Tag Archives: Orgasmic Meditation

Living in Flow: What Turns You On?

Day 49 of 100 days of Blogging

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Yesterday, I wrote about “Being Used Well by God.”

To hear the guidance from God, one of the keys for me is being in touch with what turns me on. It is a feeling. Other words and questions for the feeling are: What lights you up? Passion, excitement. What gets your attention? Where do you feel connected? When do you feel alive? When do you feel a sensation in your body that connects you to an idea, a passion and guidance to follow God inspiring you?

 

 

 

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Recently, here are things I noticed that Turn ME ON:

Writing

Nature

Dialoguing

Human connection

Animal connection

Inspiration and Passion

Living in Flow

Learning new things

Learning new things about old things.

Feeling Everything

Feeling other people feeling

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Community Gatherings

Sharing resources and time

A man’s full attention on my body.

Creativity and artistry in the world

Witnessing another person’s passion

Heart centered. Real Authentic moments.

Vulnerability and the connection to Power

 

 

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How about you? What turns you on?

 

 

 

 

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Self-Care: Come Down Pleasurably and Gently

Day 47 of 100 days of Blogging

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About six weeks ago, I made a commitment to host a few events and connect with people in person. Yesterday was the completion of the event that required the most energy and the most “holding of space.” Afterwards, I felt low, “in the down” is another term for it. I wasn’t depressed. Nothing was wrong. I was aware of the need to “come down pleasurably”, a term I learned in my practice of Orgasmic Meditation. Being gentle with myself. Feeling the feelings and having space for some gentle self-care.

 

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Today I am making space for:

A nap.

A walk in 68 degree weather today.

A hot cup of tea.

Quiet, gentle music.

Silence.

An epsom salt bath.

Writing.

Rest…ahhh

 

When you need that space of rest, how do you come down pleasurably?

 

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Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

 

Claiming my Sexuality: I am a Woman

Day 46 of 100 days of Blogging

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I was 32 years old, visiting my parents on Cape Cod with my two young daughters for a week vacation. The transition I was in included divorcing my first husband, a new job working full time as a Project Manager at Johns Hopkins University in Epidemiology and moving out of my marital home into a house I was renting for my daughters and me.

I had a moment with my Dad upstairs and I asked, “Dad, when did you finally feel like you were an adult?” He looked at me like I was crazy. He told me he had no idea what I was talking about. It felt like such a natural question to me. Wouldn’t there be a time when I felt like I had moved from childhood to adulthood? Weren’t you automatically supposed to feel like an adult when you had responsibilities?

For most of my life, the roles I let myself play were connected to being a daughter to my parents and a mother to my children. Neither of those roles allowed for sexuality in my mind. No one in my lineage of women ever demonstrated that sexuality was a part of their lives. I was told to cover up my breasts and not wear anything that was too revealing. Sexuality was not on the table for discussion. Not the essence or the power or the desire.

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My sexuality began to wake up three years ago, at the age of 56, when I started to practice Orgasmic Meditation (OM). All of my children were adults, my husband had died, and I wanted a safe, sexuality practice. I wanted connection. I OMed for eight months before I met a man who I was interested in spending time with, including having sex. My body was awake and alive and I wanted to have sex and to allow myself to play. As we explored and got to know each other we finally had sex and it made me feel like I was 16, not 56. I returned to a time in my life where I felt alive and free with my sexuality; when I began to explore with a boyfriend in the back of my parents station wagon.

The ten months I spent with Axel uncovered subtle places where I had blocked my sexuality.

A moment like this:

Axel: “What’s the sexiest panty you could wear under your dress to today?”
Me: “I don’t have any. I couldn’t let my kids know I have a sex live.”
Axel: “What?! That’s the reason? That was ages ago!. Your kids are all adults.”
And I walked out of the room…speechless. I didn’t have an exclamation. I just know that was the reason for a long time.

Axel loved seeing me in my power. Standing on the stage. Writing. Leading. His attention encouraged me to express ALL of me and I did the same for him.

