Jump!
Thanks to Christine Hammond for sponsoring the blog today. (Love ya!)
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I went to bed last night feeling defeated. We are home in Baltimore for 24 hours. We are staying in the house that I thought would have been sold in June until the contract fell apart when the woman lost her job of 21 years.
My friend has a few nights to go home while we figure this out.
I have needed to pay the mortgage for three months longer than I had anticipated. We are living on the edge, not knowing moment to moment if we can go on financially. Several people have paid for sponsoring the blog and being a part of the adventure. I received a loan. I have sold some copies of a book I co-authored.
I have been unable to attract corporate sponsors. I know that this is a great advertising opportunity for the right company. An ad on the blog. A logo on our business cards. A logo on the car.I know there is a creative way to do this. But, last night I was discouraged and couldn’t see any open doors.
Two days ago, I connected with my sister and her family in NYC. She lives in Florida. We live in Maryland. Our summer plans created a moment for our paths to cross and have lunch at my favorite NYC restaurant-Picante’s on Broadway between W. 139th and W. 140th Street in Hamilton Heights, Manhattan. Delicious Mexican food.
As my brother-in-law, Pat and my sister, Joanne asked me questions about where and when and how, I had a flashback to several other moments in my life. They were all moments when I felt I needed to move forward with something even when I didn’t have the answers, even when I didn’t know the when and how and what. We are a family of planners and I am living in the now. I only know a day or two in advance. I know where the Jonas Brothers are going for their concerts, but I do not know how I will get there.
During the conversation, I had a flashback to when I decided to home school my children in 1996, I had been seriously ill for two years. At the moment of this epiphany, I was laying in isolation in a hospital room, unable to walk. The doctors were not sure if I had a bacterial infection. I knew it was the new medication. I hadn’t felt well since I started taking it three weeks earlier. I had arrived at the hospital by ambulance due to the fact that I could not walk.
I vowed in that moment that I would get well. Every fiber of my being knew that I would love myself to wellness. I would take charge of this and I would surrender to the journey and find the answers. And then, as if a light bulb went off in my head. I decided to home school my kids.
I announced this to the nurse who was caring for me on that day. I announced it to my husband. They nodded approval and feigned interest, but their eyes said it all. They all thought I was dying and this was one last crazy idea.
I DID get well. I DID surrender and take charge and listened for the answers. And 14 years later, I am still home schooling my youngest daughter. It has been an amazing journey. My life has been full of a richness I would not have had if I had not followed my heart.
As I sat in the restaurant, two days ago, I reminded myself of this epiphany and we talked about the journey from uncertainty that led to the journey.
Last night, I read the comments on Hannah’s blog and my blog. I thought of the amazing connections we have made and I knew that we must go on! But, how…
I awoke this morning with words from one of Jordin Sparks songs when everyone says, Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump… Over and over, I heard the words playing in my head all morning.
If these were just concerts, just a frivolous summer trip, I would never have begun this. But, something is calling us to keep moving forward. You, the reader, are calling us to this journey. Hannah and I are on this journey for all of us. It is about following a dream, living in infinite possibilities, opening to inspiration and creativity. It is about meeting you and sharing the journey and finding new ways to sustain ourselves as we travel from one end of the country to the other.
With the uncertainty of where the money is going to come from, I am pushed and stretched to try new things, to ask for help, to surrender to the journey, to take action, to listen.
Hannah and I leave for Pittsburgh in the morning. We have enough money to get to Kansas City. And in the next five days we will submit a book proposal, contact the Maryland Film Institute to see if anyone wants to use our house for a film. We will talk with the realtor, consider renting rooms, call companies to find the sponsorship. We will surrender and open to the gifts of the Universe along the way.
And we will meet you along the way.