Orgasmic Meditation Archives

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Orgasmic Meditation: Why I OM- Part 2

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 79 of 100 days of Blogging

Health benefits are one of the reasons I OM. Physical and Emotional. After spending last week in New York and OMing every day again, I became even more aware of it. Things like singing all the time. Singing is one of the things I do when I am most connected to my self and I am happy. I was singing out loud as I walked through the streets of New York.

Some of the things I have noticed over the last three years of practicing OM:

*More energy

*Better sleep

*Happier

*Grounded

*Feeling Connected to people everywhere

*Healthy weight for my body

*More clarity when I want to speak in a group

*Ability to hold a wider range of emotions and feelings, which leads to…

*Easier to witness another person’s pain and process without needing to fix anything, which leads to…

*Better relationships with family and friends and the strength and ability to coach and lead my business.

Below are some of the benefits reported by other practitioners of OM.

If you are interested in learning how to OM, go to this link for the most up to date classes in Washington, DC

Practitioners of OM Have Reported The Following Benefits:

Increases Overall Vitality. It lights you up from the inside out.
Increases Overall TurnON. When you’re TurnedON, things flow.
Increases Energy. There’s a well of energy that lives inside of you.
Increases libido. You’ll want sex more.
Reduces stress & irritability.
Increases ability to feel and know desire. You’ll be clear on what you want.
Lengthens orgasmic pleasure during intercourse. Yes, that “Place” extends.
Increases confidence with your body & in the bedroom.
Gain skills of concentration & attention.
Addresses chronic dissatisfaction. TurnON alters dissatisfaction.
Increases intimacy with your partner. OM creates more communication.
You will communicate better & feel more connected.

Source: http://onetaste.us/what-is-om/

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Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation: Why I OM

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 71 of 100 days of Blogging

I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a (wo)man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a (wo)man? ~Zhuangzi

My adventure with Orgasmic Meditation has been just like that. The 15 minute partnered practice has awakened parts of me that have been asleep. Through the light, gentle stroking of my clitoris, I wonder sometimes if I am the woman or the butterfly or dreaming. It is a powerful practice. For those of us who have been doing it for 3 years, 5 years, 10 years… it still feels weird sometimes.

What is OM Blogpost

January 19, 2013:

My first OM felt like I was home, like I had been waiting for this all my life. I know that women talk a lot about the vulnerability of taking off their pants and getting into the nest for the first time. I still feel that sometimes. The first time, it felt a little clinical. Fifteen years earlier, I taught 500 medical students how to do the pelvic exam and breast exam. Sitting in the exam room as a patient, I gave them the verbal overview of details, then using my body I taught them step by step how to touch and examine the patient. I did that for five years in 1998-2003 at Johns Hopkins University. So, taking off my pants with a stranger felt natural.

As soon as the stroker sat in the nest for our first OM, I had a feeling that we could heal relationships between women and men on the entire planet, just by sitting in the nest and connecting. Throughout the first OM, my clitoris was numb. I was aware of tingling on my forehead and heat in my chest. With no sex or touch for 8 years since my husband died, this light stroking was uncovering, polishing and waking up sensation.

A few weeks later, in the 12th OM, I felt sexual and wanted to have sex with the guy. We had a mental connection and then the physical desire startled and freaked me out. I decided to OM for 50 times, then 100 times before I would even think about having sex with anyone. I wanted to explore the range of sensations that were possible and to let go of any feeling of commerce. (Commerce as in… You did this to me. Now, I do something to you or for you.) After 8 months of OMing, the desire to have sex was so strong I connected with a partner and then an intimacy research partner. Connecting to what I wanted. Not what I thought I should or shouldn’t want.

I began my practice consciously and deliberately. Journaling. Noticing feelings. OMing mainly in circles and in organized groups in Los Angeles. During the first Introduction to Orgasmic Meditation class, I set an intention that I would live in an OM house, a place where people share housing, live in community with “normal” lives and have a morning practice together. When the first house was organized in Venice, CA in June 2013, I was one of the residents. For one year, I had the experience of having a morning practice and running my on-line business out of the house. I took classes, traveled for business and pleasure, learned to live in an ever changing community with a wide range of ages and I discovered more of who I am. #grateful

When I reached 1000 OMs in September 2015, I decided to begin again. Let go of what I think I know about this OM practice and go deeper. Wipe the slate clean. Open myself to a new experience. I committed to being part of core leadership in DC. Keith Byrd is the owner of the OneTaste affiliate and he has welcomed me to co-teach the Intro To OM classes with him. We taught 8 new people in DC last weekend!

To go deeper in my practice, I reserved a room at the Brooklyn, New York OM House Dec 10-17 to immerse myself in OM community living and conversations, daily OMing, and Meet-up events for a week. I am ready to peel away another layer and discover more of me. Opening to the mystery of what is possible. Knowing that OM may seem like a strange journey at times and knowing that it has unlocked things in me that thirty years of deep personal growth work had only touched the tip. OMing goes right into layers of the body and unlocks blocked emotions, uncovers desire and frees me to be me!