In the story I wrote for Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire, I claimed that I am a powerful woman with desire. Claiming desire involves surrender and vulnerability and softness.

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Recently, I met a man, a much younger man, who I OMed with in New York on my birthday in October. The minute his hands touched my thighs with grounding pressure, I felt a jolt of electricity. His hands on my pussy during the 15 minute practice brought me into a deeper surrender. I felt like he followed the sensations and knew my body in a way I had never felt before. I felt like he really saw me. When I asked him what he felt, he said, “The minute I touched your body, my hand fit you like a glove.”

He came to see me in Washington, DC a month later so we could explore this electricity and connection. I just wanted to have this experience where we were both filled with desire and we could explore the sensations and feelings in our body.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a woman. Whole and complete and nourished. And as I open to this relationship that is based on desire, sex and friendship, I wonder how many women are denying themselves this kind of real body connection and repressing their sexuality because of the “rules” they were taught about how you have to be married, or he has to be your boyfriend or there has to be some other commitment other than an experience of body connection.

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In this connection, I learned how Orgasmic Meditation is opening my body to more sensations and pleasure and personal power. I experienced a man’s full attention on my body while we explored this connection in bed. Now, that I have had an experience of passion and tenderness at a new level, I have a better idea of what I want to attract more of in my life.

It’s time!

 

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Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #11-#15

Day 45 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 3rd Blogpost in a series.

The first 5 tips are here

Tips 6-10 are here

 

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I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

 

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

 

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Tips for New OMers #11: Get support. Have an experienced OMer you know and trust … or an OM coach … observe one of your OMs with a stroker who is learning the ropes. Skype is an option for some women.

 

Notes from Andrea:

Other ways to get support.

*Join a Women’s Circle. It is a place to get to know the women and stay connected.
*Attend the Community OM DAY
*Stay for TurnON after the OM Circle and go to dinner with us
*Find out how long people have been OMing and connect with experienced OMers to ask questions.
*If something happens in a private OM and something seems “off” contact one of the leaders in the community.
*Get onto the OM Hub.
*Watch OM videos (we have posted some in here.)
*Hire a coach for OM training.

 

 

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Tips for New OMers #12: Drugs and alcohol impair the ability to make and keep – let alone remember – clean agreements. OM sober – make sure your partner is as well.


Notes from Andrea: At TurnOns, OM Circles, Community OM Days, in OM Houses it is a policy to be drug and alcohol free. OM is a practice of simplicity, attention, connection. The element of drugs and alcohol of any kind is adding something to the OM. Also, we are waking up our feelings and sensations. So, OM Sober.
In the OM Houses, there are potluck dinners and OM Circles. They are always drug and alcohol free. If anyone wants to go out afterwards, they are free to do that. Just not in the House and not connected to OMing.


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Tips for New OMers #13: Keep an OM journal. Keep it safe and under your direct control. If you can keep an audio or video OM journal as well. You would be surprised how different you sound / look in a year of OMing!

Tips for New Female OMers #14: Consider keeping a separate Pussy Journal as well … health, appetite, moods, colors. Keep it safe … and under your direct control.OM

Tips for New Female OMers #15: The exact number of OMs you have isn’t important. And … broad numbers can be helpful. An OMer with fewer then 10 OMs will likely have different experiences / questions … then one with 25-ish … 50-ish … 100-ish … 500-ish … 1000-ish … 2500-ish. Generally, I hear similar learnings / issues arise in roughly the same range of OMs. It can be helpful when discussing your practice with other OMers to be able to approximate the number of OMs you have completed. And it gives you a rough experience marker to gauge a new stroker by. Strokers under 25 OMs will demonstrate different skill levels (generally) … then ones with 100+ OMs.

Notes from Andrea:

Keeping a journal is a way to deepen your practice. To bring more awareness to the changes in your body, mind spirit. It will help you to notice and also stay connected to OM as a practice. You may notice trends like stillness, high sensation, emotions, when you feel a new spot on the clit. You may notice that after 25-50 OMs something shifts in your life. Personally and professionally. You may notice that the way you interact with your family or co-workers is different.

