Tag Archives: Blogging

Living in Flow: What is Flow?

Day 16 of 100 days of blogging

Taking a pause today to add some definition to the word Flow.

Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 7.39.13 PMStudies have shown that flow is one stage in a Flow Cycle. Steven Kotler is a researcher and author who has given us some words for what happens in the flow cycle and how to do things to jumpstart and trigger the flow step.

 

Flow Cycle: (You have to return through all 4 parts of the cycle before returning to flow.)

Struggle: Loading with new information.

Release or Relaxtion: Take your mind off the problem.

Flow: You are in the flow state (In the zone)

Recovery: Go into a low feeling.

The power in the cycle is to learn how to move through struggle and recover better.

 

 

There are 17 triggers or preconditions that bring on more flow.

 

Psychological Triggers:

Intensely Focused Attention

Clear Goals

Immediate Feedback

The Challenge/Skills Ratio

 

Environmental Triggers:

High Consequences

Rich Environment

Deep Embodiment

 

Social Triggers:

Serious Concentration

Shared, Clear Goals

Good Communication

Familiarity

Equal Participation and Skill Level

Risk

Sense of Control

Close Listening

Always Say Yes

 

Creative Trigger

Creativity (Pattern Recognition and Risk Taking

 

 

 

For more information go to the Flow Genome Project

http://www.flowgenomeproject.co/

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

 

Living in Flow: Tuning In

Day 15 of 100 days of Blogging

IMG_1720Los Angeles. March 2014.

I had been living in a community house for 10 months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and my bedroom in the garage apartment. I wanted to live there forever.

One day I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicated with me. I stopped and asked the question, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer.

An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, down my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week. When I didn’t receive any other “signs” or “messages”, I decided to take some action by going through my 10 x 10 storage unit and everything in my apartment space.

IMG_1689Over the next six weeks, I lived my life and in between daily work and play, I reviewed every piece of paper and every thing I owned. At the end of the six weeks, I gave away 14 boxes of personal belongings and 6 bags of clothes.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. There were numerous conversations as a household and with individuals who felt aligned for the next living space. The ten of us finally dispersed to move into three different places in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. To have conversations, to live life, to finish incomplete projects and to collect ideas, wisdom, for the next step.

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, and fear in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in another adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice to expand my business and to discover the next steps. I was open to where I would be led to learn and discover new things about myself and about the world. I needed time to integrate all of the changes over the last nine years and to be ready for the next steps. At each location, I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone, to be in the present moment, to listen and learn and speak when inspired.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend Lucky Sweeny and the possibility of staying with her for 5 days in Santa Barbara. I knew I had a class in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me spontaneously and I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how perfect the timing was. The rest of the month she would be busy or out of town.

During the next week, I began to have feelings and a sense of inner knowing about the general location.

June: Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, San Franciscoo

July: East Coast

August: Sweden

September: East Coast

October-December: West Coast

I made a few calls. Stated my feelings and desire. Received invitations with open arms and enthusiasm and packed my bags.

On June 1, 2014 I stood outside of my community house at 6am, taking a moment of gratitude and then climbed into my daughter’s car for a ride to the train station in Burbank. And so began a year of living in flow on the road…

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Orgasmic Meditation: Exploring our Bodies

Day 13 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-13 at 7.45.25 AMIn college, I studied Human Sexuality as part of my Social Work degree from Temple University. Reading the book, “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” written by the Boston Women’s Health Collective was the first time I can remember hearing the voices of women sharing their experiences with vulnerability and information about a woman’s body. One evening, I sat in a woman’s circle where every woman was handed a plastic speculum, a mirror, a flashlight and lubrication. We were taught how to do the breast exam and pelvic exam on ourselves. All of the women took off their pants and underwear, lay down on blankets and pillows and prepared to follow the step-by-step instructions to touch and examine our own bodies. I remember the exclamations of awe and joy and tears when a woman saw her cervix for the first time. Women empowering women in a circle gathering. That was 1978 and I was 22 years old.

During the late 90’s, I taught medical students at Johns Hopkins University how to do the pelvic and breast exam, first with words and instructions. Then I gave each of them a hands-on-experience, using my body as a practice patient. Dressed in a hospital gown, I taught them how to hold and use the speculum, guiding their hands to insert the speculum into my vagina with me as their first patient. I talked about the importance of creating a safe environment and using a gentle touch to preserve each woman’s dignity. In five years of teaching, I had over 500 pelvic and breast exams with 500 different medical students.