To the adventure!

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Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Dramatic Adventure Theater: Travelogue Reading December 2015

Posted on December 6, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 67 of 100 days of Blogging

Tonight I had an opportunity to share a reading about a travel experience in New York City at a Dramatic Adventure Travelogue Event.

Event Description:

WE TELL STORIES (and drink sangria specials!) at this FREE event at New World Stages!!!!

In addition to hearing from a handful of curated special guest writers/performers at each event, this is also an opportunity for you to tell a story from your travels off the cuff or to bring in a prepared essay, journal entry, blog, video, poem, song, or even a piece of fiction that you created about/while traveling–domestically, internationally, or even from one side of the city to the other! (At least four to five story-tellers will be pulled from a hat so, if you’re interested, be sure to drop your name in when our host passes it around!)

Even if you don’t share a story, come listen, reunite, and hug us!!!! It’s been too long! If we’ve never met, then it’s REALLY been too long; introduce yourself!

For more information for the next event in 2016:

Visit www.dramaticadventure.com

My STORY:

It was always hard to sleep the night before flying from New York to San Francisco. Always an early flight, I feared I would sleep through the alarm and not be ready when the taxi cab driver would ring the bell to the apartment. Then, there was the fire in my belly, the anticipation of seeing the man who was my intimacy research partner for 8 months. One week per month we would meet in San Francisco with three weeks apart to live our lives. Staying in contact through text messages and once a week a long Facetime conversation.

So, let me back up for a minute. A few years ago, I lived in Los Angeles and traveled to Baltimore, New York and San Francisco every month. This lasted for eight months.

I teach a 15-minute partnered practice called Orgasmic Meditation and for 18 months, I studied and learned and Immersed myself in this consciousness practice.

The crazy thing about that immersion was an unexpected thing that happened. The feeling sensation in my body increased so much that I could feel a distinct, palpable difference in every city I visited. From earthy to spine tingling to heart expanding, there was a flavor in each location that was unique.

The rhythm of each month began in LA. Waking up early for morning practice with my ten housemates. Then, sitting outside with a hot cup of coffee before heading to the airport. Watching the hummingbirds flitting from Bird of Paradise to Chinese Bell Flower, their beaks inserted into the crevices of flowers to drink the nectar. Me in my flip flops and sundress taking one last breath in our tropical backyard. Then off to the airport. The feel of LAX, with the sun shining and a light breeze maintaining the temperate climate, where it was common to see a movie star waiting in the security line or walking through the airport with a purse dog in a bag on one arm, designer handbag on the other and trying to achieve some level of anonymity by hiding behind sunglasses. The airport feels surreal like the backlot on a movie studio. Lots of action, cameras, stars and unexpected moments with all of us playing the part of the extras in the film.

Arriving in Baltimore five hours later, feeling the grounded, earthiness. No pretense. The Balmore accent melded with local colloquialisms, like, “Hey Hon, you goin’ down da ocean for your birfday?” Always a friend waiting at the curbside to pick me up. Catching up on the ups and downs of life. A pull out couch with flannel sheets waiting for my arrival. A cup of tea. A space heater. A chair pulled to the side of the couch for me to use as a side table.

After a week of coffee house Board meetings and writing workshops for lower income women in Baltimore I get on the Megabus to New York. Balancing my computer on my lap and a cup of Zeke’s coffee in the other hand. (Bad Birds of Baltimore, the preferred choice), sometimes paying the extra $9 for the front row, upper deck seat so I can see the NYC iconic skyline and feel the rush of adrenaline at first sight. Suddenly I am in the city feeling the exhilarating energy of beating hearts, mind racing conversation intermixed with multicultural mixtures of languages.

My body is buzzing with excitement when the bus stops at the corner near Times Square. I hop off the bus, grab the handle of my suitcase and jump into the flow of the crowd like a school girl waiting for the moment when it is my turn to play Double Dutch. Jumping in with my own fancy footwork. I frequently break into song when walking in the crowd not caring what anyone else thinks. Give my Regards to Broadway or Jay Z and Alicia Keys Empire State of Mind.

Give my regards to Broadway
Remember me to Herald Square
Tell all the gang at Forty Second Street
That I will soon be there

AND

In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothin’ you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let’s hear it for New York, New York,
New York

In New York, I took a course called Orgasm Mastery, became a grandmother to Lucille, and stayed in an actor’s apartment in Queens.

And then it was time for San Francisco and my intimacy partner. He flew from Hamburg, Germany to Paris, France. Always stopping at a gift shop to pick up a little memento like an Eiffel tower keychain or a tin of macarons. We always arranged our flights to arrive at the San Francisco Airport within an hour of each other.

San Francisco has this international feeling intermixed with flower child remnants of the 60’s meets technology of the future. The old and the new feeling youthful and alive. Big ideas. Gold rush. Anything is possible.

