’t have a nest and supplies when I arrive to OM, regularly breaks OM appts, does not listen to my adjustments during the OM and has his own agenda.

I would love to hear from other OMers to see what your experiences have been with good strokers and bad strokers and OMing in community.

Tips for New Strokers #5

‘Experience’ is no longer a safe measure. Reports of “experienced” strokers ‘hustling’ women and poaching on containers have increased. Ask questions. Listen to your body. Lechers tend to broadcast themselves. Back in the old days … a group of women would have called them out … publicly. They would either get additional training … or know that no woman in the community would OM with them.”

Notes from Andrea: Again, this is the power of community. Keep your eyes open and stay connected to your intuition and hunches. Accountability comes from all of us telling the truth and calling people out on their lack of integrity. It is one of the powers of OM Circles, community potlucks, OM practice club, additional training, Women Circles and Men Circles. Stay connected to the community and share experiences with each other.

AND LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!

Next Week: Tips #6-#10

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Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

I Believe in YOU!

Posted on November 1, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 32 of 100 days of blogging

Tomorrow begins a 21 day meditation series with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. Become What You Believe. If you listen to the daily meditations within a few days of posting each day, the meditations are free. Or you can purchase them and listen to them whenever you want to.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/

I am fascinated about the timing of this topic because Believe is my word for November. I have been seeing it everywhere. Bumper stickers, Books, Songs, Store windows and in random conversations. Okay, Universe, I get it! I am listening and I claimed it as my focus for November.

BELIEVE!

We are all motivated by different things. Positive or negative strokes that give us hope and wake us up. I need the upstrokes and some hurdles to stretch myself and take action. To stretch into the next thing that is calling me to expand who I am.

Believe Definition: to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.

Yes! That’s it.

Here is a running stream of quotes and songs for inspiration as we enter this month of November together:

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Claus. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will? ~Jon Bon Jovi

Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it. ~Diane Sawyer

Believe in infinite possibilities.

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Now for some music.

Enjoy!

I’m a Believer: Monkees

Music: When You Believe Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

Share your own BELIEVE Inspirations in the Comments!

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in Inspiration

Living in Flow: Clues and Initiation

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Webmaster Leave a comment

Day 29 of 100 days of blogging.

To read the first blog in this series of Living in Flow: Tuning In

On the train to Santa Barbara, I found myself taking a deep, deep breath and releasing a level of tension I didn’t realize I was carrying. I needed a time of recovery after the whirlwind of the year and packing a storage unit and 2 suitcases for the road.

I hung out with my friend Lucky Sweeny, the co-founder of Evolutionary Women, an astrologer and a coach. I spent time meditating, processing, sleeping, getting an updated astrology report on my year and a Pleiadian reading from Lucky.

It was here that I received my first clue of what the year would hold. During the next year, at each location there would be an initiation that would come in the form of an experience, a blessing, or a spotlight on one of my talents and skills and wisdom. A song, words from a person, a memory. The clues would remind me of who I am and point me in the next direction.

The connection to my intuition gave me a sense of knowing what was next. None of this was based on my logical, linear mind. It was a feeling and it required trust. All I needed to do was keep my eyes and ears open and feel it when it arrived.

Initiation:

The definition of Initiation: the act of starting something : the beginning of something; the condition of being initiated into some experience or sphere of activity.

Santa Barbara: Altar Initiation

There was an altar with powerful, spiritual women. I slept on the futon in the living room with the altar pointed towards the top of my head. My crown chakra. The first night, I was sound asleep and I heard a loud clap that sent a sharp, shaking tremor through my body from head to toe. Just one clap and then silence. I fell right back to sleep. In the morning, Lucky told me I had received a blessing called: Shakti Pat from Gurumayi.

Santa Cruz: A younger woman’s words

After spending a week with my friend Tomas, helping him with social media platforms; Eating great food from the Farmer’s Market, OMing every day in morning circle, receiving a full body massage and resting, I packed my bags and headed to one more OM circle.

Initiation: A young woman said, “Next time you are in town, I want to sit at your feet and listen. You are carving a path for the next part of my life. I am learning from you.”

Flew to Baltimore.

Baltimore: A man’s words and gratitude

Initiation: Orgasmic Meditation training and coaching

His words: “You have opened a doorway to connect to a deeper part of myself”

Bus to New York

New York: A younger woman’s words.

Initiation: “I am grateful for your existence in the world. You are an amazing person. We have so much to learn from you”

Plane to Sweden

Sweden: A younger woman’s words

Initiation: “Look around the room. See all the women who are part of this community. Thank you for starting the Heal My Voice projects. Look at the impact you are having around the world.”

Initiation of Mastery and doors opening that were pointing me to the next steps in my life. In New York, San Francisco, Baltimore, Washington, DC. San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and Los Angeles. Clues and desires awakening in me. On puzzle piece at a time.

According to the Genome Flow Project, this is one of the cycles of Flow. The area of struggle. I was traveling, working, listening, asking questions and one piece at a time was appearing. This organization I had started in 2011 called Heal My Voice was impacting women and families and communities and businesses around the world. I was being called into owning my wisdom and experience and encouraged to become more visible in the world. To share what I have learned and to claim areas of Mastery.

When I arrived in Sweden, I was questioning if I would continue with Heal My Voice. Was I complete? And then the passion from the women in Heal My Voice Sweden and the dedication of Marie Ek Lipanovska, founder of Heal My Voice Sweden were all encouraging me to continue. I said yes to continue and to co-lead the next book program with Marie. To create a bridge between our countries. We began in October 2014. When I arrived back in the United States, I discovered that Heal My Voice had received tax exempt status. Time to move forward and look for the next clues.

One question was how my training and experience with Orgasmic Meditation was going to evolve or fizzle. I taught 35 people how to OM during that year. But how to integrate all of these different pieces. All I could do was stay open to the question and to wait.

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Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire. was the project and it was published in June 2015.

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen, Living in Flow

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