Tag Archives: Adventure

Intuition: Cultivating and Trusting Your Inner Voice

Originally published in On Purpose Woman: May 2019

(Illustration: Stefanie Weigele)

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“It’s time to move.” Those words, communicated to me in a feeling, stopped me in my tracks. I asked, out loud, to no one in particular, “Am I moving?” I had been living in a house with seven people for ten months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and loving my bedroom. I hadn’t really thought about moving.

The day I first heard the words, I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicates with me.

When I asked the questions, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer. An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, up my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week, continuing the conversation with myself by asking, “Are we all moving? Are we moving together or separately? If I don’t live here, where will I live? Where do I want to live?” My intuition was on radio silence. The only piece of information was that same feeling, that I would be moving. So, I paused and reflected on what actions I would be taking if I knew that I was going to move. I knew I would go through all of my physical possessions. Everything I had in my bedroom, in the house and in my small storage unit in Los Angeles. I would want to de-clutter before moving to a new location. And that is exactly what I did. For the next month, I went through everything I owned. I got rid of 14 boxes of stuff, eight bags of clothes and recycled three boxes of paper.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. My intuition had guided me to take action in preparation. I was ready. There were numerous conversations as a household. In the end, we all dispersed: four people stayed in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. The guidance was to have conversations, to live life, to finish three on-line projects and to collect ideas and wisdom, for the next step. I wanted to remember the beginning of Heal My Voice, where we started, and reflect on what was next.

 

Some of the keys of cultivating intuition are:

 

  1. Create space to listen. Meditation, walk in nature, drive or cook your meals in silence. Your intuition requires empty, silent space.
  2. Pay attention. When you get a feeling, a knowing, or when you hear words or feel a ripple of energy, acknowledge your intuition by asking questions or writing down the insight.
  3. Take baby steps before you have the whole picture. Everything will be revealed in time. What’s the next step?
  4. Intuition will bring connections, gifts, surprises. Let people help you.

 

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy, nomad and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, fear and judgement in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in an adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice, open to where I would be led next. Trusting that I would be guided.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first, I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend, Lucky Sweeny, and wondered about the possibility of staying with her for five days in Santa Barbara. I had a class to attend in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me unexpectedly. She had been thinking about me and wanted to check in. I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how the timing was perfect. And that is how it began. I had breakfast with my daughter, Hannah, then boarded a train in Burbank and took one step.

Five years later, I am still living house-free and living in the mystery of what is next. After living with Heal My Voice authors and family and friends, during the first year, I have now expanded to a membership with Trusted Housesitters, a free exchange of housing and office space for pet sitting. This  gives me the space to write and coach on Zoom and explore creativity. Living with friends and family is my connection and community.

What’s next? All will be revealed when it is time.

 

 

I leave you with a few questions to explore:

 

*How do you receive guidance from your intuition?

 

*What practices do you use to create empty space?

 

*Write about a time when you experienced guidance from your intuition.

 

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Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com

An Experiential Life: What are you waiting for?

Day 95 of 100 days of Blogging

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It was a warm, sunny August day when we gathered with our relatives at the local water park. I spent most of the day in the kiddie pool and lazy river with our five year old daughter and seven year old niece. That was fine with me. I liked the rhythm of the slow, lazy river and I was content and happy to be there. All of the older kids and adults were in the bigger pools and slides.

As I meandered around the lazy river, I had glimpses of the biggest water slide in the park. A desire started to bubble in me as I watched the older kids and adults go down the biggest slide. It looked like they were all having so much fun and something inside of me began to yearn for the experience. Every time the thought came up I pushed it down with my inner dialogue of fears and doubts.

 

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Inner Dialogue between my full self and my limited self:

“I am happy in the lazy river.”

“Wheeee, look how happy Mary is.”

“She likes the water. You would hate getting water in your face and up your nose.”

“Ah, look. Elizabeth is waving to me from the top of the slide! I want to do that.”

“You are afraid of heights. It is too high up there. You will feel dizzy. It won’t be fun.”

 

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At the end of the day, I was packing up all of our belongings to head home and at the same time I was noticing the dwindling crowd of people waiting in line for the slide.

When I packed up the last items, something burst in me. I dropped the bags of towels I was carrying and I declared to the group that I had to go down the slide. I couldn’t leave until I did it. I stepped out of my flip flops, threw off my sundress to reveal my bathing suit underneath and before anyone could say or do anything, I walked over to the inner tubes, grabbed one and walked quickly up the flight of stairs to the top of the slide.