Most of the months, I arrive at the airport first. Wheeling my suitcase from domestic flights to international and waiting outside the crowded gate. Unlike domestic flights where a friend or family member picks you up at the curb, international flights have throngs of people waiting. There is a monitor where you can watch the passengers on the last hallway before they emerge into the airport. Anticipation is thick in the air. I anticipate my partner’s arrival along with groups of people, some single and some with small and large groups of families. Some with signs but most with flowers and arms ready to embrace a loved one. I wonder about their stories and watch each arrival during my hour wait. The soldier arriving back from a tour in another land with both woman and man crying in a long embrace. The multi-generational Chinese family embracing an elderly man and woman in a wheelchair. I wonder how long it’s been since they last saw each other. There are outcries with each new recognition of the person emerging through the gate. A young woman in her 20’s arrives. Greeted by a man, a woman and two young children. The children hide behind their mother and the man reaches out with a friendly but formal handshake. I think, maybe this is an Au Pair arriving to care for the children for a year. She is here for an adventure in the United States.

And so it continues until I see him, my partner, on the monitor. My heart starts beating faster. We haven’t seen each other in three weeks. He quickens his step when he sees me at the gate. And with one swift motion like two people in a dance, his arm around me turns me to the exit door right outside the airport where we pause to exchange a long, slow kiss before heading to the BART, arriving at our private room at the International Hostel and beginning our week long adventure.

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Orgasmic Meditation

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #26-#32

Posted on December 5, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 66 of 100 Days of Blogging

This is the 6th Blogpost in a series.

Tips #1-#5 are here

Tips #6-#10 are here

Tips #11-#15 are here

Tips #16-#21 are here.

Tips #22-25 are here.

*****

I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New Female OMers #26: Learn to talk – directly – to your pussy. Ask it (her) straight questions. “Well … did you like that?” “Do you trust him?” Build a relationship with your pussy. Tell it the truth. Keep it safe. Honor it. It will tell you an *amazing* amount of useful info … if you show up as someone that it can trust. And if it doesn’t trust you … work to repair your connection, just as you would with a valued person you were on the outs with.

Notes from Andrea: I trust my pussy to lead me. She is always revealing new things to me. Sometimes I have an answer and understanding about what my pussy is telling me and sometimes there is a sensation or feeling and the answer comes to me days later. I follow her lead and continue to learn new things about her.

What are you noticing about your relationship in trusting your pussy?

Tips for New Female OMers #27: Don’t dress up or put on makeup for the OM / stroker. Part of the practice is leaving everything extra, everything we use to ‘influence’ or ‘game’ the connection we have with other people by the wayside. You just have to show up on time, as is, with your magnificent pussy and receive the tacit approval of having your pussy stroked. No ‘owe-sies’ … no ‘horsetrading’ (“how about an OM for a BJ?”) … no having to negotiate or barter for physical connection.

Notes from Andrea: This one cracked me up because morning practice in LA usually meant rolling out of bed and walking up the stairs and getting into the nest. No one even brushed their teeth. Funny!

Good point from Alutha. You do not have to wear “sexy” clothing or have your hair and makeup perfect for the OM. There are stages in this practice where you may think of this as dating and you are choosing people who you have a sexual attraction to on the outside so you think you have to be something for your OM partner.

Many times, the most potent OM is with the person you are least attracted to physically on the outside. Just get in the nest and OM!

Cleanliness is great. Anything else is extra.

Tips for New OMers #28: “Yes means yes. No means no. No answer means no.” Either partner can ask for an OM. A ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is the only response needed. A woman (or man) owes their partner no explanation … if they give a ‘no.’ None. It *may* be useful to provide more info regards to giving feedback around your decision process / criteria – AND it is *not* required. BTW … if no answer is forthcoming, and you asked clearly, “Would you like to OM?” … and didn’t mumble … take the hint. No answer … means ‘no.’ Don’t badger them. Get coaching from an OM Coach or experienced OMer that you trust around asking for OMs or how you present yourself … if you have concerns about either.

Notes from Andrea: If someone asks me to OM and I have a partner for a circle already, I will say Thank you and please ask me again. Or Thanks for asking, I have partners for the OM circle today. If I have a regular OM partner who I “in-home OM” with and I have decided not to OM with them on a regular basis anymore, I feel it is a courtesy to tell them and share why. If I felt I couldn’t do that on my own, I would ask a community member to mediate a conversation. (Of course, there are different situations and sometimes you just want a break. It is a feeling without a reason.)And like Alutha said, Do you want to OM? A yes or a no is the only response you need to give. It is a part of the OM.

Tips for New OMers #29:

The OM Container matters. And everyone you OM with is being trained in *how* to meet – and respect – a woman. Leave your partner a better stroker then you found them. No poaching in the container (by either of you) … for hugs, kisses, or ‘makeouts.’ The hugs is a big one for west coasters. Do not hug in the nest! It trains the body that if one person *doesn’t* want to hug … something is wrong. THEN it gets ‘tacked’ on to an OM – unnecessarily. Some women have angry OMs… OMs where a lot of fury gets dredged up and ‘metabolized.’ The *last* thing they want after the OM is a hug from their stroker. So, no hugs.

