Tag Archives: New Perspectives

The Power of Hope and Faith

Day 43 of 100 days of Blogging

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

Desmond Tutu

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I don’t remember when I started to share my personal stories but I know why. I wanted to give people hope. I wanted them to know that in the depth of their pain there was light at the end of the tunnel. I shared my personal challenges to show them that there were gifts in each trauma and loss and you would discover more about yourself. I wanted to shine a light so they could see the path. I wanted them to know that other people had survived and thrived and found joy again.

I know that reading stories by other women and men helped me feel grief and loss and that in the midst of that I would also feel joy sometimes.

Faith
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Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.

Saint Augustine

The hardest challenge I ever had to face was leaving my first marriage and leaving my children behind. I knew I had to get out and give myself some oxygen. To rent a house and get beds and some furniture to have a place for us to live. I knew my husband could care for them for two weeks. It never occurred to me that he would fight for full custody. He had barely changed a diaper, cooked a meal, done laundry or been present during the evening routine of meal, bath, story, bedtime. Fighting for my children in court was filled with incredible pain. Somehow, even in the depths of the pain, I believed that we would get through it, that my children would heal that we would survive.  They are adults now and we did survive it. Healing is an ongoing process.

All I can tell you is I survived it. I believed. I had faith. I noticed the small gifts, the helping hands, the signs of hope.

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 3.34.43 PMWriting and processing and reflecting are tools of exploration and healing. Noticing little signs along the way and appreciating moments when the sun comes out. A kind word, a smile, a home cooked meal, a song, a dog’s kisses, a glimmer of hope and change.
 It will get better and you will find out amazing things about yourself in the process.
Blessings to you, dear One.
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315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Free Your Mind: Going Down the Rabbit Hole

Day 42 of 100 days of Blogging
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“Going down the rabbit hole in physics terms is how far are you willing to discover your true nature. Example would be, Why are we here? what is the meaning of life? How did we get here? Did we evolve? Were we once part of another world?” ~Wiki Answers

A few years ago, my teenage daughter and I went to 45 Jonas Brothers concerts. 24,000 miles of driving all over the United States and Canada in 11 weeks. When we started the trip, I had enough money for three concerts. I had no idea how we were going to make it to all 45 concerts. We just held the intention and the vision and resources showed up. It was hard to explain to people why we were doing this especially when it was hard.

I knew in my heart and soul that something was compelling me to free my mind, to open to new ideas and possibilities and carve a new path. I used that feeling to tune into my intuition, to access ideas based on experience and to open to new ideas. My daughter and I drove in silence for hours every day and sometimes through the night. In the silence, I tuned into deeper listening.

Resources and people appeared. A friend offered us her home when we were in Denver even though she was in Hawaii. A friend of hers left a key under the front doormat. We stayed with a friend’s relatives in Idaho. We were invited to dinner in Portland, Oregon by Jonas Brother’s lovers who had been reading my daughter’s blog. We were interviewed by several newspaper reporters who found us on-line. The back up band’s bus driver gave us his hotel room at the Hyatt and the Marriott and the Hotel W. Jordin Sparks drummer, Michael Bedard, and I had a random conversation outside the venue one night. An hour long talk about, The Alchemist. He got tickets for us that night. We were hired by a toy company to film JB fans playing with a toy called Bop-it! New ideas. New possibilities every day.

I learned a lot about living in flow that summer. I stayed connected to the music we were listening to in each concert:

Jordin Sparks singing One Step at a Time.“Take one step at a time.”

The Jonas Brothers, Fly with Me. “Now, the past is gone. To give all I can. To believe once again.”