At this time of day, there were only a few people in line. My heart was pounding so loud in my chest I thought it would explode.  The fears and doubts were getting quieter and my YES!! was a sound that was screaming in my head.  I had to go down this slide or I would regret it forever. I asked the attendant to help me with the inner tube and hold on until I was ready to go down. Then with a simple command of Now, he gave me a good swift push and down I went.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Round and round I went. Happy mixed with a little fear and finally a sense of freedom. As I neared the bottom of the slide, I held my breath and my nose and closed my eyes preparing for the final big SPLASH!

 

Exhilarated and triumphant, I found my way to the edge of the pool, ran over to my family and prepared to leave the park. Everyone cheered as I wiped myself off with a towel grinning ear to ear.

That moment of pushing through the fear and the experience of triumph is now a touchstone. It is an experience I carry with me when I can feel a bubbling desire and the inner dialogue of my limited self is stopping me. I ask myself what would have happened if I hadn’t gone down the slide. What would my memory of that day have been? Instead of a place of limiting me, it opened up the door to listening to desires and feelings and my intuition.

 

Do you have a bubbling desire? Is there a voice inside of you filling you with hesitation and doubts and fears? What would it take for you to make one step towards it or to take a leap?

What are waiting for?

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Writing Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Before I Die…I want to Live!

Day 86 of 100 days of blogging

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“I have seen many depressions and other chronic suffering at whose source was the repression and denial of a strong, creative urge.” ~Carolyn Myss

I saw a photo on Facebook with the words Before I Die…and it stirred something in me. I was wondering why there is so much emphasis on what we want to do before we die instead of how to live a rich, creative and fulfilling life.

I hear the word Bucket List a lot these days. Bucket List: a list of things that one has not done before but wants to do before dying.

 

I read one list of 50 things to do before you die and it had things like:

1. Go on a road trip

2. Sleep under the stars

3. Watch all the movies everyone is talking about

4. Make something from scratch

5. Conquer a fear

6. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

As I read through the list, I thought, aren’t people already doing these things? If not, then what are they doing? How are they using their time on the planet? Is it possible that someone would die without volunteering their time somewhere?

I know that some bucket lists include things with boundary pushing, adventure like skydiving, bungie jumping, walking the Great Wall of China. Yes, I understand that.  When I read those lists, I can see that the things on the list are probably connected to conquering a fear or following a deep passion for the adventure.

The thing I am also noticing on the lists is how people hold themselves back without living a life of creative expression. Holding themselves back because their family or friends might not approve. Holding themselves back because they have a belief that this idea doesn’t make sense in the big picture of their lives. Holding themselves back because they are afraid to be the fullest expression of themselves.

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“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
Mary Oliver

So,maybe it is death that motivates us to actually live our lives. We lose a loved one. We get older and know that we will die eventually. Maybe it is the idea of dying that inspires us to make choices from our soul. To let go of doing what we think we are supposed to be doing and actually LIVE!

 

The Inspiration for the walls Before I die…:

After losing someone she loved and experiencing deep depression, artist Candy Chang created an interactive wall on an abandoned house in her neighborhood to create an anonymous place to help restore perspective and share intimately with neighbors while remaining an introvert. After receiving permission, she painted the side of an abandoned house in her neighborhood in New Orleans with chalkboard paint and stenciled it with a grid of the sentence, “Before I die I want to _______.” Anyone walking by could pick up a piece of chalk, reflect on their lives, and share their personal aspirations in public space.

http://beforeidie.cc/site/about/

 

As I read the words on some of the walls, I was struck by how powerful it would be, if each person set an intention with their words and took one step closer to making that happen.

Tell my mother I love her

Have some Fun.

Dance

Get Clean

Change the World

 

I wondered…

What would it take for you to LIVE now?

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Phase Transition: Make Space and Let Yourself BE Empty

Day 74 of 100 days of Blogging

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There was a moment yesterday when I could see and feel the changes that are happening in my life. And in that moment I felt a little empty like the train had arrived at the station, dropped off all of the passengers and everything stopped. The conductor (me) pulled out the map and sat there figuring out what to do next.

I have arrived at the station after six months of releasing and allowing the space to be empty; To BE instead of DO. I see the beginning of the next phase. More glimpses of what I have been working toward creating. Balance of family, play, work, relationships.