Notes from Andrea: To really get the benefits of OM as a practice, the container is vital to a solid practice. It is important for both strokee and stroker to hold it.

OMing and Sex are 2 different things. If I was going over to someone’s house to have sex, I am all about the adventure. Turn on the music, feed me fruit, lingerie is fun, I will have sex in every room of the house and outside (I love nature!), and on every counter. Follow the sensation and let it take us wherever we both want to go. I love the simplicity of slow, connected sex and bells and whistles are fun.

OM: Keep the nest exactly the same way every time!!!

My vigilance is on heightened alert at even the slightest change. Do not change the location of the pillow. Do not add smells and sounds. As soon as you ask me to OM, the OM begins. And wherever we are going to go is already stirring before I arrive.

The longer you OM, the wider the range and the deeper you can go and the more you can feel and have some idea of what is going to happen in this goal-less practice.

Our OMs may be boring for weeks and that is only preparation for a breakthrough OM where one of us is going to sob for 15 minutes or get in touch with old anger from childhood and release it through my pussy. This is not sex! It is a consciousness practice!! And it is a potent source of power. Don’t mess with the container!

So…I have some strong feelings about this, right? And the main reason is that our OM partnership will end (or maybe I will OM in circle with you) because I can not trust that you will honor the container. I can not trust that I have a safe space to crack open because you have another desire, want or need that you are trying to convey by messing with the nest and I can FEEL it!

And strokees…every time you go along with the adventurous stroker and encourage or accept the breaking of the container, you have messed it up for every strokee who comes after you. If you are going to do that, just have sex with him!

I know it is hard. I feel like a bitch when I have to keep adjusting a stroker about the container. And I don’t want to do it after awhile so I will turn my attention to someone else who wants to OM and keep the container and OM as a practice. It is that vital to my life. Respect the container. Respect the OM. Keep the practice clean.

One more feeling: None of us knows a person’s whole story. You do not know about my history with men or abuse or trauma or trust violation. I need the OM container to peel away layers and reach a place of power that is accessible to all of us in the OM. And if you can’t keep it and you subtly try to add in stuff, I won’t OM with you. I can’t OM with you. My pussy will not allow it.

Okay…now I can breathe again!

Tips for Female New OMers #30: Make sure your partner knows to signal that they have heard – and understood – your requests during the OM … by replying simply, “thank you.” If any stroker refuses to acknowledge your requests … or declines to follow basic, doable requests … toss them back in the pool. They need more training. (Strokers … especially new ones … will get lost easily, and may have difficulty keeping up with requests. I am talking about someone who is aggressively “topping” a woman … someone who has decided they ‘know better’ …then the woman.)

Notes from Andrea: Making requests was really hard for me at first. Partly because I didn’t know what to ask for. I was out of touch with my pussy and any touch just felt good. At the time, LA had an advanced OM course that is like the OM Practice Club (OPC) now. They were giving us more ideas of what to ask for in a request. Exploring the language. At the next OM Circle, I tried asking for an adjustment and the stroker got mad at me. He tried to analyze what he was doing wrong and why I asked for the adjustment. At the time, I didn’t understand why he was mad at me. Now, I see it every once in awhile. It feels like the old conditioning that a man is supposed to know what to do and take the lead in sexuality. It is part of the unraveling we are doing.

It is important for women to ask for adjustments and it is important for men to relax and receive the adjustment. We are unraveling this piece together.

What is your experience?

Tips for New OMers #31: After the OM is complete, share 2 sensory-based frames (“shares”). Stay out of metaphor. This is training to connect “clean” language to your body’s experience. “Clean” language means it is based strictly in the language of your senses … brightness, jolts, heat / coolness, light touch / throbbing … and *not* the language we use to influence or ‘game’ another person to ‘like’ us (“… it was heavenly, Barbara! … will you date me now?”) For more *optional* complex reports / processing … keep it out of the nest … and decidedly post-OM – and mutually consensual. Women have dumped strokers who have insisted on 30-minute post-OM “processing” sessions. “15 minutes, baby. I have a life.” (Use your journal for processing and notetaking. Make ‘process dates’ with other OMers (especially other women) … to compare notes.)

Notes from Andrea: Finding descriptive words for frames takes practice. Most of us do not spend time describing a sensation in our body. In the beginning, you might want to describe it as the heavens opened up and I saw God, or I felt like I was in Egypt in another life or it felt good. Those are not frames.

Examples of frames:

There was a moment when I felt a buzzing in my chest and a ripple of heat went down my left arm.

There was a moment when I felt tingling on the top of my head.

There was a moment when my finger touched the skin on your leg and I felt a puff of heat.

There was a moment when I felt prickly shards of glass in my clit.

Take your time. Practice. Less is more.

Also, the post OM processing sessions, many times in the DC area, it takes me an hour to get to someone’s house. So, two hours of driving and an hour for OMing is already a 3 hour commitment. I prefer to limit the processing and let the experience be the connection. When you are really focused in the OM, you know everything you need to know about me. My pussy is speaking to you. For an ongoing, regular practice, keep it to OMing. If you want more processing time, come to Saturday night TurnOn and go out to dinner with the group afterwards.

