Tag Archives: Self-care

Why Partners, Family, and Friends Can Be Hazardous to Your Health by Carolyn A. Brent

Across All Ages

DEEP BEAUTY International Blog Tour 2019

Today I have the great pleasure of being the first host here in Santa Monica, CA, USA on Day 1 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent, whose book, “Transforming Your Life through Self-Care: A Guide to Tapping into Your Deep Beauty and Inner Worth” is celebrating its big Worldwide book launch on May 8, 2019.

 

CAROLYN A. BRENT is an award-winning bestselling author and a National Physique Committee (NPC) Masters Women’s Figure Champion at age 60. She is an expert on both self-care and caregiving; she is the founder of Across All Ages and two nonprofit organizations, CareGiverStory Inc. and Grandpa’s Dream.  Carolyn’s written works is in the Library of Congress the libraries of Harvard, Stanford, Johns Hopkins, and numerous other medical centers and universities.

 

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her on the subject of Why Partners, Family, and Friends Can Be Hazardous, Setting healthy boundaries and Relationships. I hope you enjoy it.

 

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ANDREA HYLEN: How do we maintain and grow relationships with partners, family and friends when we may also feel a need to protect our tender heart?

 

Carolyn A. Brent: Thank you so much for asking such an important question. Before I delve into the answer, I like to discuss matters of the heart.

Yes, it’s natural for a person to want to protect his or her tender heart especially when there is a sudden and unexpected family emergency, and everyone should be united–right?  In short, we want everyone to be on the same page.

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But, the truth of the matter is–when trauma, loss, and grief come our way–each person will handle and deal with their pain and stresses very differently.   Whether if it’s a spouse, parent, child, loved one or close family friend often, everyone is seeking for the other person to see, and feel the same as they do.

 

Just be aware, some family members and loved ones may not “ever” be on the same page at the same time. The best practice should take place way before there is sudden and unexpected emergency comes.

 

I will forever say and believe, that families and loved ones should have those tough conversations way– before there is an emergency. We all have experienced stress, and we know by first-hand experience– that it is a crazy and nerve-wracking time in one’s life.

 

Years before my dad got sick, I tried to have the crucial family conversation with my adult siblings. Needless to say, they were just not interested, and never took an active role in the care of our dad–until they thought our dad was dying, and there was money to be had.

 

My family experience was so tragic until most of my healthcare professionals, and psychologist refer to my heartbreaking family experience in one word. Chilling!

 

In my case, it took me years of getting help– weekly from a remarkable psychologist who understood my family drama, and helped me to transform my life through self-care, and tapping into my deep beauty and inner worth. When I practice this method–my life changed drastically and continues to evolve to this day.

 

I firmly believe that the only person we can change is yourself. We cannot force our beliefs and ideas on anyone which includes the people we love the most. If anyone you know and love is toxic or hazardous to your health, seek professional help immediately. Don’t wait; it may save someone’s life.

 

I also want to strongly remind everyone that any form of abuse is never okay. Anyone from any race, sexual orientation, age, gender, or religion can be a victim—or perpetrator—of abuse. Abuse can happen to people who are married, living together, just dating, friends, and family members. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). Learn more: Chapter 2: Why Partners, Family, and Friends Can Be Hazardous to Your Health.

 

ANDREA HYLEN: Do you have suggestions for setting boundaries and also keeping our hearts open?

 

Carolyn A. Brent: Yes, it’s best practice to have healthy boundaries and know that your peace of mind, joy, and tranquility comes first. The following are some substantial things to consider:

 

  1. Let go of things you cannot change.
  2. You can’t force someone to love you.
  3. Love yourself.
  4. Have compassion.
  5. Practice acts of forgiveness.
  6. Lead a purpose-filled life.
  7. Help somebody.

 

 

ANDREA HYLEN: Please explain more about how our closest relationships can be hazardous to our health.

 

Carolyn A. Brent: I know what I am about to share is shocking. But sometimes the truth is worse than fiction. On September 19, 2007, my dad had a massive hematoma, bleeding on the brain. While I was dealing with the agony of seeing my dad’s health take such a rapid turn, my siblings decided they wanted to take over his care. They had never taken any time to help in all of the twelve years that I was his caregiver.

 

I wish they had acted out of concern for my dad and me. They did not. When family members think there is money to be had, you may find yourself taking out restraining orders and spending time in probate court. That’s exactly what happened to me. I was served with restraining orders in three different county probate courthouses. At each court hearing, as we stood before the Judge, the plaintiff would drop all charges she had filed against me.

 

With the legal battles and everything that was happening, I had no time to process or recover. I was angry, depressed, and in astonishing physical and emotional pain. My life was spiraling out of control.

 

Then came the final blow: My beloved dad died. A distant relative notified me two weeks after his internment. My siblings did not even tell me that he had passed or where he was buried. Can you imagine the devastation, shock, and excruciating emotional pain I experienced? Learn More: Chapter 1: Becoming An Authority of Your Life… (When Dreams Come Crashing Down)..

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that you’ll check out her book on May 8, 2019:

 

Join us on the 2019 International DEEP BEAUTY Telesummit: May 6th, 7th & 8th

Details here: http://bit.ly/2W3K69a

Book-Cover

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Catch Carolyn’s Book Trailer… click here!

 

Thanks for reading! Please share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

 

AND… be sure to follow Carolyn tomorrow when the next stop is in London, England with the Ben Salmi family where 3 youngsters and their grandma will be interviewing Carolyn on the subject of Living Your Divine Purpose, Rejoice in Your life, Purpose in Your Soul and The Health and Money Connection. To visit the Ben Salmi family, go to http://bit.ly/2IMWuY1

 

 

DEEP BEAUTY Wellness Retreat Summer 2019

Self-Care: Come Down Pleasurably and Gently

Day 47 of 100 days of Blogging

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About six weeks ago, I made a commitment to host a few events and connect with people in person. Yesterday was the completion of the event that required the most energy and the most “holding of space.” Afterwards, I felt low, “in the down” is another term for it. I wasn’t depressed. Nothing was wrong. I was aware of the need to “come down pleasurably”, a term I learned in my practice of Orgasmic Meditation. Being gentle with myself. Feeling the feelings and having space for some gentle self-care.

 

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Today I am making space for:

A nap.

A walk in 68 degree weather today.

A hot cup of tea.

Quiet, gentle music.

Silence.

An epsom salt bath.

Writing.

Rest…ahhh

 

When you need that space of rest, how do you come down pleasurably?

 

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Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.