This is one phase of the process of change. I have been through this so many times at different intervals in my life and this is what I notice in this type of phase transition, change and the in-between space:

*I begin to have new or reawakened awareness.

*I make some changes in my life. I experience frustration from some people in my life when I am in this period of change because I am uncomfortable when people ask me questions and I don’t have the answers. They mirror my internal discomfort. Or I notice that when I plan a weekend of pleasure, someone in my life has a crisis and there is an expectation that I need to stop everything to help them, even though they have other people who can help. I am torn between being a good friend or mother or daughter. In that moment, I am in a dilemma of what choice to make. Do I choose to focus on my own needs and desires or put everyone else first. It is uncomfortable and can feel restrictive. I can feel myself frustrated and angry.

*And then it happens, the changes begin to happen and I have what I want. Or I have the beginning of what I want. I have made some changes. People around me have adjusted. I am in a new stream of flow. I know when to help someone or when to practice my own self-care.

*Now, it is up to me.

*Am I going to sabotage the new way of being in subtle or obvious ways? Am I going to do things to pull people into the space where I just got free? Or can I sit in the stillness? In the unknown, uncertainty, unfamiliar space and slow down. Feel what it feels like to be in this next space and continue to let it unfold.

*I remind myself in this phase to stay empty.

*Fill myself slowly and consciously.

 

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An example of a day:

I had a whole day to focus on myself. No appointments or schedules. A day when I could tune in and let my intuition guide me to play, rest, work, have an adventure. Infinite possibilities and choices in this present moment.

I started by connecting with people in the house in Brooklyn where I was staying during my visit to NYC. There were five additional guests for two nights. We ate breakfast together and shared some of the details of our lives.

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One of the women asked me about my coaching fees. She is a screenwriter who was hired to write a script for a film. She is experiencing some writer’s block and wanted to work with a coach to connect to the soul of the film. After a brief conversation, she hired me for three sessions and sent me the script draft. We will focus on story development and the connection to the soul; one of the things I LOVE to do in coaching.

After breakfast, I wanted to write and read and hang out in coffee shops and bookstores in Brooklyn and the East or West Village in New York. So, I googled coffee shops and picked the first destination.

I had a conversation with my oldest daughter and let her know I was available to babysit at their home in Queens in the evening so she and her husband could have some time together. We decided to connect later about the timing. I offered because I like to spend time with my granddaughter and it felt like the last time I could offer babysitting in the next few days before going back to Washington, DC.

Text from my daughter: Thanks for the offer. I am going into the city. I need to check with Jesse after he auditions the directors. Will let you know later this afternoon.

 

Now, it is late afternoon. I have several desires. The Strand Bookstore. A coffee shop in West Village. Regal Cinema in Union Square. I find myself moving in slow motion. I am not clear on my desire. I go slower so I can listen and feel connected to what I really want. I stand in the Regal Cinema lobby looking at the film choices and timing. I want to see The Danish Girl but if I babysit, it doesn’t look like I will have time. After ten minutes of standing there in uncertainty, I decide to move onto the busy, streets of New York.

The Strand Bookstore is in the next block. It is packed. Holiday and weekend shopping. I slowly walk up and down the aisles and move back onto the street. Too crowded. Not the right place for me today.

I walk around the block. Feeling. Thinking. Noticing. Letting myself feel empty and uncertain. I am in unfamiliar territory. It is a new place inside of me. A bubbling well that must be emptied to cultivate the next…

The key to discover the next path is to slow down.

I pause in front of a story and remember I have been craving pizza for a week. I feel a Yes inside of me. I notice the store right next to me is called Pie by the Pound. A restaurant that specializes in gluten free pizza. I pause for a moment and stand there checking within to feel my desire before going inside. I choose 4 different kinds of pizza. 4 small rectangular slices. Eat slowly. Enjoy this new experience. Gluten free, flat pizza. I eat until I am full then save the rest for later.

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I look at the movie choices at the Regal Cinema again on my iPhone. Brooklyn is the next film showing. I am staying in Brooklyn so my curiosity piques. Film Description: An Irish immigrant in 1950s New York. She moves to America for an opportunity. When something happens at home in Ireland, she returns and must face a choice to stay in her old life in Ireland or return to her new life in America.

I feel a synchronicity. Letting go of the old. Making room for the new.