Tips for New OMers #32: Last … have every new / existing stroker you partner with read this OM Report list. Get a firm thumbs up on *all* of the items. If they waver on one … find out which and discuss it. Bring an OM coach / experienced OMer you trust in to referee … on disputed points.

Generally … the person with the pussy holds the tie-breaker.

OM REPORT by ALUTHA J.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

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Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

The Female Orgasm is a Mystery…or is it?

Posted on December 1, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 62 of 100 days of Blogging

Elizabeth Plank explored a topic: What men need to know about the female orgasm. Video posted on Mic today and it has already been viewed over 333,000 times. It must be a topic we are interested in exploring. 🙂

The 4 minute video explores female “orgasm” with an interview and demonstration of Orgasmic Meditation. (OM)

OM is a consciousness practice that involves light stroking of the clitoris for 15 minutes. In OM, Orgasm is defined as 8 stages…climax, resolution, restoration, turn on, peaking, excitement, plateau and stillness. In the 15 minute container, both the stroker and the strokee experience sensations without being goal oriented. You may feel one stage or several or all eight. The stroker learns to follow the sensations from the woman’s pussy and to receive or offer adjustments.

Watch the video and let me know what you think. Post in the comments.

What men need to know about the female orgasmMen say the female orgasm is a mystery — so we asked women to solve it for them.

Posted by Mic on Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Keith Byrd and I are teaching Intro to OM on Saturday, December 5.
JOIN us!

http://www.meetup.com/TurnOn-WashingtonDC…/events/224416020/

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Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #22-25

Posted on November 28, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 59 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 5th Blogpost in a series.

Tips #1-#5 are here

Tips #6-#10 are here

Tips #11-#15 are here

Tips #16-#21 are here.

*****

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New OMers #22: If you have scent allergies … safeport your stroker. Experienced strokers know to dial back or eliminate artificial perfumes / aftershave. They can overwhelm a woman or distract her. And more significantly (for some strokers) they block the stroker’s ability to pick up subtle shifts in a woman’s scent. The nose knows when a pussy secretes.

Tips for New OMers #23: Every fluid and scent combo imaginable will be discharged unexpectedly during an OM of yours if you OM long enough. It’s all you. Be proud. It’s part of your orgasm. Safeport if you feel compelled to … but no apologies during the OM. You don’t have to “behave yourself” during your OM. Let ‘er rip.

Notes from Andrea: All I have to say is Yes. Communicate when you have scent allergies and anything else.

Tips for New OMers #24: Newbie women often have unconscious “display-of-orgasm” markers that they have adopted along the way, prior to OM. Moaning, “oh-god’s,” pelvic thrusts / movements … may all arise during a newbie’s early OMs. That’s ok. Eventually you will learn to relax your hips … and ask your stroker to adjust their stroke – instead of moving your hips to do it for them. Ditto with the vocalizations … they are unnecessary and have often been adopted as a [primitive] way of signaling a lover that they are “doing good.” Your stroker doesn’t need those … so, relax. A stroker learns to sense minute shifts in their partner’s (that would be you) physiology … swelling of pussy tissue, micro contractions, changes in temperature. Sounds … designed to spur a partner on … are overkill … and a distraction.

Notes from Andrea:

In the beginning, I moaned and vocalized for him. I still notice it once in awhile. Old conditioning and ego stroking. The transition from vocalizing for him and vocalizing for me was when I noticed I had a feeling or emotion and I wanted to express it through my voice just for me. Crying. Softly and Loudly. Yelling Fuck YOU into the room after feeling a wave of anger. Asking for adjustments. OM is a practice and using our voice is a part of that practice. I let my voice make sounds whenever I want to now and even deep breathing or panting, when it feels natural to do it for myself. I am also silent during some OMs. I feel the sensations and the process more is more internal. A stroker who is focused on my body will feel the body response. My voice is not necessary.

One more layer. When I climaxed in an OM in October, I had to ask my partner if I made any noise because I had no awareness of it. I was so tuned into the sensation in my body that I felt like we were all alone instead of in a room with 6 nests. I couldn’t hear anyone. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was in a total experience of involuntary and sensation. I am curious about this next layer. To be so connected to the sensation…

Tips for New Female OMers #25: Every woman’s pussy is perfect. And they are all different. If you have a pussy that strokers find challenging (first … remember your pussy is perfect) … learn with them. “My clit likes to play hide and seek in the beginning…” “My hood needs to be pulled back more then most …” etc. Bring approval to your magnificent pussy then help your stroker meet your needs. **As long as you safeport your partner … it is fine to have a pussy orientation session (introitus, clit, hood, …), pre-OM – under your explicit guidance. Let your partner know exactly how you want it to go. No wandering fingers. Change gloves at the end of the exploration session.**

Notes from Andrea: I had OMed a couple of hundred times before I had a session with Ken Blackman in the OM House in Venice, CA. He OMed with all four of the women who lived there. Then he taught the strokers a “resonant” stroke for the house. We were the center of the community and regular OMing was important for the limbic system. Connection and release. As he coached the strokers with each strokee, this was the first time I ever heard someone say my clit liked to hide. All of the strokers nodded. They all knew it but had never said that in the noticing step of the OM. I have learned so much about my pussy from strokers who use the noticing step and have described my pussy to me.