I record date and 1st name of stroker and a sensation. Sometimes you notice that whenever you OM with “M” you get ideas for your business or you feel calmer. There is no right or wrong. It is information. Just like any practice, the more you engage, the more you wake up to more of who you really are.

 

Tips #16-#20 will be posted on Nov 21

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

Orgasmic Meditation: Feeling More Sensation

Day 44 of 100 days of Blogging

One of the benefits of an Orgasmic Meditation Practice is an increase of sensations in your body. It brings an aliveness and a flow of energy.

 

One moment:

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Sitting next to my intimacy research partner on the BART train in San Francisco, I touched his leg and felt the sensation of warmth and electricity. The sensation increased and I noticed my hand had shifted to my own knee. I felt warmth and electricity there, too, and the flow increased throughout my body. I paused.

“Wow! I am so turned on by the sensation in my body. It feels so alive and buzzing and fresh and new.” I told my partner to wait on the kiss. I wanted to feel the buzzing in my own body for another few minutes. Then a kiss from him expanded my heart with a fluttering and I felt a sensation of warm honey flowing through my body.

 

One moment:

Lunchtime: There was a moment in the restaurant when my hand touched the table top. I felt a zing of electricity and I paused to stroke the table with the palm of my hand.

I felt a shot of electricity and continued to rub my hand on the table for a few minutes. There was an increased sensation flowing in my entire body!

(none of this was drug or alcohol induced!)

 

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One moment:

Having sex with my partner last night. There was a moment when I lightly stroked his butt. I felt an electric zing from my finger to his butt through his hard cock inside of me and pulsed into my pussy. My pussy was swelling and the sensation kept increasing. More sensation than I have ever felt in sex. Pulsing heat and electricity transmitted into my pussy.

 

One moment:

Sitting side by side on the couch as I am writing this blog, he readjusted his foot and it lightly brushed against my little toe. I felt a zing of electricity move from my foot, up my body, all the way to the top of my head.  A flash of an instant and a distinct feeling of connection. My body feels so alive!

 

Leaving you with that sensation for now. (Even the roof of my mouth is tingling from writing this. Yum!)

What is your experience with sensation in your body?

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Freedom: The Great Wall of Vagina

Day 39 of 100 days of Blogging

 

Have you ever seen The Great Wall of Vagina?

http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home

Screen Shot 2015-11-07 at 7.58.38 AMHere are a few words from the website:

“For many women their genital appearance is a source of anxiety and I was in a unique position to do something about that.”

The Great Wall of Vagina makes for fascinating and revealing viewing which is a far cry from pornography. It is not erotic art. It is not about titillation. McCartney has pulled off an amazing trick – to deliberately make the sexual nonsexual and take you much deeper. One is able to stare without shame but in wonder and amazement at this exposé of human variety.

“It’s time our society grew up around these issues and I’m certain that art has a role to play.”

http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/great-wall-vagina-panels

 

As I have started practicing Orgasmic Meditation regularly again, I have found this renewed curiosity with my genitals. My latest reflections involved this:

I was just looking at my pussy in the mirror and doing a light trim on the pubic hair around my clitoris. Deciding what to do with pubic hair has been a journey since my first Introduction to Orgasmic Meditation class and I feel good about where I am with it right now. Anyway, I was looking at my pussy and wishing I had taken photos over the years.

What did it look like when I got my period at age 10?

What did it look like when I was in my first circle with a mirror and plastic speculum at the age of 21?

What did it look like when I got pregnant with my first child?

After each child (4 live births)?

After menopause?

Before my first OM?

An updated photo at each stage of my life. The same way I have a photo of my face.

 

I know that my pussy is different now since my first OM. My clitoris and hood are so much fuller and open. I just wish I had some photos. And I wish it seemed like a natural thing to do that instead of weird and shameful and something to hide.

