Tag Archives: Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation: My 28th OM

Day 14 of 100 days of blogging

In 2014, I co-facilitated a group of women from Sweden and the United States to write a story in the book Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire. Women wrote stories from the body about childbirth, puberty, menopause, and sexuality. My story was called: Slut: A woman with the morals of a man. (This is the definition from the Urban Dictionary) I processed a lot of feelings and emotions to write this story. A journey of sexual exploration. It was a bigger “coming out” to family, friends, community with a topic that is hidden for most of us. When I released my story into the book, I felt free.

This is an excerpt from my story where I wrote about an experience in an OM (Orgasmic Meditation:

Inside of me were these different parts that seemed incongruent, the mother, the slut, the nice girl, the bitch, the soft feminine, the determined warrior. Most of the time, I felt I had to shut down the desires of the slut. I rarely let her take charge and claim her lusty, natural desires.

At the age of 56, I entered a world of sexual exploration consciously and took one step at a time; pausing, trying something new, reflecting, checking in to see how it felt in my body and willing to experience everything. I decided to become a living research project. Over a two-year period, I practiced Orgasmic Meditation (OM) with multiple partners, had an intimacy research partner to explore sex and vulnerable conversation, lived in a conscious community with a morning OM practice, and took a year of coursework in a Desire-based Leadership Program and Orgasm Mastery. I kept a journal to record my experiences and feelings.

 

OM #28: A moment in an OM

Screen Shot 2015-08-17 at 7.27.35 AMHave you ever had a man place his full attention on your body?

Me, quietly: “I feel sad,”
Him calmly: “I’ve got you. Let it out.”

Laying on my back, legs spread in a butterfly position, his finger lightly stroked my clitoris in this 15 minute partnered practice. This time I released sadness. His attention and my surrender allowed wave after wave of sobbing outbursts to erupt from the cells of my body and through my voice. After the first five minutes, I could feel the sobs welling up again like a wave in the ocean building to a crescendo. I shout out to him:

“DON’T LEAVE ME””

Him: “I’m right here. I won’t leave.”

In this, my 28th OM, I am releasing so much emotion, I cannot believe a man will stay connected, will keep lightly stroking, will hold a space calmly while I get to feel and release everything!

I was raised with the idea that men were incapable of holding my emotion. I had to tone it down. Be a nice girl. Cry silently. Alone. The idea that a man could place all of his attention on me without asking me to immediately turn and place my attention on him is amazing.

After the OM, he asked if I was okay. Did I need anything? Water? Food? Bathroom? Another OM? Yes to water and bathroom and OM. Get back into the OM nest of blankets and pillows and integrate what just happened.

I lay down in the nest again; legs butterflied open. Trusting him even more. Going into deeper surrender. Throughout the OM, the only thing that emerges is connection, heightened sensation and more pleasure than I have ever felt in my life. I am cracked open.

The experience changed us both. I felt a man place his full attention on me. Holding all of me. And going into the deepest surrender I have ever felt. He experienced a woman trusting him enough to let him hold her, all of her. Maybe the things we were taught about women and men while growing up are not true. We both saw a glimpse of what is possible with greater connection, trust, surrender and support.

He later described me as one of the chambers of his heart. For breaking his heart out of his prison and putting it back together. This was a moment in time that cracked both of us open to be more of who we are in our separate lives. I am grateful that our paths crossed with so much intimacy and healing.

I am grateful for the practice of OM and for the people who have the courage to try it.

 

*****

 

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Orgasmic Meditation: Exploring our Bodies

Day 13 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 7.45.25 AMIn college, I studied Human Sexuality as part of my Social Work degree from Temple University. Reading the book, “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” written by the Boston Women’s Health Collective was the first time I can remember hearing the voices of women sharing their experiences with vulnerability and information about a woman’s body. One evening, I sat in a woman’s circle where every woman was handed a plastic speculum, a mirror, a flashlight and lubrication. We were taught how to do the breast exam and pelvic exam on ourselves. All of the women took off their pants and underwear, lay down on blankets and pillows and prepared to follow the step-by-step instructions to touch and examine our own bodies. I remember the exclamations of awe and joy and tears when a woman saw her cervix for the first time. Women empowering women in a circle gathering. That was 1978 and I was 22 years old.