That summer tour opened up even more of my desire to live from inspiration and to create a new life based on what my heart really wanted.  We all have so much old conditioning and societal expectations that are deeply ingrained in our minds and bodies. The idea of changing the expected pattern is frightening. It means people won’t like you. Or they will think you are weird. They will shun you from the pack where we no longer feel like we belong.
There are layers of this in Maslow’s chart of self-actualization. We want to belong. And belonging has a certain look to it. My own experience has been a dance of autonomy and following my heart and then finding my way back to try to find some sense of belonging to my original tribe and to the communities of friends. I feel like I have lived my whole life in this place of going down the rabbit hole and disconnecting or living an underground life from my family. Finding like minded people and having experiences then finding a place where I am confident enough in this new experience to reconnect.
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“Morpheus: I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.” ~The Matrix
It takes courage to go down the rabbit hole. You would think it would get easier because the people I am closest to would see that I am the same person when I return. Especially because many times they embrace the experience, too. I have influenced new ideas and ways to live life.
But, here’s the truth. The rabbit hole gets deeper. My desires are bigger. Authenticity is primary. Things that bring my heart joy do push the discomfort button for many people. The reward and the reason I do it is the freedom to finally be me. Again and again.
I am still learning to find places to nourish myself when I am in the depths of going into the rabbit hole. I am still learning to come up with a few words and sentences to soothe the fears of my loved ones while I am disappearing for awhile. I am still learning to love myself when I am in the midst of the new.
The only way through it is to dive in and experience the thing that calls to me so deeply. The next rabbit hole.
To the adventure!

 

“Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.” ~The Course in Miracles.

 

 

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Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Releasing Judgmental Thoughts and Feelings

Day 41 of 100 days of Blogging

I was leading a women’s circle the other night. It was the first in this community and I was laying out some guidelines. Confidentiality. Share experience. No advice giving.

I was about to say something about judgmental thoughts and feelings and to not judge each other, when a new idea came to me. Judging each other is a natural human phenomenon. I judge you. You judge me. We are all in judgement together.

Instead of pretending it is not there or trying to control your thoughts, I suggested to the women they become aware of it and learn from it. The bigger picture, when we become aware of judging, is what we do next. Gossip, criticize, shame or turn it into an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

I know when that voice of judgement is turned up inside of me, there is a ton of desire bubbling up and I haven’t figured out how to bring it into the physical yet. Or I haven’t accepted myself just as I am. Because when I judge you, I am actually judging me.

To judge means to form an opinion. Our opinion is based on what we have been taught, conditioning, experience and preference. It is our version of right or wrong.  It is how we make moment by moment choices.

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Try this exercise sometime. You notice that you are judging someone.

Example: She’s too happy or loud and I don’t like her clothes.

Now, turn it back towards you.

*How happy do you allow yourself to be?

*Are you feeling like you have too much responsibility?

*When was the last time you just let yourself be happy and loud?

*Is there an old conditioning, a belief that says women have to act a certain way?

*What is it about her clothes?

*Write down the words and ask yourself what you envy about her clothing choices.

*Do you wish for more freedom? Color? Confidence?

Now you have an awareness of what is underneath all of the judgement and you can make changes…if you wish.

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End the exercise by placing your hand over your heart, close your eyes and repeat over and over, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…”

There is no room in your mind for anything else.

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Acknowledging Your Feelings

Day 35 of 100 days of Blogging

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In this moment, I feel sad. I noticed it when I was walking back from the Metro tonight. It is kind of interesting because I had a good day. The weather in DC was gorgeous. I had two meetings that went well. I put over 10,000 steps on my Fitbit.

So, instead of brushing away the feeling of sadness, I gave it some space. I went into my bedroom, sat still and just felt it. I avoided the thoughts of food, a movie on Netflix, or pushing it away by putting on some happy music and dancing. I pulled into myself for a bit. Spent time in silence. Circling gently around in my mind to ask myself what triggered this feeling? What opened the door to it?

I went through a list of who and what is in my life in the present. Areas of my life including work, play, health, wealth, creativity, personal practices, my daughters, friends, family. After an hour of reflecting and reviewing, I saw the moment when in a conversation, someone unknowingly revealed something. On the metro, I had been playing it in my mind and I could feel that I was disappointed and discouraged. I felt I was working with someone at a Level 5 and saw that their awareness was more of a Level 2 and there was no way to make something happen any faster than it can happen.