 

I would love to hear your thoughts about your genitals. Your pussy. Your vagina. Your clitoris. (And men, if you want to post thoughts about your genitals, I would love to hear your voices, too.)

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #6-#10

Day 38 of 100 days of Blogging

This is the 2nd Blogpost in a series. The first 5 tips are here

 

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I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In a series of blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

 

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

 

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Tips for New OMers #6

“It is a privilege to stroke a woman. You owe no man / person access to your clit.” (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: I have had so many wires to uncross around this. Unraveling old, deep, deep conditioning. When I first started OMing, I felt like the men were Gods and a rare breed I had just discovered. A man who would focus his attention on me and stroke my clit and not asking for anything in return. I felt beholden to him and that I had better be “nice” or he wouldn’t want to OM with me. I would write long appreciations on the OM Hub. Then I had a variety of experiences that changed my thinking to an equal partnership. I began to OM with men who really saw this as a practice and who were receiving nourishment, fulfillment and pleasure.

*My regular Saturday morning partner showed me how he had this longing to connect to women and give his attention. I witnessed how it turned him on in every area of his life. Work, Play, Love Relationships, Friendships. It was gorgeous to watch him open. He was my #28 OM for those of you who read my story in Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire.

*I had an OM with my intimacy research partner after OMing for a year that broke through another level of vulnerability, intimacy, connection. I felt cracked open and I could see his face and eyes got softer. When I shared the experience in a class led by Nicole Daedone, she used me as an example of how a women talks about a man like he is a King when he gives her 15 minutes of the kind of attention she gives him all the time. Whoa! That woke me up. I saw how the commerce exchange was emotional. You stroke my pussy and I stroke your ego. I became more conscious of that and focused on my own experience while trusting that the stroker would focus on his.

*At OMX in 2013, two of the men I OMed with sobbed through the entire OM. One man (in his 60s) lost his wife 8 months earlier. I raised my hand for a coach to sit with us. It was the strokers first OM and the coach helped him stay connected to me and let out the grief through sobbing. The second man was in his early 20’s, a college student. The OM touched something deep in him and he told me later he released shame and unworthiness and fear of being “man enough” during the OM by letting out the tears and the grief.

*Now, after almost 3 years of OMing, I have more access to my essence and that affects everyone around me. The stroker, the community, my family and children. We need each other! I appreciate the practice and I appreciate the men and women who have the courage to connect.

 

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-28 at 8.48.58 AMTips for New OMers #7: Find / create OM circles you can trust. Use them to pre-screen potential new strokers and strokees. (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: Yes! Saturday nights before TurnOn in Washington, DC. OM Circle for trained OMers. Get trained. Join the Meet-up. Connect with partners. A great way to OM with someone for the first time and to meet new OMers. And Community OM Days! I am currently living in DC and there are other communities around the world.

http://www.meetup.com/TurnOn-WashingtonDC-OM/

 

 

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Tips for New Female OMers #8: “Creepy Old Man” energy is a thing. The men your body flags as “red” … you aren’t responsible for. If they need re-training / support, let them get it from OneTaste. (Alutha J.)

Notes from Andrea: Trust your body and also use it for your growth. Trust your feelings first. We enter the room as adults. We use the green, yellow, red system. Green means go. Yellow means some discomfort and I want to push an edge. Red means I am in Fight or Flight or Frozen. Too much! STOP!

Do not OM with someone who puts you into RED.

On the other hand, if you are OMing with multiple partners and in YELLOW, you may be misinterpreting what they are saying or they may be helping you to unravel something. An old conditioning, a deeper desire. (Like the guy in the photo, it says Comb Over, not Come Over). In this situation, trust your gut to say Yes or No. Is there a preference that is limiting you in your life? Are you curious to learn something new? If you are in YELLOW, OM in circle and not privately.

