Listening Archives - Page 2 of 3

Tag Archives: Listening

Living with Intent: Frequency Holders

Posted on December 22, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 83 of 100 days of Blogging

“There are people who are happy doing small things. I call them frequency holders. They are just as important as people who are doing big things. Their purpose is to give full attention to the present moment and to every action and interaction with other human beings ~ to be fully aware even in the smallest interactions. In that way, they also change the world for the better. In our culture, frequency holders aren’t often recognized, but that doesn’t mean they are not important. I was a frequency holder for a long time and still am in many ways.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I was working at a pharmaceutical company in the late 80’s. My official job was computer software trainer. One day, I was training an older woman on how to use the computer and the new operating system. Her hands were shaking and she kept asking me, “Is it okay to press enter? Are you sure? Are you sure?” I continued to hold the space, listen to her concerns, calmly encouraging her to press the key and breathe. Until finally, she would close her eyes, hold her breath and press the key. By the end of the hour session, she was navigating around the site, pressing enter with only a slight hesitation, smiling after each section completion and thanking me profusely for my patience.

Throughout the session, I had a sense that I was doing more than teaching her how to use the software and the computer. I was a just beginning to wake up to the power of presence, the idea that our thoughts create our reality and we could make a difference in the world with moment to moment connection. I was going to Al-Anon, studying A Course in Miracles and reading a variety of self-help books by Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer and Lazarus. The sense and feelings I had during the computer training session were validated and reinforced over the next few weeks. I noticed how something was changing in the older woman’s presence. She seemed to be standing taller, laughing and smiling and engaged more with her co-workers.

I knew that something was happening and I didn’t have the bigger picture until ten years later, another woman from that company contacted me and asked if she could come over to my house for a visit. During that ten year time period, our entire department had been laid off. I remarried, gave birth to two children, lost a son to cancer, survived a serious illness myself and was now building community and homeschooling my children. The woman was now divorced, had a new job, and better health. She asked to see me because she wanted me to know the impact I had on her and the people around me. She wanted to thank me for making a difference in the work environment and how it helped her to make positive changes in her life.

One of the gifts to me that day was to remind me that everywhere we go, we have the power to impact each other positively or negatively.

I have had more moments like this since then when I recognized the power of presence to shift the energy in a household just by being there. I am sure many of you have noticed it in your life, too. The impact a person’s energy has in your environment; either lifting people up or knocking people down.

If you are not aware of it, take a moment the next time you are in the grocery store. When you see people, including the clerk who rings up your groceries, take a moment to make eye contact and pause for a few seconds. Feel the connection. Notice the sensation in your body. Notice the reaction from the person. Give yourself a palpable experience of feeling the impact of your presence.

Give your full attention to the present moment.

We talk a lot about wanting Peace on Earth. Did you know that Peace on Earth comes moment by moment from the peace each of us feels inside.? That is the key. It is the Peace we spread to each other. Not just during the holidays in December when the words Peace on Earth appear on banners and cards and on store displays. Peace on Earth is a year round practice for each of us. It comes from cultivating your inner world, by practicing mindfulness, by noticing where you feel discomfort and adversity in your life and by making changes and raising your vibration. Do not discount the discomfort of fear or anger. Feel them. Go to the root of them and pull them out. Dismissing them actually buries them in places where they will fester. The key is to feel, heal and transmute them through forgiveness and acknowledgement.

Then, cultivate the feeling of PEACE inside of yourself. BE PEACE is exactly that.

In 2010, I spent a year writing in a coffee shop every morning. Priscilla’s in Toluca Lake, California. One day, the coffee shop owner came over to me and shared how much she appreciated me. She said, “You bring an energy to Priscilla’s. It feels good when you are here. Thank you for being here”

None of us experience feedback every day about when our presence has made a difference. The moment when someone notices your presence without you “doing” anything. Personally, it is rare to have someone contact me 10 years later to thank me for my positive energy. Or that a coffee shop owner would notice the difference in the energy in the shop when I am there or not. And really that is not the point of this blog post.

I want you to see that you are a frequency holder and for you to become aware of it. Maybe you will be lucky enough to have someone thank you and maybe not. Be it any way. Turn up your awareness and notice the impact your energy, your vibration, and your frequency is having in your household, your community and rippling out into the world. Decide if you need to change something to BE the energy and the vibration you want to be to impact the world.

It’s in every one of us.