During the late 90’s, I taught medical students at Johns Hopkins University how to do the pelvic and breast exam, first with words and instructions. Then I gave each of them a hands-on-experience, using my body as a practice patient. Dressed in a hospital gown, I taught them how to hold and use the speculum, guiding their hands to insert the speculum into my vagina with me as their first patient. I talked about the importance of creating a safe environment and using a gentle touch to preserve each woman’s dignity. In five years of teaching, I had over 500 pelvic and breast exams with 500 different medical students.

In 2013, I entered a new experience with my body when I was introduced to a 15 minute partnered practice called Orgasmic Meditation (OM). In this partnered practice with a man, I experienced the potential for us to heal our sexuality through better communication, attention and connection. No goal. 15 minutes of connection, sensation and the awakening of desire. I practiced OM with multiple partners in a safe community environment and learned how to teach the technique by taking courses with a company called OneTaste. I have now taught individuals and partners around the world how to practice Orgasmic Meditation.

My deepest desire has been for women to have a place to connect, have conversations, share vulnerability and support each other; to heal their relationship with their bodies and with each other. In the ninth Heal My Voice book program, I finally had my wish. For nine months, twelve women from Sweden; eight women from the United States with Marie Ek Lipanovska from Sweden and me from the U.S. co-facilitating an on-line gathering in a secret Facebook group.  We stoked the emotional fires to stir up the burning embers of desire, connection and sensuality hidden within our souls. In conversation and writing, we explored universal experiences of a woman’s body. Menstruation. Childbirth. Menopause. Sexual Desire. We discussed body sensations of sensuality, power, grief, abandonment, trauma, life and death with courage and vulnerability. Our experiences included writing and speaking, healing, reclaiming power tied up in an old story, connection with community, intentional space, deep listening and at the end of the process, clarity around the next step in leadership.

 

You must do the things you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Screen Shot 2015-05-26 at 7.34.35 PMWhen we started to write, I thought I was ready, really ready, to reveal my story: a journey of sexual exploration. It wasn’t until I began to write this personal story that I felt a new vulnerability and resistance to writing and exposing my story even to myself. I found my hands hovering over the computer keyboard afraid to write anything. I had a flood of fearful thoughts: Can I really tell this story? How will it affect my business? Will my organization, Heal My Voice, lose all credibility if I write a sensual story about desire and sex? Can I really write about looking at Playboy magazines when I was 11 years old? Can I write about the desire to have sex now that I am 58 years old and a widow, a mother, a grandmother? Can I write about the sensuality essence that is waking up in me? I had to walk my own path by diving into the places in me that held the darkness of shame and fear around my sexual desire and to write my own story.

This was the ninth personal story I had written in a Heal My Voice or Heal My Voice Sweden book program and it was the first time I was afraid to put my words onto paper even in the privacy of my home with no one watching. That was a clue that I am not the only woman who feels vulnerable to admit my desires, embrace the sensations and to have open conversations. I knew I had to write a story about Sensuality that connected to my Sexuality and to make the conversation visible.

It was the women in this community of co-authors who read the drafts of my story, who acknowledged my courage and who told me to just write the story without the need for approval and without justifying why I felt the need to write it now. Each woman was held with the same love, care and encouragement. And as each woman completed her story, it opened the door for the next woman to keep writing and complete her story. We held each other, shared our voices, one word at a time, until twenty stories were completed. We are in this together…

As part of my 1500 word story for the book Sensual Voices, I wrote about my 28th OM (Orgasmic Meditation). I shared the sensations, the healing, the emotion that was released and the connection with my OM partner. Tomorrow, I will share that experience with you in the next blogpost.

The journey continues…

 

*****

 

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

A Life Powered by Orgasm

Day 12 of 100 days of blogging

(Originally this was published on the OneTaste site https://onetaste.us/a-life-powered-by-orgasm/)

A Life Powered by Orgasm

By Andrea Hylen

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 4.00.55 PMI used to connect the word orgasm to the act of climax during intercourse. As I have been exploring the power of orgasm as an energy source over the last year, I have found that I like this definition better:


Orgasm: A similar point of intensity of emotional excitement.