One time I OMed with someone who put me into YELLOW and I pushed the edge and decided to OM with him in circle. There was so much sensation and power that was opened in me. I began to notice that I had more access to my power and I connected it to that OM. The good girl has a bigger voice now!

 

 

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Tips for New OMers #9: “OMing is *not* dating. Don’t collapse the two. Develop a strong, clean practice.” (Alutha J.)

Tips for New OMers #10: I *strongly* recommend *not* dating a stroker … until you have at least 100 OMs under your belt … 250 is even better. This is about establishing a strong practice. 90% of women newbies who dated a regular stroker early in their practice (under 50 OMs) … reported it screwed up their practice … and took them up to 6 months to get back to where they were before. (The OMs don’t all have to be with the same stroker.) (Alutha J.)

 

Notes from Andrea:

In OM we are uncrossing wires, unraveling old social conditioning. OMing brings sensations that we connect with other things. Being turned on in old conditioning means I must be in love, I have to have sex with him/her, I owe the stroker something else (emotional stroking, home baked cookies, sex, a happy face)

We are not used to holding high sensation without taking action. Stay in the sensation of being turned on and wait on the “I want to have sex with him or her.” Let it build. See if you can point that energy to something else without needing to release it. Build a practice and the energy builds so that when you do have sex with someone in the future, the electricity in your body is unbelievable. Don’t rush it.

I OMed for 8 months before I had sex again. And I had OMed around 400 times. I had been in two long term monogamous relationships in marriage. I trusted that the unraveling was happening and my body would open even more.

It was worth the wait. The power and electricity continues to build with the practice and sex gets better and better. (And I thought it was great before OMing! I didn’t know how much more sensation could build in my body)

 

Tips #11-#15 Blogpost on November 14

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #1-#5

Day 34 of 100 days of Blogging

I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.

https://www.facebook.com/theOMreport/posts/889705337783872

In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.

OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.

A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.

 

Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 10.44.06 AMTips for New Female OMers #1

“Build a stable of strokers you trust.”

Notes from Andrea: First, I want to say I don’t really like the words “stable of strokers”. It is a trigger for me. I think the male practitioner was using stable to emphasize stability. So, I left it in the original form. Instead of stroker, I have always used OM partner. We are here in partnership. I encourage everyone to use the words that are meaningful for you. I work with the subtle energy of words.

When I first stated OMing, I had a regular Saturday partner for about 4 months. It was rich learning for both of us. We had a regular practice and once we felt solid in the basics, we expanded our connection with some research. (By that time we had other OM trained partners and had OMed over 100 times each) We did things like saying frames throughout the OM; Fifteen minutes of stillness with his finger lightly resting on my clit; A guided OM (he found a recording somewhere) And he was my OM partner for my 28th OM which I wrote about in a book and a blogpost. It is awesome to have a consistent OM partner.

I also lived in a house with a daily OM practice and a few men were there for morning practice regularly. About 8 men who I OMed with all the time. Before I lived in the house, there were 6 OMers who organized a weekly OM circle in someone’s apt. We OMed 3 times. Switching partners. Sometimes we paused after the 2nd OM for a bathroom break, stretching and a short sharing of frames. I learned a lot during that period and the consistency in a community practice. We all lived in the same area and it was convenient to organize and OM.

If you are OMing with one partner, there is a power in OMing on a consistent basis. Try OMing every day for 30 days whether you want to or not. Keep the commitment on the good days and on the bad. Notice what happens when you feel disconnected and you still OM. Notice when you are so hot for each other and you keep the container and OM.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-23 at 6.21.19 PMTips for New Strokers #2

“Protect your privacy. Be meticulous with your name, photos, videos, posts, location, and personal details. Unless you are “out” publicly … offering OM services (coaching or classes) for money, consider using an alias in online OMing groups. The Internet is forever. “

Notes from Andrea: I would also add that even if you feel comfortable sharing this with people, take it slow in posting personal details. There is a lot of sensation and excitement and woo hoo! energy when you first start OMing. Your body system is more open and sensitive. You have no idea the true power of this practice. So, enjoy it. Keep it private for awhile. Share slowly and consciously. And OM!