And in addition to receiving my words…watch this video. Let it wash over you. Know that you matter. Your presence. Your frequency. Your voice.

It’s in every one of us.

**********

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in Inspiration, Intention

Women (and Men): Your Voice Matters

Posted on December 15, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 76 of 100 days of Blogging

What advice would you give to a group of younger women about what you have learned about using your power and your voice?

Sitting on the Hot Seat in a New York City OneTaste Meet-up group the other night, I was asked this question. My mind went from blank and then I was flooded with ideas. Too many for sharing in that moment. The hot seat and the question penetrated a strong desire to say it out loud. Here are my thoughts:

First, I would like to tell you that your voice matters. Sharing your ideas and perspective on issues and things that stir you is so important. Spend time exploring what you feel and think. Read. Listen. Explore.

*Find several tribes with like minded people. It is easier to find your authentic voice with like minded people. Listen. Practice using your voice. Be messy. Be open to thinking differently! Change your mind. Change your mind again. Each experience either reinforces what you think or it changes you.

*Offer new perspectives and new ideas to your tribe. Like minded does not mean never changing. Share information, dreams, feelings, challenge each other. Find your passions. Discover your unique gifts and talents and use them.

*Cultivate a feeling of safety inside of you. Take responsibility for your own emotions. If something pisses you off or makes you feel tender, then check within yourself to find the source. We all have an emotional history and things can happen that trigger it. So, take responsibility to feel, know, and heal…YOU! The people in front of you are mirrors for your inner thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Don’t expect anyone to fix you. Get in the rock tumbler of life and let experiences stir you up and reveal your bright, shiny essence.

*Hire a coach or therapist for support. Take a course that pushes an edge. Personal growth is a life long endeavor. LIFE LONG. You will keep growing and expanding throughout your entire life, if you choose. Weave in and out of inner reflection and outer connection. Both are important.

*Listen to people of all ages. The five year old and the one-hundred-and-five year old both have wisdom. Listen and then feel. How does it feel in your body? Do their words feel true for you?

Then…

*Take your voice into the world. In conversations, in writing blogposts, speaking on internet radio, on Persicope on Twitter and at the dinner table. Challenge people to have deeper conversations. Ask them what they think and feel. Listen to them. Be curious and wonder why they have a perspective that is the same or totally different from you. Engage in dialogues that expand ideas into solutions.

*You have the power to impact and influence a new world into existence.

YOUR Voice MATTERS!

**********

Posted in voice

Feminism: Awareness is the First Key to Change

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 68 of 100 days of Blogging

A friend of mine, a man, shared a post in a Facebook community of men and women who are exploring the new masculine. His post began by stating how his knowledge of feminism has increased 1,000 fold in the last few weeks. He decided to learn more about the feminist movement and do some research about what rights (money, property, marital and more) women have received since he was born almost 50 years ago.

Women were not allowed to take out a business loan without having a male relative cosign until 1988! Think about how that impacted women and what they would believe about their ability to start a business or be a business woman. They needed a male relative to cosign for them. Think about how men would be conditioned to think that women were incompetent to run a business without the support of a man.

I was eight years out of college at that time, working as a Project Manager in Epidemiological Research at Johns Hopkins and the mother of two daughters. And if I had wanted to start a business, I would have needed my father or another male relative to cosign on the loan!

My friend who posted this information has a new awareness and is awakening to the male privilege he didn’t even realize he had. He wants to take more responsibility for his role in the perpetuation of old standards and he is asking questions so he can change his perspective and learn how to support his teenage daughter as she grows into her power as a woman.

After reading his post, I wrote this comment.

Your words really stirred something in me. My whole body was buzzing as I tried to sleep last night. First, thank you for posting. I know I have so many layers of feelings. I feel like I could write a book in response to your question about asking women to share the hate they feel towards men.

For now, I will begin with this. I was born in 1956. I know you asked women to express the hate they have towards men. More than hate, I would say that I feared men. My mom stayed at home and we depended on my dad for our survival needs. Food, shelter, clothing. We were taught to behave and be quiet when he was home because it was his castle and his money. The message I received was to be good and quiet and not to upset him. Many experiences reinforced that message and that was enough to anchor the childhood fear and teach me to go underground with my voice.