For those of you who don’t know Ken, he was Nicole Daedone’s stroker and lived in the warehouse, a place where OM was researched. When I met him, Ken was called a Master Stroker and he is an amazing stroker “musician” with 10,000+ hours of expertise. He has fine tuned the art of stroking.

What is your experience with a woman’s pussy? Strokees and Strokers

One more posting of tips…next week #26-#32!

*****

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #16-#21

Posted on November 21, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 52 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 4th Blogpost in a series.

Tips #1-#5 are here

Tips #6-#10 are here

Tips #11-#15 are here

*****

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New OMers #16: When discussing your OMs with others … anonymize your partners: “my stroker moved his finger ____.” Don’t say their name. People’s need for privacy / security may fluctuate greatly. Remember … they are your stroker … not your boyfriend / girlfriend. Social circles intersect these days in surprising ways.

Notes from Andrea: Guilty! This was one of the wires I had to uncross. Looking back, it was the ego stroking and it was commerce. My ecstatic gratitude to be touched and receive the attention, even when the OMs really felt meditative and not sexual, I was thanking my strokers, by name, all over the OM Hub (which was on Facebook at the time) And I wasn’t the only one. We were all high on Orgasm and we wanted to love each other up! So…remember that everyone has different privacy needs and this is not dating and keep it simple. You can share your experience in an OM, just no posting names and nothing that identifies the OM partner.

Tips for New Female OMers #17: Keep and use your own lube. Keep track of where it is … and how it is handled. No double-dipping – avoid yeast infections.

Tips for New Female OMers #18: If your period comes, and you wish to OM … OM. Safeport your partner. Some newbie strokers may be squeamish … it is an archaic cultural thing. Respect their right range … if they pass on OMing … it won’t be about you. Every experienced (100+) strokers I know have *no* problem with stroking women during their period. Women on their flow often have “energetic release” OMs … and it may help some women alleviate cramps. Depending on flow … consider using a larger towel. Menses is part of having a pussy … celebrate it!

Notes from Andrea: On lube: Do you remember Biology class and growing cultures from the germs on your hands. Have your own lube. Ask the stroker to wear gloves. And if you are OMing in a monogamous relationship without gloves, have your partner use something to take some lube out of the jar. Another tip on lube: I like OneTaste Lube because it has beeswax and it helps the stroker get a better connection on the clit. I have used coconut oil and a sex lube. They were both too slippery (I tried all three lubes as a stroker, too and I prefer the OneTaste lube.)

On the period tips: It is so true. I have never heard a stroker say No to OM with a woman who is menstruating. Extra towels sometimes. Do what feels right to you and safeport your partner.

One more tip: If a woman has a tampon in and the string is hanging out, there is no reason to say anything about it, unless it affects you in some way. Like you want to safeport her that the string was moved during the towel stroke.

Tips for New Female OMers #19: OneTaste (for marketing purposes) went through a phase where they didn’t mention using gloves as an essential element of an OM. This was an unfortunate decision on their part. Gloves are strongly recommended. There are some strokers who haven’t gotten the memo (see the new OT Container doc) … and think they “know best.” For safety and hygiene: have your stroker use gloves. Even in a solitary, committed partnership … like a marriage. Your hubby may have a host of pussy-unfriendly bacteria on his hands on any given day. Use gloves – hygiene is a way to signal respect.

(Note from Andrea: It also separates it as a practice and not sex)

Tips for New Female OMers #20: Know what gloves your pussy likes / dislikes. Keep a stash of your favs on hand – in different sizes … in case a guest stroker comes by.

Tips for New Female OMers #21: Have your stroker always wash his / her hands before OMing starts. And keep those fingernails clipped close and clean.

Notes from Andrea: One of the most powerful things we can change in our communication is more consciousness around our interactions and asking for what we want. Women using their voice. Connecting with men. Consideration for each other.

True confession: I got pregnant at the age of 19 because I was embarrassed to let the “one night stand” I was sleeping with know that I wasn’t on birth control pills and we needed to use a condom. I didn’t want to bother or trouble or inconvenience him. Geez! He was so hot, I put that before taking care of myself. It was a foolish decision and it woke me up and started my personal growth journey. I had an abortion and basically it shook me into: WTF are you doing?!?

Forty years later, the journey with asking a man for what I need and want in the OM nest and in bed are still waking up. It gets easier and easier even when a stroker does not “like” the adjustment I asked for. Using my voice to ask for what I want.

Tips on Gloves: Use gloves, even if you are in a relationship with someone. It keeps OM as a practice and separate from sex. Keep gloves on hand.

Ask your stroker to keep his nails clipped. It is amazing how an unclipped stroking finger can feel like shards of glass on the clit and an unclipped thumb nail can leave an abrasion in the introitus.