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-17 at 7.27.35 AMTips for New Strokers #3

“Know the OM container. Make sure your strokers are on the same page – before the OM starts.

A PDF from OneTaste about Container and Form

Notes from Andrea: There is a power in the container. It helps a woman’s vigilant center relax. It provides structure and timing for the man. It builds trust. It removes the element of commerce. The container also means you can travel anywhere in the world and find trained OM partners who are doing this practice and you both know what the procedure and protocol is for the practice.

When I was living in California, I posted on the OM Hub that I was looking for OM partners in NYC during a certain time period. A man contacted me and we set up a time after I asked some female OMers if they knew him. I checked to make sure he was a good stroker who followed the OM container. I arrived in NYC. Took the subway to his apartment. He had the nest set up. Offered me the bathroom and water. We OMed twice. I put my pants back on. We arranged another time that week and I left. Clean. Clear. Easy. OM Container held.

If you are in a monogamous OMing relationship, keep the container sacred. If you are going to break it by making out or doing other things, then just have sex. It isn’t an OM and you will not reap the benefits of the practice. It’s okay. Just have sex. 🙂

I am attaching a link in the comments section to an article written by Keith Paolino from OneTaste Austin about breaking the container and how he learned about the importance of it.

Some of his words: “I am deeply committed to the container of the OM, and not just because of my responsibility to my strokee and the dance of Orgasm. I understand that when I hold it, I practice holding the sensation that I’ve built in the OM. That the desire to pull for climax, or trying to get her to make out afterwards is just me trying to dump all of that sensation. When I hold the container solidly, I get to stretch it, pouring a little more sensation in, marveling at how much it can hold without breaking. I get to see how much I can hold, how much electricity I can harness and channel into my desire, my purpose, my life. I remember that an unexpected byproduct of this practice for strokers is cultivating integrity. When I do what I say I will do (follow the steps, stop when time is up), I become a someone trustworthy, dependable, solid. The chaos of the feminine relies of the solid foundation of the masculine to follow Desire.”

The 15 minute container article: http://onetaste.us/the-15-minute-container/

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 10.34.34 AMTips for New Strokers #4

“OM is a community-based practice. Network with other women. Find out who the good strokers are. And the ones women won’t OM with … and why. It is worth developing newbie strokers. However if they exhibit “bad OM manners” … let OneTaste re-train them. You don’t owe [rude] men squat.”

Notes from Andrea: A good stroker gets training, sees OM as a practice, listens and responds to adjustments during the OM, offers adjustments and listens to their partner, holds the OM container, has boundaries, has respect for the strokee, . I have never heard a women “rate” strokers on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10 as far as technique or sexiness, or knowing how to “get them off.” That is not the intention when we say who is a good stroker. This is a practice and we want strokers who hold the space and follow the protocol.

A bad stroker tries to kiss the strokee during the OM (yes, it happened!), uses words like, “Oh, baby, you are so hot”, violates the container, treats the OM as commerce for sex, doesn’t have a nest and supplies when I arrive to OM, regularly breaks OM appts, does not listen to my adjustments during the OM and has his own agenda.

I would love to hear from other OMers to see what your experiences have been with good strokers and bad strokers and OMing in community.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 8.29.34 PMTips for New Strokers #5

‘Experience’ is no longer a safe measure. Reports of “experienced” strokers ‘hustling’ women and poaching on containers have increased. Ask questions. Listen to your body. Lechers tend to broadcast themselves. Back in the old days … a group of women would have called them out … publicly. They would either get additional training … or know that no woman in the community would OM with them.”

Notes from Andrea: Again, this is the power of community. Keep your eyes open and stay connected to your intuition and hunches. Accountability comes from all of us telling the truth and calling people out on their lack of integrity. It is one of the powers of OM Circles, community potlucks, OM practice club, additional training, Women Circles and Men Circles. Stay connected to the community and share experiences with each other.