In 2013, I entered a new experience with my body when I was introduced to a 15 minute partnered practice called Orgasmic Meditation (OM). In this partnered practice with a man, I experienced the potential for us to heal our sexuality through better communication, attention and connection. No goal. 15 minutes of connection, sensation and the awakening of desire. I practiced OM with multiple partners in a safe community environment and learned how to teach the technique by taking courses with a company called OneTaste. I have now taught individuals and partners around the world how to practice Orgasmic Meditation.

My deepest desire has been for women to have a place to connect, have conversations, share vulnerability and support each other; to heal their relationship with their bodies and with each other. In the ninth Heal My Voice book program, I finally had my wish. For nine months, twelve women from Sweden; eight women from the United States with Marie Ek Lipanovska from Sweden and me from the U.S. co-facilitating an on-line gathering in a secret Facebook group.  We stoked the emotional fires to stir up the burning embers of desire, connection and sensuality hidden within our souls. In conversation and writing, we explored universal experiences of a woman’s body. Menstruation. Childbirth. Menopause. Sexual Desire. We discussed body sensations of sensuality, power, grief, abandonment, trauma, life and death with courage and vulnerability. Our experiences included writing and speaking, healing, reclaiming power tied up in an old story, connection with community, intentional space, deep listening and at the end of the process, clarity around the next step in leadership.

 

You must do the things you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Screen Shot 2015-05-26 at 7.34.35 PMWhen we started to write, I thought I was ready, really ready, to reveal my story: a journey of sexual exploration. It wasn’t until I began to write this personal story that I felt a new vulnerability and resistance to writing and exposing my story even to myself. I found my hands hovering over the computer keyboard afraid to write anything. I had a flood of fearful thoughts: Can I really tell this story? How will it affect my business? Will my organization, Heal My Voice, lose all credibility if I write a sensual story about desire and sex? Can I really write about looking at Playboy magazines when I was 11 years old? Can I write about the desire to have sex now that I am 58 years old and a widow, a mother, a grandmother? Can I write about the sensuality essence that is waking up in me? I had to walk my own path by diving into the places in me that held the darkness of shame and fear around my sexual desire and to write my own story.

This was the ninth personal story I had written in a Heal My Voice or Heal My Voice Sweden book program and it was the first time I was afraid to put my words onto paper even in the privacy of my home with no one watching. That was a clue that I am not the only woman who feels vulnerable to admit my desires, embrace the sensations and to have open conversations. I knew I had to write a story about Sensuality that connected to my Sexuality and to make the conversation visible.

It was the women in this community of co-authors who read the drafts of my story, who acknowledged my courage and who told me to just write the story without the need for approval and without justifying why I felt the need to write it now. Each woman was held with the same love, care and encouragement. And as each woman completed her story, it opened the door for the next woman to keep writing and complete her story. We held each other, shared our voices, one word at a time, until twenty stories were completed. We are in this together…

As part of my 1500 word story for the book Sensual Voices, I wrote about my 28th OM (Orgasmic Meditation). I shared the sensations, the healing, the emotion that was released and the connection with my OM partner. Tomorrow, I will share that experience with you in the next blogpost.

The journey continues…

 

*****

 

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

A Life Powered by Orgasm

Day 12 of 100 days of blogging

(Originally this was published on the OneTaste site https://onetaste.us/a-life-powered-by-orgasm/)

A Life Powered by Orgasm

By Andrea Hylen

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 4.00.55 PMI used to connect the word orgasm to the act of climax during intercourse. As I have been exploring the power of orgasm as an energy source over the last year, I have found that I like this definition better:


Orgasm: A similar point of intensity of emotional excitement.

Orgasm is the energy that pulses through me when I am fully engaged with life. It’s the excitement I feel when I am free to be myself. It’s feeling a wide range of emotions. In all these states, I am in the flow of orgasm.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…fueled me to leave my first husband and break free of old beliefs and find my voice.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…inspired me to home school my children with creativity and adventure.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…compelled me to go to 78 Jonas Brothers concerts in 2 1/2 years with my teenage daughter.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…moved me to host 44 internet radio shows in 45 days—when I had never hosted a radio show before.

It is the Power of Orgasm that:

…pulsed through me to start the organization Heal My Voice.

Screen Shot 2013-04-21 at 8.47.55 AM“Orgasm” to me is a superpower energy that encourages me to say, “YES!” It pushes me into the world and inspires me with the juice of my desire to experience as much as I possibly can while I am living life.