One of the ways I have worked on healing this personally and in my work with women is to look at how the history of not being able to own property or have our own bank accounts is in our lineage. Women were property still ripples into our relationships with women in the form of competition for a man. It is the gossipy, back biting, passive-aggressive communication when women feel they have no voice. As much as men, that has involved healing with women first and building trust in our relationships. Understanding the roots of our lineage and the changes that have been taking place step by step and how we still are in a process of changing that old conditioning.

One of the ways I have healed is by practicing Orgasmic Meditation (OM) for 3 years and by living in an OM community with men and women for one year. I see men in a new light. I have a lot less fear and increased love and compassion. Both Robert Kandell and Ken Blackman, the leaders in this secret Facebook group and two of my teachers in the OM community were instrumental in me learning how to tap into more of my power by supporting me in claiming my personal power, owning my desires and breaking through to reach into the power of my sexuality. That is where I have the deepest desire for living life fully and the “nice” girl had to move to the side. In this OM practice, everything changed. The way I run my business, my writing, the claiming of my sexuality and power.

As for my daughters who are now 32, 30, and 22, I have worked with educating, changing patterns, encouraging their voices, and teaching them how to connect with men. The process of changing my own interactions and focusing on my personal growth began when they were born. I taught them to listen, to speak, to stand up for what they believe in. Leaving my husband in 1987 and breaking that pattern of accepting abuse was the way I demonstrated for them. Things are shifting. New legislation is one thing. Changing the mindset and re-callibrating to that change can take a generation or two.

When I was about to graduate high school in 1975, my mother told me I could do or be anything. Saying that and modeling it or providing guidance for that was another thing. It was assumed I would go to college but I received zero guidance for that and there was still the expectation that I would find a husband in college. I got married. Worked full time. Gave birth to two daughters. Maintained the home. Cooked, cleaned, found child care. Took off from work when my kids were sick. It was insane. Now my oldest daughter is married and has a two year old. She wants her husband to help more at home. They run a business together. I can see that some progress has been made in expecting they both take care of their child and I also see the brunt of the home stuff falls on my daughter. Now, I am her coach. I have been teaching her to specifically ask for what she needs on a daily basis with her husband and I can see the shifting for the next generation. More communication. More teamwork in a marriage. More connection. Her generation will take it to the next level and so on…

What are your thoughts about feminism? What are your thoughts about the changing roles for men and women? Please share your voice in the comment section.

**********

Posted in Transformation

The Power of 3: Supporting Elderly Parents

Posted on December 2, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 63 of 100 days of Blogging

My Dad had a stroke a few weeks ago.

Quick update on physical details: He can talk. He is numb on the left side. No blockages in his arteries. He is in rehab and working really hard to recover. My niece is a speech therapist and she told us that the first six months are vital to the best recovery. He is working hard and making progress and has a positive attitude.

My Mom and Dad have been married for sixty years. She is balancing taking care of herself and their home and going over to spend every afternoon with him.

A few more details:

I have two living siblings.

My sister, Joanne, is 57 years old. A preschool teacher. Parent of 3 adult children. She has been taking the “first shift” of support. She lives the closest to my parents, 90 minutes away, and her lifestyle allows for regular visits right now.

My brother, Rob, is 52 years, a carpenter. Lives in New Jersey. Divorced. Co-parenting three kids who are in public school. His daughter needs someone to be with her at the bus stop every day. He is willing to take a shift and for now he is talking with our parents daily.

I am 59 years old. Entrepreneur and Coach. Parent of 3 adult children. Currently living in Washington, DC area. Teaching a variety of workshops in person and on-line. Working with the Heal My Voice Board President and holding in person meetings to build the 2016 Board of Directors. I will be flying to Florida and staying for a week at the end of December.

*******

There was a time in my life where I would have dropped everything to be there for my parents immediately. I homeschooled my kids and had the flexibility to go on the road during most of their education.

At this time in my life, it means cancelling meetings and events and putting my life on hold. I go in and out of guilt about not dropping everything in my life to sit by my Dad’s bedside, help my Mom and be there to support my Dad’s recovery. I see many of the women around me right now in this struggle of wanting to care for and support their parents and questioning how much of our own dreams do we put on hold. And for many of us, the youngest adult child has just left the nest and we are building streams of income to support ourselves financially for the next part of our lives.

So, the decisions my siblings and I are making are practical. Who is going to help them? Even being real with each other. When is it “convenient” for a loved one to need additional support? My parents have always lived full and busy lives with many interests, and service work and community. So, of course, we are all the same. Living full lives with commitments to other people.