AND LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!

 

Next Week: Tips #6-#10

*****

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Living in Flow: Clues and Initiation

Day 29 of 100 days of blogging.

To read the first blog in this series of Living in Flow: Tuning In

 

On the train to Santa Barbara, I found myself taking a deep, deep breath and releasing a level of tension I didn’t realize I was carrying. I needed a time of recovery after the whirlwind of the year and packing a storage unit and 2 suitcases for the road.

I hung out with my friend Lucky Sweeny, the co-founder of Evolutionary Women, an astrologer and a coach. I spent time meditating, processing, sleeping, getting an updated astrology report on my year and a Pleiadian reading from Lucky.

It was here that I received my first clue of what the year would hold. During the next year, at each location there would be an initiation that would come in the form of an experience, a blessing, or a spotlight on one of my talents and skills and wisdom. A song, words from a person, a memory. The clues would remind me of who I am and point me in the next direction.

The connection to my intuition gave me a sense of knowing what was next. None of this was based on my logical, linear mind. It was a feeling and it required trust. All I needed to do was keep my eyes and ears open and feel it when it arrived.

Initiation:

The definition of Initiation:  the act of starting something : the beginning of something; the condition of being initiated into some experience or sphere of activity.

 

Santa Barbara: Altar InitiationIMG_1729

There was an altar with powerful, spiritual women. I slept on the futon in the living room with the altar pointed towards the top of my head. My crown chakra. The first night, I was sound asleep and I heard a loud clap that sent a sharp, shaking tremor through my body from head to toe. Just one clap and then silence. I fell right back to sleep. In the morning, Lucky told me I had received a blessing called: Shakti Pat from Gurumayi.

 

 

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Santa Cruz: A younger woman’s words

After spending a week with my friend Tomas, helping him with social media platforms; Eating great food from the Farmer’s Market, OMing every day in morning circle, receiving a full body massage and resting, I packed my bags and headed to one more OM circle.

Initiation: A young woman said, “Next time you are in town, I want to sit at your feet and listen. You are carving a path for the next part of my life. I am learning from you.

 

Flew to Baltimore.

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Baltimore: A man’s words and gratitude

Initiation: Orgasmic Meditation training and coaching

His words: “You have opened a doorway to connect to a deeper part of myself”

 

 

 

Bus to New York

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New York: A younger woman’s words.

Initiation: “I am grateful for your existence in the world. You are an amazing person. We have so much to learn from you”

 

 

Plane to Sweden

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Sweden: A younger woman’s words

Initiation: “Look around the room. See all the women who are part of this community. Thank you for starting the Heal My Voice projects. Look at the impact you are having around the world.”

 

 

Initiation of Mastery and doors opening that were pointing me to the next steps in my life. In New York, San Francisco, Baltimore, Washington, DC. San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and Los Angeles. Clues and desires awakening in me. On puzzle piece at a time.

According to the Genome Flow Project, this is one of the cycles of Flow. The area of struggle. I was traveling, working, listening, asking questions and one piece at a time was appearing. This organization I had started in 2011 called Heal My Voice was impacting women and families and communities and businesses around the world. I was being called into owning my wisdom and experience and encouraged to become more visible in the world. To share what I have learned and to claim areas of Mastery.

When I arrived in Sweden, I was questioning if I would continue with Heal My Voice. Was I complete? And then the passion from the women in Heal My Voice Sweden and the dedication of Marie Ek Lipanovska, founder of Heal My Voice Sweden were all encouraging me to continue. I said yes to continue and to co-lead the next book program with Marie. To create a bridge between our countries. We began in October 2014. When I arrived back in the United States, I discovered that Heal My Voice had received tax exempt status. Time to move forward and look for the next clues.

One question was how my training and experience with Orgasmic Meditation was going to evolve or fizzle. I taught 35 people how to OM during that year. But how to integrate all of these different pieces. All I could do was stay open to the question and to wait.