Do you want to know how to access this superpower for yourself?

Three tips on how to live powered by orgasm:

Feel the Sensations and Listen to Your Body: Develop a daily practice that cultivates your ability to focus and listen to the sensations in your body. Journaling, walking in nature, yoga and Orgasmic Meditation (OM) are all superb practices.

My daily OM practice has increased my ability to feel and hold more sensation. I support trauma survivors in my work. A few years ago, I could only coach one survivor a day. The sensations of their emotions were too intense for me. Now, I coach five survivors a day, three times a week, and I have coached over 200 women writing stories of trauma, loss and grief. My practice has helped me be able to hold more sensation in my body.

Take Action: Start with one step—one stroke, one phone call, one task—and keep building that momentum with the next inspired action step.

My daily OM practice has unleashed more of my desire to speak my voice in the world. When the president of a women’s organization asked me to speak at her conference I felt the orgasm pulsing through me and I said yes—even before I knew what I would be speaking about! All I had to do was take the next action step towards what I wanted.

Ask for Support: It is more fun to share the adventure with other people and receiving help will exponentially increase the orgasm!

An OM practice is inherently a partnered practice. We literally can not do it alone. And I don’t want to do it alone. Asking for adjustments and receiving requests from my partner within the container of the OM teaches me how to connect, how to ask and receive support for my desires, and how to live in high sensation while in connection to other people.

I AM POWERED BY ORGASM! You can be, too.

 

*****

Screen Shot 2013-09-20 at 8.18.13 PMAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

You Decide: Choices Create Your Life

Day 10 of 100 days of blogging

Queens, New York

October 10, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.00.26 PMWatching Bob’s Burgers with my granddaughter Lucille this morning, I was inspired to write a blog about the episode when it is Linda’s birthday. Linda is the Mom. (Episode is called Eat, Spray Linda. Season 5. Episode 18)

Linda wakes up remembering it is her birthday. She tries to bury her head under the pillow and stay in bed to avoid the day. When the family tells her they are working on a surprise and she has to leave the house, Linda goes out to the grocery store where a series of mishaps occur. Keys locked in car with her cell phone and purse. Pants rip in the butt. No one in the grocery store will help her. Catches a bus going in the wrong direction. Sprayed by a skunk twice. It is a day of total chaos and Linda digs deep and conquers one challenge after another.

At the end of the day, bathing in a tub filled with tomato juice, her husband (Bob) tells her, ” Sorry your birthday was horrible.” She says, “Hey! Don’t be sorry. This was the best birthday ever!” She goes on to tell him that this is a new tradition. “Every year on my birthday, you blindfold me. Drop me off at a location with no cell phone and no money and I have to find my way home.”

I love Linda! She has this way of seeing the sunshine in adversity. Linda made the best of the chaotic situation and ignited a part of her that had been dormant. She came alive!

What if we all embraced adversity and challenges with this exuberance? What could we create in our lives and in the world?

 

You Decide.

The show reminded me of something I shared in the 30 days of writing program for this month:

It may feel like you have had no choice at different times in your life. You didn’t decide your life circumstances. You had another plan and it looked nothing like this! You may feel as if you lost control of your life. And at the same time you still have choices. You get to decide who you are going to be in this moment. You get to decide how you are going to respond and to be in the moment of what is happening.

On the community call yesterday I talked about my son and the power of the gifts I learned from his birth and his death and his illness. He was my teacher. Twenty-two years later, I continue to reach into that bag of gifts over and over. I may have moments of sadness. That’s okay. When someone you love dies, you will have moments of sadness. Even twenty years later. Reaching into that time period also reminds me of things that were revealed about who I really am.

When we are presented with challenges, we can find the gifts.

I first found out about my son’s heart condition when I was seven months pregnant with him and I was driving to drop off a report for a consulting job. When I got off the cell phone, I started pounding on the steering wheel and crying out in pain. Why God? Why me? Why him? Haven’t I had enough challenges in this lifetime? More than my fair share? Why, why, why?

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.44.29 PMAfter a few hours of feeling like this, I made a decision. I am powerless over this situation and I can still take charge of my life. I decided I was here to support my son and I would cross- stitch angels. Every stitch would be a prayer. It would be a blessing to Cooper, to our family and friends, to everyone who we would meet. In the 19 months of his life, I cross stitched elaborate angels with tiny, tiny stitches and big, big prayers.