I purchase my movie ticket. Get settled in my seat and just as I reach to turn off my phone, I see a text from my sister: “Spoke to Dad this afternoon. He is so happy to be home. They had a health care professional visit and Dad is able to get all of the services he needs. He was really excited and happy. The health care person went around the house and made sure it was all safe for him.”

There is a moment when I feel I am not needed and I feel a loss. It is a blip on my emotional screen. I notice it. A moment of feeling: what is my value in the family if I am not there? I take a deep breath. Appreciate that I am connected to my family and that I do not have to be the caretaker. I CAN live my life and create new experiences. I CAN schedule time for me and know that everyone else is already cared for!

The film was perfect. I can feel it deeply. I recognize the feelings of letting go of one place to receive the next place.

Text from my daughter: Mom, thanks for the offer. We are exhausted from the auditions today. Jesse and Lucille sound asleep.

Another blip of loss. I am not needed. And then I feel the freedom.

 

It is 8pm on a Saturday night and I am in NYC with crazy, drunk Santa’s running around. Literally, throngs of people dressed up in the masculine and feminine versions of Santa with costumes, hats and bells. I walk slowly. I notice how other people are spending their Saturday night. Two drunk people weaving down the street brush up against me. Couples laughing and hugging. Groups of women with full shopping bags. Families huddled together, holding hands. A motor home with Hanukkah songs playing music on speakers intermingled with Christmas music. A police mobile station and people inside with ice packs on their heads.

This is a new beginning for me. What do I want to do right now?

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I see THINK Coffee and decide to get a latte. Be silent. Reflect on my life before children. Reflect on my life before marriage. Reflect on the new desires that are emerging.

I dive into reading the yummy script of my new client.

I notice I am happy.

Me. NYC. Latte. Reading and writing in a little nook in THINK Coffee. Doing exactly what I want to be doing and being, right now.

After a few hours, I walk 1.3 miles to the M Train, choosing to walk instead of riding another train and transferring. The weather is gorgeous. NYC feels so good. I feel so good.

I arrive back in Brooklyn around midnight. Ten minutes later the house is filled with people arriving back from a class and dinner.

Briefly checking in with people before heading downstairs to my bedroom. Climbing into bed with a smile on my face.

The end of a New Day.

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Wandering: The Alchemist

Day 73 of 100 days of Blogging

Today is a day of wandering. Sitting in silence. Listening for an inspiration. Asking the question: What does my soul want to experience today?

After a morning of reading, connecting with housemates and writing, I felt the inspiration to spend the day in several coffee shops.

First stop is The Swallow Cafe, 49 Bogart Street, Brooklyn, New York. East Williamsburg area.

Local community. Great coffee. Place is booming with conversation and creativity.

I feel inspired…so, here it is…

The inspiration is for me to start writing a book. It is not a new idea. I have many books on Amazon that were co-created with women in Heal My Voice programs. I have many drafts of several books. The bubbling idea at the moment is to look back at the reams of personal writing and create my own book. Create space and time for writing it. The whispers are getting louder.

I spent the evening with a writer last night. In the cafe now, I find myself rewinding and reviewing the conversation in my mind. I begin by opening a new word document and reading my writing, exploring any hints or clues about what I want to express.

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I came across a blogpost I wrote from a concert tour I went on with my teenage daughter during the summer of 2009. A spontaneous conversation with a drummer, Mike Bedard who was on tour with Jordin Sparks. A moment when I saw him outside the concert venue and I took the time to reach out and tell him how much I enjoyed watching him perform. When I shared that this was the 42nd concert on our adventure that summer, he asked if I had read The Alchemist. An hour later, we finished our conversation and his manager found some free tickets for my daughter and me. An unexpected offer and gift.

I am inspired once again by The Alchemist. Wondering if there is a story for me to share…

Screen Shot 2015-12-12 at 2.27.45 PMWords from Wikipedia that pop out at me today:

*It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish

*…whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe.

*It’s your mission on Earth.

 

I connect with those words and let them simmer as I pack up my bags.

Hopping on the L train in Brooklyn and heading to a bookstore in the East Village for more inspiration:

The Strand…

 

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Here is a brief description of a part of, “The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo,” as summarized in Wikipedia.