Orgasm is the energy that pulses through me when I am fully engaged with life. It’s the excitement I feel when I am free to be myself. It’s feeling a wide range of emotions. In all these states, I am in the flow of orgasm.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…fueled me to leave my first husband and break free of old beliefs and find my voice.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…inspired me to home school my children with creativity and adventure.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…compelled me to go to 78 Jonas Brothers concerts in 2 1/2 years with my teenage daughter.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…moved me to host 44 internet radio shows in 45 days—when I had never hosted a radio show before.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…pulsed through me to start the organization Heal My Voice.

Screen Shot 2013-04-21 at 8.47.55 AM“Orgasm” to me is a superpower energy that encourages me to say, “YES!” It pushes me into the world and inspires me with the juice of my desire to experience as much as I possibly can while I am living life.

Do you want to know how to access this superpower for yourself?

Three tips on how to live powered by orgasm:

Feel the Sensations and Listen to Your Body: Develop a daily practice that cultivates your ability to focus and listen to the sensations in your body. Journaling, walking in nature, yoga and Orgasmic Meditation (OM) are all superb practices.

My daily OM practice has increased my ability to feel and hold more sensation. I support trauma survivors in my work. A few years ago, I could only coach one survivor a day. The sensations of their emotions were too intense for me. Now, I coach five survivors a day, three times a week, and I have coached over 200 women writing stories of trauma, loss and grief. My practice has helped me be able to hold more sensation in my body.

Take Action: Start with one step—one stroke, one phone call, one task—and keep building that momentum with the next inspired action step.

My daily OM practice has unleashed more of my desire to speak my voice in the world. When the president of a women’s organization asked me to speak at her conference I felt the orgasm pulsing through me and I said yes—even before I knew what I would be speaking about! All I had to do was take the next action step towards what I wanted.

Ask for Support: It is more fun to share the adventure with other people and receiving help will exponentially increase the orgasm!

An OM practice is inherently a partnered practice. We literally can not do it alone. And I don’t want to do it alone. Asking for adjustments and receiving requests from my partner within the container of the OM teaches me how to connect, how to ask and receive support for my desires, and how to live in high sensation while in connection to other people.

I AM POWERED BY ORGASM! You can be, too.

 

*****

Screen Shot 2013-09-20 at 8.18.13 PMAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Introduction to OM

Day 11 of 100 days of blogging

New York City

An Introduction to OM class

Screen Shot 2015-10-11 at 11.26.09 PMThere was a moment at the end of the day when 30 men and women sat in a circle to share a few frames from an experience of their first OM. It was a class from 10am-5pm with an optional lab, after the class, where people can stay, connect with a partner and have an experience of an OM.

After the lab, we all sat in a circle and one by one finished the prompt, “Right now, I am grateful for…” The answers came in a gentle wave of vulnerability, tenderness, connection. A soft, smoothness wrapped the room where for a moment, our innocence returned. I am grateful for… community, my partner, connection, the power of this practice, humanity, courage to try something new, the teachers, the support staff, authenticity, a real experience of connection.

In a community space, in the middle of Soho, something had shifted in each of us.

 

Let’s Back Up for a Minute

Screen Shot 2015-08-17 at 7.27.35 AMOM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

 

It is a practice

Screen Shot 2013-11-21 at 6.22.09 PMI have been OMing for almost three years now. For two years, I lived in a community and had a daily practice. OMing is a form of meditation and it is a practice. So, every OM is different. There is stillness and excitement and feelings of pleasure, anger, sadness, agitation, and did I say pleasure? OM is a purification process. The practice empties out your thoughts, old stories and conditioning and helps you to release emotions. The practice also fills you up with pleasure, connection and nourishment.

While I was in New York I decided to attend the Intro to OM class again. Probably my 20th time as a student. I entered with Beginner’s Mind as if this is the first time I am hearing the information. I received it personally and as a teacher of Introduction to OM classes where I am co-teaching in Washington, DC. I asked myself questions to set an intention for the day:

What can I learn to deepen my practice?

What can I learn about teaching that will serve the people I am working with?

 

I saw it in the eyes of the new participants in the circle and I remembered.

*It takes courage to try something new and this practice is changing the way we connect.