I made a course correction and I felt better. I could see a few areas where I am putting a lot of attention and it is steering me off course. I sent two texts. Moved a few things around and let go.

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I turned on Spotify and danced for 30 minutes. Happy, uplifting songs that felt good. I gave the sadness attention and it was ready to move.

All of the feelings and emotions we have are clues. Every feeling has value. If you can slow down enough to really feel it, you will get an answer as to what it is here to tell you.

At the root of all of it is Desire. The layers of feelings are pointing us to Desire. Something that is ready to emerge now.

Ask yourself questions and wait for the answers to show up in the form of clues and signs.

 

*What do you want to create?

*What do you want to expand into?

*What experience are you longing for?

*What cells in your body are waking up for a new expression now?

 

If inspired, share some of your ideas in the comment section. I would LOVE to hear what is emerging for you.

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Polishing Your Inner GPS

Day 33 of 100 days of blogging

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It took me a long time to realize that I saw things other people didn’t see. The first time was when I was in a messy divorce and my husband was trying to prove I was crazy because I had started wearing crystal earrings and learning how to read Tarot Cards. I was leaving him and no longer wanted to live with an alcoholic. He tried to prove there was something wrong with me instead. That was in 1987 and luckily one of the psychiatrists who administered the tests told me that I wasn’t crazy, I just saw things that other people didn’t see. That my creativity and intuition was highly developed and on a psychological test it could appear I was crazy. She wouldn’t let me see the results in case my husband’s lawyer asked me about the test. She was really the first person who gave me permission and encouragement to be who I am and to explain something I hadn’t understand until then.

The biggest challenge after that was protecting that side of me so no one could hurt me (or burn me at the stake.) I found like minded people in Insight Seminars and I began to lead and teach in places like my living room and homeschooling my children in community based learning. I have spent my life questioning things that other people may assume is the only way and the right way to live life.  Themes have been Living from Inspiration and Authentic Living and Listening to my Heart.

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Recently, I arrived back in Baltimore after living on the road for a year, thinking I knew where I was going next. I had a clear vision of where I was going to live and I saw a variety of next steps. Then, everything started changing. Over and over. I felt like a ball in a pinball machine. At the same time, I also had a few things that anchored me. A few pet sitting jobs, a friend’s car, a few work projects. I wrote a blog called Using the Feelings of Failure as a Tool of Exploration. And that blog got a lot of comments. People who read it felt a resonance, an AHA! of “I have experienced this, too.”

My “go to” feeling is “I have failed.” You might feel, “I am not enough,” or feelings of depression, anxiety, or fear. What do you feel when something has ended and the next part of the path has not appeared. That is the clue.

In my last Immersion into the “I am a failure,” I knew that I had tools and resources and a resilience that would help me to discover and explore the next pathway. I went into the basement of the feelings and I came out with more words and ideas and an appreciation for a process that works. As I came back to the surface, I  had people telling me that they were in a transition and two talks I did at conferences: “Using the Feelings of Failure as a Tool of Exploration” and “Tuning Into Deeper Listening,” were things they wanted to explore.

I am a Warrior Goddess who is intensely committed and has been focused on using every experience in my life to grow and learn. I am willing to go into the depths of a subject and topic and then bring out the gems to share with the world. An Extroverted Introvert I deeply listen and observe, feeling everything, learning, trying things I feel inspired to learn and experience. And when ready, I share it through writing and teaching.

So, I created a new program called, “Polishing Your Inner GPS: Carving the Next Step of Your Life.

If you are curious or your Inner GPS is dinging and flashing red neon signs, read on and see if now is the time for you.  The secret FB group is open now. The optional in person workshops are in the DC area on Nov 5 or Nov 7. Everyone will receive all of the tools and resources and tons of support on the community phone calls and in the secret Facebook group.