“Central to the novel is the concept of a Personal Legend. Santiago first learns of one’s Personal Legend from The King of Salem, who tells him “It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.”[10] He expounds on this, saying “…there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.”[10] The King also tells Santiago of the importance of following the omens on the journey to realizing one’s personal legend. Coelho follows this advice himself; he will only start writing a book after finding a white feather.[11]

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Setting Intentions: Using Tools, Containers and Numbers

Day 70 of 100 days of Blogging

My oldest daughter, Mary, and I are Fitbit Crazy!

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Fitbit has different products for tracking activities. We both wear a wristband and use the App on our phone and computer to see the daily (or hourly) progression of information. Primarily, I use it for recording the number of steps I walk every day. I have it set to a 10,000 step goal because, “10,000 steps a day is a rough equivalent to the Surgeon General’s recommendation to accumulate 30 minutes of activity most days of the week. It should be enough to reduce your risk for disease and help you lead a longer, healthier life. The benefits are many:  lower BMI, reduced waist size, increased energy, and less risk for Type II diabetes and heart disease.  In fact, a recent study of the 10,000 steps a day method reported conclusive health benefits.” ~From a Blogpost on the Fitbit site

https://blog.fitbit.com/the-magic-of-10000-steps/

I purchased a Fitbit last May after a long winter of sitting at a table 12 hours a day. Computer work. On-line business. Coaching calls on SKYPE. Heal My Voice project editing and taxes and phone meetings. I had gained 20 lbs in a year of living on the road and I could feel how weak and out of shape my body felt. To get my body moving with a daily goal and to raise my awareness about how much I was moving, or not, I purchased my first Fitbit. Seeing the number of steps throughout the day encouraged me to take an extra walk, jump around and exercise so I could reach the 10,000 or more steps.

My daughter Mary purchased her Fitbit in August. She knew her life was changing. After leaving a job and traveling internationally with Dramatic Adventure Theatre for two months, she arrived home in New York to a new lifestyle; staying at home with her two year old. She knew she would have to become more conscious of going for walks and exercising and she was also curious to see how many steps she was actually moving.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 4.10.14 PMAt Thanksgiving, Mary challenged me to the Daily Challenge on the Fitbit app. It is set up in a way to encourage and inspire each other to meet the daily goal we each set. Throughout the day, Fitbit sends us each messages to cheer each other on. Mary and I send each other cheers and support and ideas to help us meet our goals. We send suggestions like, have a dance party, walk to the labyrinth, walk the track a few more laps.

The power of the Fitbit has also brought more awareness to eating and drinking water and sleeping. Overall self-care.

Mary and I were talking about the power of having a tool that measures our progress. More than a goal I see it as an intention. My intention is to take better care of my body and Fitbit is a tool that has been working for us both.

There are other ways I have used tools, containers and numbers to set and hold intentions. When I decided to write 100 blogposts in 100 days, my intention was to see what topics I was interested in writing about and to see where people wanted to engage with me on topics. My intention is to use the writing as a tool of exploration. I use the app Notes on my computer to record ideas and I set the intention of using 100 days as a way to go deeper, to uncover more layers, to stay focused and conscious.

When I hosted 44 radio shows in 44 days in 2010, my intention was to raise awareness and to provide support for people who were grieving during the holidays. I used a flip chart to list all of the dates and filled in topics and guests. The flip chart, the commitment to showing up every day for 44 days stretched me.

Setting an intention. Using tools. Defining a container of time and using numbers.

It works!

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Reclaiming Personal Power: I am a Work of Art

Day 54 of 100 days of Blogging
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A few years ago, I was renting a car at a rental agency when the man behind the counter began to flirt with me. It was overt and so obvious, it took me surprise.He leaned across the counter and with a sultry, flirty voice said, “Your husband must be so happy coming home to you every night.”
Me: (nervous laughter) I don’t have a husband. He died.
Him: “Well, Your boyfriend must be so happy coming home to you every night.”
Me: (nervous laughter) I don’t have a boyfriend.
Me: Okay, that’s it. Could you get the car, please?
He shrugged and went outside to get the car. Handed me the keys and I was out of there.
In the car, I was still nervously laughing and at the same time I felt like I had been slimed. I was so caught off guard. Not “off my game” because I had no “game.” I had been a widow for eight years, and in monogamous relationships for most of my adult life. Normally when I was renting a car, I had my kids with me. I hadn’t experienced that kind of flirting for a long time.
So, here is this man totally coming on to me. Overtly flirting and licking his lips every time he spoke to me. Me with my vigilance up and nervous laughing and finally in the car feeling like What! I can not believe this man was being so weird and flirty and unprofessional with me.
 Screen Shot 2013-11-29 at 12.20.41 PM
When I returned the car a few days later, he was there again and I decided to claim my power. I was wearing baggy clothes, had messed up hair, no make-up and still he starts flirting. As he got into the car to check the mileage, he looked me up and down. I thought to myself, don’t let him shut you down. I silently declared, I am a work of Art and he is in full appreciation of me.
While sitting in the car and me standing in full view, he gave me another slow, slow long look.
Starting at my feet, moving up through my legs, knees, thighs, pausing on my pussy, he licked his lips. Continuing up my body, he looked at my breasts, licked his lips again, kept moving until his eyes met mine. I stayed open energetically and physically, kept his gaze and said, “So what is your desire?”
He looked away and mumbled, “I want to rub your feet.”
Haha! Funny.
I kept my body open. I was in a safe place. Daylight. I claimed my space. No shriveling this time.

