Day 52 of 100 days of Blogging
This is the 4th Blogpost in a series.
Tips #1-#5 are here
Tips #6-#10 are here
Tips #11-#15 are here
I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.
In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.
OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.
A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.
Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.
Tips for New OMers #16: When discussing your OMs with others … anonymize your partners: “my stroker moved his finger ____.” Don’t say their name. People’s need for privacy / security may fluctuate greatly. Remember … they are your stroker … not your boyfriend / girlfriend. Social circles intersect these days in surprising ways.
Notes from Andrea: Guilty! This was one of the wires I had to uncross. Looking back, it was the ego stroking and it was commerce. My ecstatic gratitude to be touched and receive the attention, even when the OMs really felt meditative and not sexual, I was thanking my strokers, by name, all over the OM Hub (which was on Facebook at the time) And I wasn’t the only one. We were all high on Orgasm and we wanted to love each other up! So…remember that everyone has different privacy needs and this is not dating and keep it simple. You can share your experience in an OM, just no posting names and nothing that identifies the OM partner.
Tips for New Female OMers #18: If your period comes, and you wish to OM … OM. Safeport your partner. Some newbie strokers may be squeamish … it is an archaic cultural thing. Respect their right range … if they pass on OMing … it won’t be about you. Every experienced (100+) strokers I know have *no* problem with stroking women during their period. Women on their flow often have “energetic release” OMs … and it may help some women alleviate cramps. Depending on flow … consider using a larger towel. Menses is part of having a pussy … celebrate it!
Tips for New Female OMers #19: OneTaste (for marketing purposes) went through a phase where they didn’t mention using gloves as an essential element of an OM. This was an unfortunate decision on their part. Gloves are strongly recommended. There are some strokers who haven’t gotten the memo (see the new OT Container doc) … and think they “know best.” For safety and hygiene: have your stroker use gloves. Even in a solitary, committed partnership … like a marriage. Your hubby may have a host of pussy-unfriendly bacteria on his hands on any given day. Use gloves – hygiene is a way to signal respect.
(Note from Andrea: It also separates it as a practice and not sex)
Tips for New Female OMers #20: Know what gloves your pussy likes / dislikes. Keep a stash of your favs on hand – in different sizes … in case a guest stroker comes by.
Tips for New Female OMers #21: Have your stroker always wash his / her hands before OMing starts. And keep those fingernails clipped close and clean.
Notes from Andrea: One of the most powerful things we can change in our communication is more consciousness around our interactions and asking for what we want. Women using their voice. Connecting with men. Consideration for each other.
True confession: I got pregnant at the age of 19 because I was embarrassed to let the “one night stand” I was sleeping with know that I wasn’t on birth control pills and we needed to use a condom. I didn’t want to bother or trouble or inconvenience him. Geez! He was so hot, I put that before taking care of myself. It was a foolish decision and it woke me up and started my personal growth journey. I had an abortion and basically it shook me into: WTF are you doing?!?
Forty years later, the journey with asking a man for what I need and want in the OM nest and in bed are still waking up. It gets easier and easier even when a stroker does not “like” the adjustment I asked for. Using my voice to ask for what I want.
Tips on Gloves: Use gloves, even if you are in a relationship with someone. It keeps OM as a practice and separate from sex. Keep gloves on hand.
Ask your stroker to keep his nails clipped. It is amazing how an unclipped stroking finger can feel like shards of glass on the clit and an unclipped thumb nail can leave an abrasion in the introitus.
Tips #22-#25 next week!
Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.
She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.