Check it out here and sign up!

https://andreahylen.com/workshop-using-your-life-as-a-road-map/

No more coulda, shoulda, woulda!

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

I Believe in YOU!

Day 32 of 100 days of blogging

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Tomorrow begins a 21 day meditation series with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. Become What You Believe. If you listen to the daily meditations within a few days of posting each day, the meditations are free. Or you can purchase them and listen to them whenever you want to.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/

I am fascinated about the timing of this topic because Believe is my word for November. I have been seeing it everywhere. Bumper stickers, Books, Songs, Store windows and in random conversations. Okay, Universe, I get it! I am listening and I claimed it as my focus for November.

BELIEVE!

We are all motivated by different things. Positive or negative strokes that give us hope and wake us up. I need the upstrokes and some hurdles to stretch myself and take action. To stretch into the next thing that is calling me to expand who I am.

Believe Definition: to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.

Yes! That’s it.

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Here is a running stream of quotes and songs for inspiration as we enter this month of November together:

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Claus. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will? ~Jon Bon Jovi

Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it. ~Diane Sawyer
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Believe in infinite possibilities.
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Now for some music.
Enjoy!

 

 

 

I’m a Believer:  Monkees

 

Music: When You Believe Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

 

Share your own BELIEVE Inspirations in the Comments!

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

Deeper Listening: Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes

Day 28 of 100 days of blogging

At the Warrior Women’s Empowerment and Wellness Retreat last weekend, we had time for contemplation of questions during a Discovery Walk. The National Shrine Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes devoted to Our Mother Mary in Emmitsburg, Maryland was a short 15 minute drive from the retreat center so it seemed like the perfect time to visit.

The words on the Grotto website: It is a beacon of light, hope, courage and inspiration for those who visit this sacred spot.

http://msmary.edu/grotto/index.html

 

It was a gorgeous fall day and I spent the afternoon in silence. Deeper Listening. Emptying myself. Reflecting. There were no big AHA’s or revelations. Sometimes in the process of deeper listening, we just need a space to be. To give time and space for digestion and integration of all of the thoughts and signs and input around us. I drank from the Holy Grotto water, walked in silence and reverence with the hundreds of people who were kneeling, praying, and on a pilgrimage for healing and sat in the chapel in silent meditation for 30 minutes.

There is a powerful, sacred energy at the Grotto, a place that honors Mary who has appeared in different apparitions around the world. Different cultures. Different ethnicity. All with the energy of love.

Some of the Shrines:

Our Lady of Guadalupe

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Our Lady of LaVang

 

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Our Lady of Lourdes

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Padre Pio

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For some reason, you were drawn to this blogpost today. I encourage you to sit with the energy that was captured in the photos. Let the love and healing wash over you today. I invite you to share your personal insights and requests for prayer in the comments.

Blessings to you all.

 

 

 

 

And a bonus. A song by Rickie Byars Beckwith, Agape Spiritual Center:

 

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315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

A Desire to Be Visible: Women (and men!)

Day 20 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-20 at 11.52.33 PMWhen I watched an episode of Grace and Frankie this summer, I laughed at this scene hysterically until it struck a chord in my heart.

Grace (Jane Fonda) and Frankie (Lily Tomlin) are in a personal crisis and they decide to go to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Frankie: Stand back. I’m about to lose my shit. Can we get some cigarettes over here for cryin’ out loud?

The man moves towards Grace and then ignores her to help a young, beautiful, blond woman.

Grace (to the store clerk, a man):

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Are you in a coma?

You, sir. Hello, hello.

(hysterical) HELLOOOOOOO (pounding on the counter)

What kind of animal treats people like this?

Do you not see me? Do I not exist? Do you think it’s alright to ignore us just because she has gray hair? And I don’t look like HER? (pointing at the young blond)

Frankie takes Grace by the arm and leads her out of the store.

Later in the car:

Grace: Okay. That lacked poise and I’m sorry. But, I refuse to be irrelevant.