I invited him to a Onetaste event in Downtown LA. I did not desire him. I desired to stay fully in my power, my sexuality and this “inappropriate and unprofessional” man was not going to diminish me. I challenged him to actually connect, to stop playing this game of intimidation and take action.
I gave him the organizer’s email address to RSVP to the event. When the organizer told me he sent the RSVP, I thought, Oh, no! Well, there would be 100 people there and I would introduce him as the guy from the rental agency. If he had a desire for connection, there were many women at this event. He would have been embraced if he wanted to join the community, learn to OM and to grow into his true desire. He did not show up. Or if he did, I didn’t see him.
This man was a gift to me. I had an aversion to him. He was creepy. I was not physically attracted to him. A few months later, I did a talk at a Women’s Conference about claiming the essence of our sexuality, connected to personal power and money generating. I made $1000 that day. I started working with more clients. That interaction changed me.
It expanded me as a person and uncovered more of my personal power and desire.
*Note: Aversion to me means that someone feels like sandpaper to me. It can be a trigger. They can feel uncomfortable, creepy. I can feel unsafe. It is an opportunity to look at my shadow, set boundaries, explore my desire. Aversion is a feeling to me and the person is a gift to what I can learn and feel and expand within myself.
 It’s all about me, baby. The good, the bad and the ugly. My personal growth.
I am using it all!
**********
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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Music Inspiration Oct 18, 2015

Day 18 of 100 days of blogging

Music Inspires me and it is a clue to my inner world. The songs I want to play over and over. I feel the music in my body and soul and it leads me to transform with the energy in the song. The songs are playing in my mind and pulsing through my body. I take a walk every day and feel the new me that is emerging.

 

My theme songs this week are:

I’m a Grown Woman by Beyonce

Confident by Demi Lovato

 

*****

I made a few decisions in the last few weeks to follow more of my life desires in work and my personal life. It started on my 59th Birthday. I took the day for myself in New York City instead of spending it with my daughter and granddaughter. I was there for a week with them and I wanted the day for me. To explore. To connect with adults. New and old friends. I feel this incredible freedom to be me and to embrace my grown woman self. To do what I want to because I can!

*****

Beyonce singing, “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want,”

 

 

After spending three days posting in The New Masculine Community on Facebook, I feel an incredible power pulsing through me. My voice is so grounded and clear and powerful. My Power. Not power over the men and women in the group. Power to listen, feel and speak. My Voice. And then I heard this song.

 

 

What song is giving you a clue about your life right now? A music inspiration!

 

Post in the comments and tell us why.

 

******

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Living in Flow: Tuning In

Day 15 of 100 days of Blogging

IMG_1720Los Angeles. March 2014.

I had been living in a community house for 10 months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and my bedroom in the garage apartment. I wanted to live there forever.

One day I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicated with me. I stopped and asked the question, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer.

An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, down my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week. When I didn’t receive any other “signs” or “messages”, I decided to take some action by going through my 10 x 10 storage unit and everything in my apartment space.

IMG_1689Over the next six weeks, I lived my life and in between daily work and play, I reviewed every piece of paper and every thing I owned. At the end of the six weeks, I gave away 14 boxes of personal belongings and 6 bags of clothes.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. There were numerous conversations as a household and with individuals who felt aligned for the next living space. The ten of us finally dispersed to move into three different places in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. To have conversations, to live life, to finish incomplete projects and to collect ideas, wisdom, for the next step.