First, our conversations centered around the shock of the stroke which was sudden and unexpected.

Second, the assessment of his health and…to be blunt, if he was about to die or live.

Third, once we knew he was stable, what are the long term care needs.

My siblings and I moved into more practical conversation. You take this shift. I will come down for that shift. Then communicating during each step.

There are layers of internal processing here for me. I have already lost a son and a husband to illness. I have already watched two people I love die. I was the caretaker who sat by each of their bedsides. This experience is familiar and my heart is heavy thinking about it. Knowing what I have learned from losing so many loved ones and letting myself stay in the discomfort of feeling like I am not doing enough right now.

From the loss of a brother, son and husband, I have learned to live more in the present moment. And each additional time I get to spend with loved ones is a bonus. I have learned to keep my heart open and to love fully in the moment. I have to let go when I leave not knowing if I will ever see them again. All we have is the present moment.

Today I am feeling grateful we were all together at my Aunt Ellen’s funeral in Boston in September. My Dad, Mom, Sister, Brother and Me with various generations. Conversations. Photos. Connecting with Relatives and Sharing Memories. It was a beautiful weekend. Lots of sad feelings about the sudden death of my Aunt and so much joy around all of the times we spent together. Love. Gratitude. Appreciation.

What I know today is I have my plane ticket for Florida. Flying at the end of December. Spending New Year’s Eve with my parents and ringing in 2016. Creating more memories. Until then, we have the phone and computer. I have a text thread with my sister and brother. And I have made a commitment to stay in the present and live for today.

Today I am grateful that I have two siblings who are a part of this journey with me. I am appreciating the Power of 3 and how this time, I don’t have to do it alone.

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in Leadership

The Power of Connection: Show Up and Play

Posted on November 27, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 58 of 100 days of Blogging

Some memories of childhood came to me this week while reading a book. The words, “I discovered people are alike in many, many more ways than they are different,” rang true.

I moved 12 times by the time I was 15 years old. We lived in the West, East, North and South. Different states all over the U.S. My Dad was in the Marines when I was born. My mom was a homemaker. Then, my Dad was hired by Pillsbury in sales for the refrigerated section of the company. Think Pillsbury Doughboy. Every promotion meant a move to a different region. My Dad continued working for Pillsbury for 33 years and then retired to a golf course in Florida with my mother.

Belonging to a group is a fundamental need on the Maslow chart of Self-Actualization. So, of course, as a kid, I wanted to connect and belong to a peer group. Moving so much meant I had to keep starting over and find new ways to connect. While living in Dallas, Texas, in elementary school, we lived in a neighborhood with kids and activities connected by an alley way and rows of back yards. Easy to belong. Show up and play. Everyone was included.

By the time I was in middle school in Edina, Minnesota, I was lost. I could never find my place in either of the two schools I attended there. There were moments of fun and connection with Girl Scouts and singing activities in school. But, I never really felt like I belonged in the day to day classroom interactions and it was hard to find friends for weekend activities.

We moved to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania when I was going into the ninth grade and by 10th grade, I felt connected with a purpose. I felt connected to every group. You could say I was “popular” but not in an obvious way. I knew People. People knew me. I was in many clubs. I was Secretary of my class. I was visible. I felt like I belonged. I was well liked and included in activities.

The memories that surfaced this week included a flash of me as a school girl in high school. I reflected on why things changed and when? How did I come into my own in high school? What happened? And then I remembered a choice point and an awakening.

In ninth grade, sometime during the month of November, I decided to stop waiting for people to see me and instead, I saw them. With the holidays all around us, I decided to create an individualized holiday card for every person in my class. I spent weeks, cutting photos and words out of magazines that I felt represented something about each person. Sports, fashion, dogs, cats, nature. Taping the pictures onto construction paper, I folded each sheet in half and wrote a personalized note, a gratitude, something that reflected something about the person; something I had noticed about them. I spent the whole month creating the cards and observing each person. Some of the the cards were easy and some of them took me longer to really see the person under layers of protecting who they were. My intention was to give them something uplifting and my desire was a moment of connection.

Something happened that I did not anticipate. This was the awakening. I stopped trying to get people to like me or notice me. I was so absorbed in this project and watching people and really falling in love with each of them. I could see and feel the beauty, the vulnerability, the tenderness in each person. I started to interact with them differently. I stopped feeling this screaming voice inside of me: SEE ME! DOES ANYONE SEE ME? And instead, I saw them. I felt connected. I felt like I belonged. The natural essence of who I am emerged and was seen by my being.