*Every time I OM, enter as if it is the first time.

*No goal.

*Focus on connection and sensation.

*Regular consistent practice.

*Breathe

 

I will be sharing more about Orgasmic Meditation all week. Check out the blogs all week.

(Photo of circle is from a smaller class in San Francisco. Credit Noah Berger for The New York Times)

*****

 

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

 

 

Transition: Becoming the Queen

Christmas 1975

Dear Princess,

This has always been my very favorite book, the one I take down most often from the shelf. I hope it will come to mean as much to you. ~Gramps.

“You’ve only a few yards to go, down the hill and over the brook and then you’ll be Queen.” ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 9.08.22 AM

*****

My grandfather’s favorite book was Alice in Wonderland and it holds a special place in my heart. I received three copies of the book from him when I was a child. Two birthdays and one Christmas. I think he wanted to make sure I read it and understood the hidden messages. The signs that would explain the secrets of life.

In case you haven’t read the book, Alice in Wonderland is a story about growing and discovering your identity. There are references to time, games people play, rules, life, death and choices. A children’s book for adults.

I saw one copy on the bookshelf yesterday and opened it to read the inscription from the Christmas of 1975 when I had just finished my first semester of college.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I read this timely message. “…only a few yards to go…” and his words, “I hope it will come to mean as much to you.” Little did he know how many times, it would arrive at just the right time to reconnect me with his simple life wisdom. This time it was a reflection of my journey since the death of my husband in 2005. A nine year transition that sometimes feels like a never ending story of releasing and letting go.

Nine years! Isn’t transition supposed to go faster than that? Like you actually “land” in the next part of your life and there is some level of stability? Geez. Every time I think I have found a landing pad and start to take a breath, it feels like something else happens and the road is cracking and rocky and changing again. I don’t even know what a comfort zone or stability is any more.

To be perfectly honest, there have been so many times in the nine years when I have just wanted to give up. Not to the point of ending my physical life, just to the point of wanting to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and not come out again. EVER!!!

And at the same time, the gems I have found from going into the darkness or into uncertainty and surrender have been amazing. You know what I mean about uncertainty and surrender? It’s like the moment you take your hands off the handle bars of your bike, go over the edge and ride down the hill. Hands in the air! Total surrender to the ride. Scary, exhilarating and filled with surprises.

*****

I noticed something recently. It is getting easier to have conversations like, “I have a sense that I am going to move out of my house. I don’t know when or where. I just have a feeling. I will let you know when I have more information.” And I am getting used to sitting in the sensation of someone’s fear or confusion or discomfort when I say things like that. I wait. Notice the reaction. Let go of needing to rescue or explain more, shrug my shoulders, smile and let them know that the rest of the information and the next step hasn’t arrived in my consciousness yet. Stay tuned for the adventure.

So, this blog is my attempt to reconnect. I want you to know I have missed you all in the last year while I have been living in an immersion type experience. Living in a community house with nine people, learning a new practice called Orgasmic Meditation, taking two courses in Sexuality and Communication while running Heal My Voice, and interacting with the Board of Directors as we all step into greater leadership. I have also created a new teleclass series and I have been immersed in intimacy relationship research with a man who lives in Europe. Diving into the experiences and learning.

And now everything is coming to an end in the next six weeks. I am emerging with the gems and I have a strong desire to connect with you and share behind the scenes details of the intimacy research, orgasmic meditation, living in community, the evolution of Heal My Voice and the next projects.

So, here we go. A new weekly blog to share more of the details.

If you have questions or are curious about things I am sharing, let me know. Post in the comments and ask questions.

Let’s connect!

IMG_0985

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a Coach, Author, Speaker, Parent, with expertise in Grief, Healing from sexuality and trauma, Orgasmic Meditation Teacher,  Sexuality and Relationship Coaching, Writing to Heal, Connecting through Social Media, Blogging  and Radio Show Hosting. www.andreahylen.com

What is a Turned On Woman?

Day 48 of 100 Days of Blogging

It is hard to believe that only four years ago talking about grief transformation was a radical, bold conversation to have in many circles. Sharing my grieving process and releasing most of my personal belongings, selling my house and moving across the country was embraced with love, caring, confusion, pity, annoyance and gratitude. Facebook was my first outlet of sharing real emotion that led to writing blogs, 70 articles and 44 radio shows.