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, and fear in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in another adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice to expand my business and to discover the next steps. I was open to where I would be led to learn and discover new things about myself and about the world. I needed time to integrate all of the changes over the last nine years and to be ready for the next steps. At each location, I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone, to be in the present moment, to listen and learn and speak when inspired.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend Lucky Sweeny and the possibility of staying with her for 5 days in Santa Barbara. I knew I had a class in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me spontaneously and I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how perfect the timing was. The rest of the month she would be busy or out of town.

During the next week, I began to have feelings and a sense of inner knowing about the general location.

June: Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, San Franciscoo

July: East Coast

August: Sweden

September: East Coast

October-December: West Coast

I made a few calls. Stated my feelings and desire. Received invitations with open arms and enthusiasm and packed my bags.

On June 1, 2014 I stood outside of my community house at 6am, taking a moment of gratitude and then climbed into my daughter’s car for a ride to the train station in Burbank. And so began a year of living in flow on the road…

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

You Decide: Choices Create Your Life

Day 10 of 100 days of blogging

Queens, New York

October 10, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.00.26 PMWatching Bob’s Burgers with my granddaughter Lucille this morning, I was inspired to write a blog about the episode when it is Linda’s birthday. Linda is the Mom. (Episode is called Eat, Spray Linda. Season 5. Episode 18)

Linda wakes up remembering it is her birthday. She tries to bury her head under the pillow and stay in bed to avoid the day. When the family tells her they are working on a surprise and she has to leave the house, Linda goes out to the grocery store where a series of mishaps occur. Keys locked in car with her cell phone and purse. Pants rip in the butt. No one in the grocery store will help her. Catches a bus going in the wrong direction. Sprayed by a skunk twice. It is a day of total chaos and Linda digs deep and conquers one challenge after another.

At the end of the day, bathing in a tub filled with tomato juice, her husband (Bob) tells her, ” Sorry your birthday was horrible.” She says, “Hey! Don’t be sorry. This was the best birthday ever!” She goes on to tell him that this is a new tradition. “Every year on my birthday, you blindfold me. Drop me off at a location with no cell phone and no money and I have to find my way home.”

I love Linda! She has this way of seeing the sunshine in adversity. Linda made the best of the chaotic situation and ignited a part of her that had been dormant. She came alive!

What if we all embraced adversity and challenges with this exuberance? What could we create in our lives and in the world?

 

You Decide.

The show reminded me of something I shared in the 30 days of writing program for this month:

It may feel like you have had no choice at different times in your life. You didn’t decide your life circumstances. You had another plan and it looked nothing like this! You may feel as if you lost control of your life. And at the same time you still have choices. You get to decide who you are going to be in this moment. You get to decide how you are going to respond and to be in the moment of what is happening.

On the community call yesterday I talked about my son and the power of the gifts I learned from his birth and his death and his illness. He was my teacher. Twenty-two years later, I continue to reach into that bag of gifts over and over. I may have moments of sadness. That’s okay. When someone you love dies, you will have moments of sadness. Even twenty years later. Reaching into that time period also reminds me of things that were revealed about who I really am.

When we are presented with challenges, we can find the gifts.

I first found out about my son’s heart condition when I was seven months pregnant with him and I was driving to drop off a report for a consulting job. When I got off the cell phone, I started pounding on the steering wheel and crying out in pain. Why God? Why me? Why him? Haven’t I had enough challenges in this lifetime? More than my fair share? Why, why, why?

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.44.29 PMAfter a few hours of feeling like this, I made a decision. I am powerless over this situation and I can still take charge of my life. I decided I was here to support my son and I would cross- stitch angels. Every stitch would be a prayer. It would be a blessing to Cooper, to our family and friends, to everyone who we would meet. In the 19 months of his life, I cross stitched elaborate angels with tiny, tiny stitches and big, big prayers.

This is actually how you change and transform. You are presented with a life experience and YOU DECIDE who you are going to be. Then you practice it. Over and over until one day you are transformed. Caterpillar to butterfly.

 

New Perspectives

Like Linda on Bob’s Burgers and the challenges she had on her birthday or the experiences we all have when we feel powerless or out of control, we have a choice. To embrace the experience and find out new things about ourselves or to shut down and give up.

I encourage you to get a new perspective and challenge yourself. You never know what surprises are laying within you!

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

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