Tips #22-#25 next week!

*****

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #11-#15

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 45 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 3rd Blogpost in a series.

The first 5 tips are here

Tips 6-10 are here

*****

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New OMers #11: Get support. Have an experienced OMer you know and trust … or an OM coach … observe one of your OMs with a stroker who is learning the ropes. Skype is an option for some women.

Notes from Andrea:

Other ways to get support.

*Join a Women’s Circle. It is a place to get to know the women and stay connected.
*Attend the Community OM DAY
*Stay for TurnON after the OM Circle and go to dinner with us
*Find out how long people have been OMing and connect with experienced OMers to ask questions.
*If something happens in a private OM and something seems “off” contact one of the leaders in the community.
*Get onto the OM Hub.
*Watch OM videos (we have posted some in here.)
*Hire a coach for OM training.

Tips for New OMers #12: Drugs and alcohol impair the ability to make and keep – let alone remember – clean agreements. OM sober – make sure your partner is as well.

Notes from Andrea: At TurnOns, OM Circles, Community OM Days, in OM Houses it is a policy to be drug and alcohol free. OM is a practice of simplicity, attention, connection. The element of drugs and alcohol of any kind is adding something to the OM. Also, we are waking up our feelings and sensations. So, OM Sober.In the OM Houses, there are potluck dinners and OM Circles. They are always drug and alcohol free. If anyone wants to go out afterwards, they are free to do that. Just not in the House and not connected to OMing.

Tips for New OMers #13: Keep an OM journal. Keep it safe and under your direct control. If you can keep an audio or video OM journal as well. You would be surprised how different you sound / look in a year of OMing!

Tips for New Female OMers #14: Consider keeping a separate Pussy Journal as well … health, appetite, moods, colors. Keep it safe … and under your direct control.OM

Tips for New Female OMers #15: The exact number of OMs you have isn’t important. And … broad numbers can be helpful. An OMer with fewer then 10 OMs will likely have different experiences / questions … then one with 25-ish … 50-ish … 100-ish … 500-ish … 1000-ish … 2500-ish. Generally, I hear similar learnings / issues arise in roughly the same range of OMs. It can be helpful when discussing your practice with other OMers to be able to approximate the number of OMs you have completed. And it gives you a rough experience marker to gauge a new stroker by. Strokers under 25 OMs will demonstrate different skill levels (generally) … then ones with 100+ OMs.

Notes from Andrea:

Keeping a journal is a way to deepen your practice. To bring more awareness to the changes in your body, mind spirit. It will help you to notice and also stay connected to OM as a practice. You may notice trends like stillness, high sensation, emotions, when you feel a new spot on the clit. You may notice that after 25-50 OMs something shifts in your life. Personally and professionally. You may notice that the way you interact with your family or co-workers is different.

I record date and 1st name of stroker and a sensation. Sometimes you notice that whenever you OM with “M” you get ideas for your business or you feel calmer. There is no right or wrong. It is information. Just like any practice, the more you engage, the more you wake up to more of who you really are.

Tips #16-#20 will be posted on Nov 21

**********

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation: Feeling More Sensation

Posted on November 13, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 44 of 100 days of Blogging

One of the benefits of an Orgasmic Meditation Practice is an increase of sensations in your body. It brings an aliveness and a flow of energy.

One moment:

Sitting next to my intimacy research partner on the BART train in San Francisco, I touched his leg and felt the sensation of warmth and electricity. The sensation increased and I noticed my hand had shifted to my own knee. I felt warmth and electricity there, too, and the flow increased throughout my body. I paused.

“Wow! I am so turned on by the sensation in my body. It feels so alive and buzzing and fresh and new.” I told my partner to wait on the kiss. I wanted to feel the buzzing in my own body for another few minutes. Then a kiss from him expanded my heart with a fluttering and I felt a sensation of warm honey flowing through my body.

One moment:

Lunchtime: There was a moment in the restaurant when my hand touched the table top. I felt a zing of electricity and I paused to stroke the table with the palm of my hand.

I felt a shot of electricity and continued to rub my hand on the table for a few minutes. There was an increased sensation flowing in my entire body!

(none of this was drug or alcohol induced!)

One moment:

Having sex with my partner last night. There was a moment when I lightly stroked his butt. I felt an electric zing from my finger to his butt through his hard cock inside of me and pulsed into my pussy. My pussy was swelling and the sensation kept increasing. More sensation than I have ever felt in sex. Pulsing heat and electricity transmitted into my pussy.

One moment:

Sitting side by side on the couch as I am writing this blog, he readjusted his foot and it lightly brushed against my little toe. I felt a zing of electricity move from my foot, up my body, all the way to the top of my head. A flash of an instant and a distinct feeling of connection. My body feels so alive!

Leaving you with that sensation for now. (Even the roof of my mouth is tingling from writing this. Yum!)

What is your experience with sensation in your body?