There is a quote by Maya Angelou that has been paraphrased in a variety of ways, “At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

That holiday season I received the gift of seeing others and allowing them to see me and it changed everything. I became a better listener. I learned the power of silence and observation. I learned how to wait patiently and allow the connections to happen in organic, vibrant ways. I learned who I am.

Do you have a moment of awakening that you are remembering now? Please share it with us in the comment section.

Lots of Love,

Andrea

**********

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Happy Thanksgiving: To eat or not to eat…

Posted on November 26, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 57 of 100 days of Blogging

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States.

Earlier today, I had a little bah humbug going on and I know it was because I said no to attending a Thanksgiving celebration. Somewhere inside of me there was discomfort and guilt, like I should just suck it up and be social and eat tons of food. I have so much to be grateful for, so why was I pushing this holiday away with an outstretched hand?

This year I wanted to stay away from the food frenzy that happens with Thanksgiving. I have been really focused on my own health care over the past few months. Rest. Walking. Eating healthier. Eating less. Losing ten lbs. Feeling connected to my body again. Going to the University of Maryland Dental School every week. Community Acupuncture at Revive in College Park. Finishing some creative projects. Decluttering my life. Dreaming and visioning for 2016. And then Thanksgiving was getting closer and it felt like a pressure, an inconvenience to be endured.

Up until a few years ago, Thanksgiving was always one of my favorite holidays because it felt like there was no pressure. Strangers, friends, family could all come together to say a prayer, a gratitude, eat food, share conversation, crafts and games. It was always an easy, fun holiday. I loved to cook for it. I loved the social gathering. I loved inviting people to my home or going to someone’s home. This year was different. I wanted to do something else. To write. To walk. To be.

So, I did. And once I gave myself permission and compassion and acceptance, the day flowed beautifully. I talked with my Dad who is in rehab in Florida, recovering from a stroke and to my Mom who was at their home preparing to go to rehab and eat dinner with my Dad. My niece got engaged in Atlanta and I congratulated her through text. I texted or talked with all 3 of my daughters and one of them challenged me on Fitbit to walk 10,000 steps. I spent time writing and reading and walking outside on this gorgeous 63 degree F, sunny day. Even walked the labyrinth at University of Maryland, College Park.

During the day, I remembered a few happy Thanksgiving memories:

One of my favorite Thanksgivings was the year after I separated from my first husband. My two little daughters were with me that year, a few close friends and ten other people who were invited one by one because they didn’t have a place to go. For a few weeks, I had walked around the office, around church, around the school my children attended and asked people what they were doing or where they were going for Thanksgiving. If they said, “No plans,” or they weren’t sure, I invited them to my home. We had six people who said yes and then a sudden snowstorm was predicted in the forecast. Four more people who had planned to drive from Baltimore to New Jersey or New York were looking at a grid lock on the highway so they came to my home at the last minute. Of course, I had a ton of food. The house was decorated. We had plenty of room and that year I had Swedish crafts and candle making as part of the day. Music and singing rounded out the event. We all had a blast.

One year I made so many different dishes that three of the dishes never made it to the table. I had a goal of cooking everything in the Girl Scout Cookbook (our fundraiser that year) I made so much food it was gluttonous. I didn’t care. It was the first Thanksgiving after my husband died. We had a table filled with dear friends of all ages and I poured my heart into the cooking and sharing and eating.

Writing this blogpost, I feel a little lighter about my decision. I can feel the fun memories and I don’t have to discount the beauty and connections from those years just because I wanted to stay away from the celebration and the food this year. I can feel the gratitude for all of the support and the love.

I know there are people who are sad today and who spent the holiday alone. Whether it was your choice to do something different for Thanksgiving or a year of circumstances when you were alone, remember, next year is another year. Decide if you want more connection and spend the next year exploring that or like me, consciously choose and create the day you want.

I had a great day. I am filled with the gratitude to be connected with amazing, loving, caring people all over the planet. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

**********

Posted in Inspiration, Uncategorized

Soap Operas: Highlighting Social Issues

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 56 of 100 days of Blogging

I was 19 years old. Home from college for the summer and in need of a summer job. After exhausting all possibilities at the King of Prussia Mall, I saw a sign: Hiring Maids for the Summer at a large Motel chain in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Little did I know the gift that job would be for me and the impact of shaping my life.