 

Printsheets-2At any age, what do we want as women? We want to be seen. We want your attention. We have something to say. We want to be respected and listened to. We want to be valued for our wisdom and courage. We want to be relevant and to know that we matter.

And at a social event, last week. I heard a young man in his 20’s saying the same thing. For the first time. His tender, vulnerable heart exposed. A man who felt that people don’t see him and don’t take the time to really listen. He wants to be relevant, too.

Maybe it’s time for all of us to slow down and listen. Start with yourself. Listen to yourself. Your ideas. Your needs. Your wants. Your desires. Give to yourself.

Then, turn your attention out. To others.

Be the change…

 

Here is the clip:

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315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

An Old Story: Negative Self-Talk and People Pleasing

Day 19 of 100 days of blogging

 

(Blogpost Originally Published when Andrea was a Guest Blogger on Alpha Chick on January 22, 2013)

 

Andrea Hylen: Her Story of Transformation

http://www.malduanecoach.com/guest-andrea-hylen/

 

We all experience life challenges that looking back we can see were the catalyst for living a deeper, more authentic life. What has been your greatest personal challenge that you’ve overcome that served as your pivot point to transformation?

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 1.22.42 PMNegative Self-Talk and People Pleasing.

The greatest challenge, the one that took every ounce of strength I had was making the decision to leave my first marriage. And the main reason it was so hard was my dysfunctional pattern of people-pleasing and putting everyone’s needs and desires ahead of my own. In my family, everyone was married for 50+ years. Marriage was honored and valued as a lifetime commitment. ‘Til death do us part. I felt there was an unspoken pact within the family. The words loyalty, fear and shame were attached to the big “D” word. You got married and you dealt with the dysfunction. If you were unhappy, just put yourself at the bottom of the list and deal with it. Even with a family lineage of alcoholism and verbal abuse and unhealthy relationships, divorce was never an option.

So, when I told a family member that my marriage was falling apart and I felt my heart was breaking, I was told, “you made your bed now lie in it.” No discussion. No questions asked. No concern over the words “I am dying inside.” It was expected that marriage was a lifelong sentence. No reason for early parole. You made your bed, now lie in it. I met my husband at Temple University on the day before school. Both of us were transfer students and there was an optional “studying seminar” we both attended to start the semester on a strong foundation. Our lives were woven together in the first few weeks of school when we discovered that we both commuted an hour and a half to school and lived only 10 minutes from each other. Synchronistic connection. One day we found ourselves standing on the train platform together! Totally surprised. I became a member of his family instantly and we were married after four years of school, work and dating.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 1.39.27 PMHe was a functional alcoholic. Working a full time job with overtime, then coming home, cracking open a beer and drinking all night until he fell into bed. I was aware of the alcoholism in his family and in one conversation before we were married, he told me he would stop drinking. A sign of my people-pleasing. Do not confront anything that might be a conflict. Do not bring up uncomfortable conversations. We moved two hours from our families, bought a house, worked full time jobs and gave birth to two daughters. The birth of our second child, Elizabeth threw me into a tailspin. In the hospital, I remember looking into her eyes and feeling this powerful wake-up call. It was like she was saying, “Okay, Mom. I am here now. Get it together.” Six weeks after her birth, I returned to work and saw a flyer in the elevator, announcing a lunchtime Al-Anon meeting. No more excuses. It was time to tell people that I was living with an alcoholic and to admit how exhausted I was from trying to make our marriage work. I felt like a failure.

The people pleaser in me had converted to Catholicism, walked on eggshells, suffered in silence, tried: cleaning the house, being cheerful, cooking Sunday night dinners, doing all of the child care, grocery shopping and more. My husband was critical and controlling and my own negative, internal self-talk had an ongoing conversation of criticism layered on top of his. Finally, I started to see a therapist and explore the family history of alcoholism and the dysfunctional behavior in my household.

By the time I hit an emotional bottom, I was isolated from family and friends, forgot who I was and what I valued, lost all sense of self, sleep deprived and suffering from a mild depression.