***********

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #6-#10

Posted on November 7, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 38 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 2nd Blogpost in a series. The first 5 tips are here

*****

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In a series of blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

Tips for New OMers #6

“It is a privilege to stroke a woman. You owe no man / person access to your clit.” (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: I have had so many wires to uncross around this. Unraveling old, deep, deep conditioning. When I first started OMing, I felt like the men were Gods and a rare breed I had just discovered. A man who would focus his attention on me and stroke my clit and not asking for anything in return. I felt beholden to him and that I had better be “nice” or he wouldn’t want to OM with me. I would write long appreciations on the OM Hub. Then I had a variety of experiences that changed my thinking to an equal partnership. I began to OM with men who really saw this as a practice and who were receiving nourishment, fulfillment and pleasure.

*My regular Saturday morning partner showed me how he had this longing to connect to women and give his attention. I witnessed how it turned him on in every area of his life. Work, Play, Love Relationships, Friendships. It was gorgeous to watch him open. He was my #28 OM for those of you who read my story in Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire.

*I had an OM with my intimacy research partner after OMing for a year that broke through another level of vulnerability, intimacy, connection. I felt cracked open and I could see his face and eyes got softer. When I shared the experience in a class led by Nicole Daedone, she used me as an example of how a women talks about a man like he is a King when he gives her 15 minutes of the kind of attention she gives him all the time. Whoa! That woke me up. I saw how the commerce exchange was emotional. You stroke my pussy and I stroke your ego. I became more conscious of that and focused on my own experience while trusting that the stroker would focus on his.

*At OMX in 2013, two of the men I OMed with sobbed through the entire OM. One man (in his 60s) lost his wife 8 months earlier. I raised my hand for a coach to sit with us. It was the strokers first OM and the coach helped him stay connected to me and let out the grief through sobbing. The second man was in his early 20’s, a college student. The OM touched something deep in him and he told me later he released shame and unworthiness and fear of being “man enough” during the OM by letting out the tears and the grief.

*Now, after almost 3 years of OMing, I have more access to my essence and that affects everyone around me. The stroker, the community, my family and children. We need each other! I appreciate the practice and I appreciate the men and women who have the courage to connect.

Tips for New OMers #7: Find / create OM circles you can trust. Use them to pre-screen potential new strokers and strokees. (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: Yes! Saturday nights before TurnOn in Washington, DC. OM Circle for trained OMers. Get trained. Join the Meet-up. Connect with partners. A great way to OM with someone for the first time and to meet new OMers. And Community OM Days! I am currently living in DC and there are other communities around the world.

http://www.meetup.com/TurnOn-WashingtonDC-OM/

Tips for New Female OMers #8: “Creepy Old Man” energy is a thing. The men your body flags as “red” … you aren’t responsible for. If they need re-training / support, let them get it from OneTaste. (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: Trust your body and also use it for your growth. Trust your feelings first. We enter the room as adults. We use the green, yellow, red system. Green means go. Yellow means some discomfort and I want to push an edge. Red means I am in Fight or Flight or Frozen. Too much! STOP!

Do not OM with someone who puts you into RED.

On the other hand, if you are OMing with multiple partners and in YELLOW, you may be misinterpreting what they are saying or they may be helping you to unravel something. An old conditioning, a deeper desire. (Like the guy in the photo, it says Comb Over, not Come Over). In this situation, trust your gut to say Yes or No. Is there a preference that is limiting you in your life? Are you curious to learn something new? If you are in YELLOW, OM in circle and not privately.

One time I OMed with someone who put me into YELLOW and I pushed the edge and decided to OM with him in circle. There was so much sensation and power that was opened in me. I began to notice that I had more access to my power and I connected it to that OM. The good girl has a bigger voice now!

Tips for New OMers #9: “OMing is *not* dating. Don’t collapse the two. Develop a strong, clean practice.” (Alutha J.)

Tips for New OMers #10: I *strongly* recommend *not* dating a stroker … until you have at least 100 OMs under your belt … 250 is even better. This is about establishing a strong practice. 90% of women newbies who dated a regular stroker early in their practice (under 50 OMs) … reported it screwed up their practice … and took them up to 6 months to get back to where they were before. (The OMs don’t all have to be with the same stroker.) (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea:

In OM we are uncrossing wires, unraveling old social conditioning. OMing brings sensations that we connect with other things. Being turned on in old conditioning means I must be in love, I have to have sex with him/her, I owe the stroker something else (emotional stroking, home baked cookies, sex, a happy face)

We are not used to holding high sensation without taking action. Stay in the sensation of being turned on and wait on the “I want to have sex with him or her.” Let it build. See if you can point that energy to something else without needing to release it. Build a practice and the energy builds so that when you do have sex with someone in the future, the electricity in your body is unbelievable. Don’t rush it.

I OMed for 8 months before I had sex again. And I had OMed around 400 times. I had been in two long term monogamous relationships in marriage. I trusted that the unraveling was happening and my body would open even more.

It was worth the wait. The power and electricity continues to build with the practice and sex gets better and better. (And I thought it was great before OMing! I didn’t know how much more sensation could build in my body)

Tips #11-#15 Blogpost on November 14

*****

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

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