First, I learned about following up for a job. I was one of over 100 applicants for a few jobs. After filling out the form, I came back the next day to let the manager know that I was ready, willing and able to work starting that day. She pulled my application out of the middle of the stack, interviewed and hired me on the spot.

Second, I was a TERRIBLE maid, but my attitude and determination helped me receive extra training and I learned how to really clean a room. I received the support I needed to do a good job.

Third, I had no idea how much I needed time to think and feel. This was the summer between my first and second year of college. I was a sponge soaking up all of the information presented to me on TV. Listening to Phil Donahue in the morning and soap operas in the afternoon, I had a whole summer to explore relationships, personal growth and activating my inquiring mind.

Seeing the news of the death of David Canary, an actor, yesterday brought a whole wave of memories about the summer of 1976 and the impact of soap operas. David reminded me of the soap opera, All My Children. (He did not join the cast until 1983 and later became one of Erica Kane’s eight husband’s.) Before David arrived on All My Children, it was Susan Lucci, as Erica Kane who was my greatest teacher. She was independent, powerful, imaginative and brilliant. She had so many feelings and was not afraid to express them! It was inspirational to observe a woman like that.

Soap operas, especially All My Children, played out in my life during times of transition. The summer I worked as a maid. Five years later as a new bride in Baltimore and unemployed for the winter. With each childbirth in 1983, 1985, 1991 and 1993. During the summer my son had open heart surgery and I lay around in an air conditioned room with him during his recovery. The winter I was sick with an autoimmune condition and all I could do was rest. That is when I caught up on “my soaps,” and had another dose of exposure to social issues demonstrated through dramatic acting.

My background as a social worker gave me an interest in watching people interact in relationships. I didn’t sink into soap operas as a way to live my life. I saw them as highlighting the dysfunction and they encouraged me to go to Al-Anon, therapy, and take personal growth classes, to become a minister and a coach. They were food for thought. Soap operas opened me to explore social issues. Erica Kane wanted a career and independence. She did not want to be a homemaker. She had an abortion not for health reasons but because she was a model. (It was the first legal abortion aired on American television.) Other topics were presented in a way that I could learn and also see the challenges. Homosexuality, Drug Use and Alcoholism, Interracial marriage, Anorexia, Same-Sex Marriage. The topics presented in the shows inspired me to read and learn more, to engage in conversations and to explore my own thoughts and ideas; to form my own opinions.

Although I haven’t watched a soap opera in about 20 years, the impact on questioning and exploring social issues is still with me. My writing self emerged during that time in the form of journal writing which led to writing blog posts and stories in Heal My Voice books. The characters and episodes inspired me to speak up and to have a voice.

It is interesting to look back 40 years and see the root of my voice being encouraged and cultivated. The soaps made some of the years with my greatest challenges more manageable and expansive. Getting lost in a character’s life for an hour gave me greater perspective when I returned to my own life. Each episode activated the wheels to spin faster, to open my eyes wider and to inspire me to make conscious choices about how I wanted to step out of the drama and live a bigger life. I used the characteristics represented by Erica Kane to wake up to more of who I really am and to not be afraid to be controversial.

It is one of the reasons I started Heal My Voice. For women to share their stories, their challenges, their dramas to demonstrate and inspire others to use the challenges, see the gifts and use them as

stepping

stones

create

bigger

lives.

**********

Posted in Inspiration

Influencing, Connecting and Impacting Each Other

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 50 of 100 days of Blogging

A Facebook Friend posted this on his page this week: “I find it pure comedy that media talks about Paris but you hear nothing about the attacks in Kenya last April. The media is such a joke.”

I thought about this for three days. Instead of reacting or responding right away, I allowed myself to feel a variety of layers. Although he made light of this situation with a down stroke about the media, I could also feel a tenderness. There was an underlying question or desire about why we value one country over another.

Here is what I felt, noticed and thought:

My awareness about Paris first came through Facebook. The news reporting was shared by friends who live in Paris, have family and friends in Paris, were visiting Paris, or had fond memories of visiting Paris. Two of my friends were traveling to Paris at that time. It was a news event with a personal connection for many. One of the women in my 8-week program was in her home in Italy, about to fly to Paris for a 24 hour layover before flying to California to spend the holidays with her children. She discussed the decision to go instead of canceling. She wanted to embrace Paris and she refused to be allow fear to hold her back.