Describe the transformational moment or wake-up call when you realized that life change was necessary? For many, it’s a spiritual awakening, an emotional downfall, or a life-altering experience that shakes us awake.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 1.35.25 PMThere were two pivotal moments that were wake-up calls. The first was late one night, sitting in the kitchen cross stitching ornaments for Christmas presents. Surviving on only three to four hours of sleep each night, I had a moment of paralysis. My legs and feet were frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I cried out for my husband to help me. With his assistance, I was slowly able to shuffle into the bedroom. Crying myself to sleep that night, I kept repeating inwardly to myself, tomorrow is Al-Anon. I just have to make it to the Al-Anon meeting. Pushing myself to be the perfect mother, wife, employee, including making handmade ornaments had driven me to the beginning of a nervous breakdown. The second was seeing a look in my two year old daughters eyes, the daughter who was calling me to “get it together.” I was arguing with her father when I heard a voice in my head say, “This is not the role model I came to be for my children.” I made the decision that I would leave the marriage for the sake of my daughters.

After experiencing your personal wake-up call what were the most powerful steps you took to change your life?

It took me almost a year and finally I moved out of the house. Emotionally it felt like I was crawling away. To get out, I left my daughters behind. No support from family or friends, my husband and I verbally agreed to joint custody. I knew I needed to take the oxygen mask for myself first. To rent a house, set up the household and then resume my role as a mother. My husband manipulated the legal system and tried to prove that I was crazy. He denied our verbal agreement and told everyone I left the children. The first few years, we were in the court systems fighting for joint custody. I learned how to use my voice to stand up for myself and my children. I took energy classes and learned a variety of healing modalities. Attended Insight Seminars that helped me to connect with a new community of conscious, awakening people. Organized book circles in my living room to heal emotionally with John Bradshaw’s: The Family, Julia Cameron’s: The Artist’s Way and James Redfield’s: The Celestine Prophecy. Over time the commitment I made to my own healing, helped to heal my daughters, too.

 

Please share a Positive Mental Shift tip that woman can implement today to support them on their journey of transformation and empowerment.

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 1.46.25 PMFIND SUPPORT from healthy individuals and groups.The funny thing about support is that the biggest thing most of us really need is inspiration and someone who believes in us. Someone who can mirror who we really are and remind us that each day we are getting stronger and healthier. I found support in Al-Anon and in groups of people in spiritual classes and workshops. I had amazing mentors at work and slowly but surely, I found my tribe of people. Now, 25 years later, I see Facebook groups and Pages another wonderful support of inspiration.

One more thing: I know that we haven’t met in person. But, I know that if you are reading this, you are ready to wake up. And I BELIEVE in YOU!!  

 

*****

Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Music Inspiration Oct 18, 2015

Day 18 of 100 days of blogging

Music Inspires me and it is a clue to my inner world. The songs I want to play over and over. I feel the music in my body and soul and it leads me to transform with the energy in the song. The songs are playing in my mind and pulsing through my body. I take a walk every day and feel the new me that is emerging.

 

My theme songs this week are:

I’m a Grown Woman by Beyonce

Confident by Demi Lovato

 

*****

I made a few decisions in the last few weeks to follow more of my life desires in work and my personal life. It started on my 59th Birthday. I took the day for myself in New York City instead of spending it with my daughter and granddaughter. I was there for a week with them and I wanted the day for me. To explore. To connect with adults. New and old friends. I feel this incredible freedom to be me and to embrace my grown woman self. To do what I want to because I can!

*****

Beyonce singing, “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want,”

 

 

After spending three days posting in The New Masculine Community on Facebook, I feel an incredible power pulsing through me. My voice is so grounded and clear and powerful. My Power. Not power over the men and women in the group. Power to listen, feel and speak. My Voice. And then I heard this song.

 

 

What song is giving you a clue about your life right now? A music inspiration!

 

Post in the comments and tell us why.

 

******

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

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