One of the areas of confusion for people was, “How could a 52 year old leave her community and move from Maryland to California? How could she live in youth hostels, sleep on couches, live in uncertainty like a gypsy?”  On top of that I had just finished a summer of crisscrossing the United States and Canada going to 45 Jonas Brothers concerts with my teenage daughter. Was I losing my mind in grief or was I breaking free of limitations?

My earlier path:

Homeschooling my kids. Alternative medicine to heal an autoimmune condition in the 90’s. Leaving my 1st marriage. The choices I made sounded crazy to many people. Homeschooling my kids would make them social misfits. Alternative medicine would kill me. Divorce would ruin my kids lives.

None of those things came true.

Thank God I have reached a point in my life where I embrace the “crazy” because I know this IS my path. I am here to question the norm while at the same time living in it.  I see myself as an ordinary woman living an extraordinary life. Refusing to be quiet. Refusing to stay within the “normal” boundaries. Questioning, exploring, expanding to the full expression of me.

I am a Turned ON woman.

Last spring I had an opportunity to be part of a film shoot for OneTaste, a company that teaches about female orgasm. It had been three months since I took a class called, “How to OM.” I could feel the change that was happening in my life and in my body and I wanted to share the journey and give women and men the inside scoop of my experience.

Just so you know, this is vulnerable for me to talk about and I know, deep in my heart, that someone has to start and continue the conversation. And someone reading this right now wanted to hear what I had to say.

Some of the things I shared are included in this video that was just released last week.

Link to Video: http://youtu.be/anM27yRGN3w

Are you a Turned ON woman? Post more info in the comments.

 

Week 2: Receiving from the Men

Day 43 of 100 Days of Blogging
RECEIVING
“Men love to do. Women love to be done for. A man rises to his highest self, the lust of being in his function when he is doing for a woman who is able to receive.”~Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex

I had an opportunity to stretch my receiving muscle again yesterday. All of the women in the house were either out of town or at work and I was at home with the men. The thought of being dependent on the men for the day put me in a state of internal discomfort. Feelings of old patterning around men not being capable of showing up for me. No place to lean in to. I’m too much. My requests are too demanding. But, these men have all agreed to support me in the practice of receiving. Three amazing, open-hearted, powerful, kind men.

First there was the issue of breakfast. Someone in the house has been making my breakfast every morning for the last eight days.With Laurel and Rachelle out of town, I wondered who I would ask. As I was sitting at the kitchen island thinking about how I would really like eggs and toast, Andreas called out to me from behind. He was standing by the refrigerator with eggs and bread, asking me if I would like to have him make me breakfast. Yes! My solar plexus did a flip flop. Being seen. He remembered that I needed someone to make breakfast and he took the initiative. He cooked for all of us and it was sexy and fun and connected! There was music in the background and conversation and fun. The food was great! He even buttered my toast.

Second, all of the men have agreed to support me in something every day that is a connection. They take the initiative and we work it into our schedule. Yesterday there was a preparation in the house for a community party. I found a few ways to participate by finding the tablecloth for the folding table and carrying chairs in from the garage. No housework allowed so I was just hanging out.

Jason was busy cooking and it looked like he was too busy to take time to connect with me. He said, “Are you ready?” I responded with a you don’t have time for this.

His response, “I am going to make time for you.” Boom! Right to my heart. Stop everything to keep a commitment to ME! We walked away and he helped me for 20 minutes while several of our guests and Allegra were left running the kitchen.

The stretch for today: I surrendered and asked someone to help with my laundry. This was huge. The vulnerability of someone, especially a man doing my laundry, seeing my old underwear, hanging my bra to dry is something I have never experienced. In my two marriages which totaled over 25 years of monogamy, there was never a man who did my laundry.

This experience is shifting something in me. I can feel my heart opening and my ability to connect and receive is increasing. Even when there is inconvenience or someone is rushed, if they are making an effort or making the commitment important, I am staying open to receive.

Letting go of controlling how the giving shows up. And most of the time, I am surprised at how it shows up with so much love and kindness and generosity.

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