This event was personal to many people I know personally and professionally.

I am inundated with information every day. Weather tragedies, murders, domestic violence, rape, terrorist attacks. Births, celebrations, innovation, and personal growth programs. It takes time and I make choices about what I choose to share.

I finally wrote some comments to my friend about his post. I asked him to report and share news events on his Facebook page. I want him to use his personal power to influence us. I encouraged him to post the good, the bad and the ugly about areas of the world where he feels a connection. Raise our awareness. Influence and impact the people around him. Social media is a place to have a voice. I told him: “I want to hear your voice! Please share more. Embrace your political science-journalist self and give it to us!”

So, how do we influence and raise the consciousness and awareness? In this article, Evans Wadango says that we have a lack of understanding about Africa. http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/11/17/456342689/why-didnt-the-world-say-we-are-all-kenyans-last-april

Do you think the world’s reactions to the events in Paris and Kenya were different?

Certainly it’s different. More people are standing up for the French people and trying to support them.

How does that make you feel?

We are definitely feeling there’s more value attached to humanity if a tragedy happens in Europe.

Why do you think that is? Racism?

For certain people it may be a bit of racism, but I also feel it’s a lack of understanding. It’s just that people are so used to negative things coming out of certain parts of the world — of Africa, of Asia, of South America. It’s the norm. People expect bad things to happen. When something bad happens in Europe or the U.S., it’s unusual. If something bad happens in some other part of the world, it’s usual.

*****

We receive information and ideas primarily from our culture, our families and friends. We expand our awareness when we read articles, watch commentary, and form our own opinions. Social media gives us an incredible opportunity. To connect. To touch. To be touched. To influence and impact each other and to witness the beliefs of others. To understand.

It is possible my friend will unfriend me from Facebook. I am sad about that because my intention was to challenge and encourage him to take action instead of blaming the media. I challenge him to Become the Media! Inspire us with ways to change the world. His sports reporting is fun and there is more I want him to share.

How are you choosing to influence, connect and impact others? Do you keep your ideas and opinions to yourself? Where are you connecting in dialogue, questioning, exploring new ideas? Are you a pioneer? Are you stuck in the past? Are you carving a new path?

Are you allowing other people to open your heart, to influence you, to raise your consciousness and your awareness?

I would love to hear from you in the comments.

**********

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Living in Flow: Being Well Used by God

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 48 of 100 days of Blogging

One of the things on my ongoing list of 100 desires is to, “Be Well Used by God.” I ask God to show me all that I must do. This desire is a driving force in my life.

Questions I ask myself:

*What am I excited about?

*What are my dreams showing me?

*What skills and talents do I have that I am not using?

*What intuitive clues, signs, and people are crossing my path?

*What topics are my clients most interested in learning about from me?

*What skills and talents are my unique expression and how can I use them more?

I spend time noticing, listening and meditating. I Daydream with God about the possibilities. Then, I take inspired action and assess the feelings and notice the impact.

There is a song we sing every week at Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles describes that feeling and the desire of wanting to Be Used Well by God. It helps me to stay in touch with this desire, to feel it in my body, to cultivate the longing and yearning and live in the flow of being in this space…waiting…ready…able…

Use me, oh God,

I stand for you

And here I’ll abide as you

Show me all that I must do.

…Needing us to shine it’s light as me, as you.

Command my hands.

What must they do.

Command my life.

It’s here for you…

Show me, all that I must do.

Are you being well used by God?

What does that look like?

Share with us in the comments.

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Daydreaming with God

Self-Care: Come Down Pleasurably and Gently

Posted on November 16, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 47 of 100 days of Blogging

About six weeks ago, I made a commitment to host a few events and connect with people in person. Yesterday was the completion of the event that required the most energy and the most “holding of space.” Afterwards, I felt low, “in the down” is another term for it. I wasn’t depressed. Nothing was wrong. I was aware of the need to “come down pleasurably”, a term I learned in my practice of Orgasmic Meditation. Being gentle with myself. Feeling the feelings and having space for some gentle self-care.

Today I am making space for:

A nap.

A walk in 68 degree weather today.

A hot cup of tea.

Quiet, gentle music.

Silence.

An epsom salt bath.

Writing.

Rest…ahhh

When you need that space of rest, how do you come down pleasurably?

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Self-Care

« Older Entries Recent Entries »