 

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Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire. was the project and it was published in June 2015.

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Building Community: Learning from the Masculine and Feminine

Day 17 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.13.45 AMA few weeks ago, a female friend invited me to a group called The New Masculine Community. When I first saw the words, I wondered why she was inviting me to a men’s group. I am a woman and I work mainly with women in my organization, Heal My Voice.

The description in the group:

This group is for education, discussion and debate. It originally was formed to support a men’s program by Zat Baraka, Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell called the Razor’s Edge that was run in Winter 2015.

Please note:
Masculine does not necessarily mean man.
Feminine does not necessarily mean woman.

This page is for ALL genders and ALL sexual orientations to discuss the topics of masculine and feminine nature in today’s ever-changing world. To help breakdown the bullshit conventions that run us, which haven’t worked in a very long time.

We are a community of people who want to learn more about how we tick and how others. We are here to share ideas and concepts. You might not like everything that you read. However, we hope that it influences you enough to notice your programming.

Having spent the last three years in what appears to be a female-centric practice (Orgasmic Meditation) and being committed to living in community and practicing with men, I decided to hang out in the group and read some of the comments. (I also really admire and appreciate the work of Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell who originally started the group and I know there is a team of women and men monitoring the posts.)

This week, one of the women in the group posted an article about Bradley Cooper (an actor) supporting Jennifer Lawrence (an actress) in her article about the Hollywood Pay Gap. Cooper has been teaming up with female stars to negotiate salaries before film production starts. “I don’t know where it’s changing otherwise but that’s something that I could do,” Cooper said.

http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/10/15/bradley-cooper-is-on-board-with-jennifer-lawrences-takedown-of-the-hollywood-pay-gap/

I feel like that is the point. If we see something in the world that is wrong, we can do our part. Do something. Support someone. Teach a woman or man how to negotiate a salary. Look around and see where you can offer your unique talents and skills. It begins with each of us making that choice individually.

I made a choice in my life 30 years ago to live in community where every person is supported and encouraged to be the fullest expression of who they really are. (By community, I mean finding like minded people who wanted to do the same thing. We all lived in our own family homes all over the city)

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 9.54.13 AMWe were all committed to heal the wounds of what we were taught are the roles of feminine and masculine. I made a choice to look at my own actions and behavior first, decide where I needed changes. I left a marriage because in that verbal and sexual abusive environment, I was not being the role model I came to be for my two little girls. I made the choice to leave and start unraveling generations of patterning about submissive women.

When I first read the article, I wrote the first comment and highlighted words Cooper spoke about seeing a problem and doing his part to make it right. He isn’t trying to change the whole world by  himself, just making a change where he had power. I invite you to let go of the amount of money they are making. That is a distraction from the bigger picture. This is an example of “In my world, I can change this.”

After the death of our son and my own life threatening illness my 2nd husband and I decided to homeschool our children to provide an environment where they had more self-expression and freedom to be themselves. We connected with 1000 families in the Baltimore~DC area. Pooled resources, offered our unique talents and skills, daily interaction and field trips. Stroked out the best of each kid. Male or female. Gave them the freedom to find out who they are. Then, it was up to each child to make their own choices. We laid the foundation.

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.16.20 AMInstead of talking about a bunch of theory about what is the new masculine and what is feminine leadership, how about each of us taking a look at where we can support someone to be the best they can be instead of using humor or criticism to diminish them. Ask yourself, how can I be the best version of a man? How can I be the best version of a woman? How can I integrate masculine and feminine characteristics of creativity, intuition, action, strength into my life? Feel. Think. Open your eyes and look around.

The commitment to your own growth doesn’t end until you die. I imagine that every person reading this blogpost has a desire, a longing for better communication with others and deep down wants to peel away the facade of who you thought you were supposed to be. And underneath, there is another part of you that wants to be seen and felt and heard.

You don’t have to do everything. Do something. Do your part.

We are all in this together.

 

*****

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

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