This is actually how you change and transform. You are presented with a life experience and YOU DECIDE who you are going to be. Then you practice it. Over and over until one day you are transformed. Caterpillar to butterfly.

 

New Perspectives

Like Linda on Bob’s Burgers and the challenges she had on her birthday or the experiences we all have when we feel powerless or out of control, we have a choice. To embrace the experience and find out new things about ourselves or to shut down and give up.

I encourage you to get a new perspective and challenge yourself. You never know what surprises are laying within you!

 

*****

315353_10201052497332086_1044127686_nAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

The Power of Aging: Preparing for the Next Decade

Day 9 of 100 days of blogging

New York City
October 9, 2015
Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 7.49.28 AM
I had a great birthday yesterday. I mean, really great! Connecting with myself, with people and all on my own terms. I was going to go to a museum in New York City and then the coffee shop in the East Village felt so good and my words were flowing; I stayed in the moment and kept writing. The day ended at a Community Potluck with the surprise of cupcakes and the Happy Birthday song!

Leading up to this birthday was not fun. It actually felt pretty scary and I had a lot of feelings and fears and confusion in the last year. In the past, I have embraced every decade. Turning 40 and 50 was exciting. I have always felt like things were getting better and there was an adventure around every corner. Until this year…

The fears were about turning 60 next year and a fear of dying. My husband, my best girlfriend and a friend’s husband all died at 60. I have had a lot of stories about this new fear. I have let myself the feelings fully and stirred them around to get to the root. The fear is not about the actual dying. I feel like it will be cool to be in another dimension of time. I believe that life goes on. And if for some reason it doesn’t, I have lived a good life and I will return to dust.
The fear is that I will not finish what I came here to do. That I will not finish the journey of becoming the woman I want to become. To leave a new type of role model for my daughters and my granddaughter and the generations of women to come after me. To leave a legacy. I left my first husband after realizing that I was not being the woman I wanted to be for my daughters. That desire has led me to be a warrior with my personal growth. Thirty years of learning and growing and making different choices. Inside of me I have another 49 years of ideas to implement and there are a few more hurdles I want to transmute and alchemize into gold before I leave.

 My 59th birthday yesterday was a turning point. A willingness to transform the fears andScreen Shot 2015-10-09 at 8.15.59 AM live fully right now. When my husband turned 59, he already had an aversion to turning “60”. I told him, why don’t we celebrate every month and ring in the next decade?

 This week, I decided to take my own advice. I spent the day ringing in the next decade. Everywhere I went, I told people it was my birthday. I received all of the birthday blessings. I spent time alone and I spent time in a community where I can bring all of me.
I am making a note on the calendar each month to spend a day celebrating my life. (In addition to the celebration of every breath) The power is in the simplicity. Celebrate. Be in the present moment. The idea is to pause and do something on that day that fills me up. Welcome in the next frontier. The decade of 60.

It is not the end. It is the beginning.

I am surrendering to life in a deeper way. Every experience has prepared me for this time. In my heart, I feel like I am just getting started. There is a power in aging.
And so it is!

*****

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

*****

Living in Flow: Courage to Listen

Day 7 of 100 days of blogging

IMG_0235

When I first wrote the draft for this blogpost, I was at a crossroads. I had been living in youth hostels and extended stay hotels with my youngest daughter while we explored living in California. I didn’t know if we would stay there or if we would return to Maryland and the community I had known for 28 years. This experience is an example of living in the void, between worlds, where one thing was ending and the new beginning was around the corner. I just couldn’t see it yet.

In the next two months, I would write 70 articles on grief transformation. Two months after that I would be hosting 44 blogtalk radio shows about Grief Transformation. And in January 2011, I would hear the words Heal My Voice and submit the paperwork to start an organization.

This is a picture of what it looks like when you are in the middle of the bridge from the past to the future.

*****

Burbank, California

July 2010

It has been awhile since I have written a blogpost about the journey I have been on since January. The main reason for not writing is I haven’t had the words to describe what has been happening. I have been going deeper into myself and exploring and discovering a new depth of who I am. I have been describing my life with the words silent retreat, inner journey, climbing a mountain and walking on the beach. Asking questions and listening.

Screen Shot 2015-10-07 at 7.36.33 AMI check in on Facebook. I talk to a few people at the coffee shop. There is an occasional phone call. But, most of my time is spent in silence. Listening, observing the feedback from the Universe, taking action and feeling the feelings.

For the past few weeks, I have had moments every day of feeling like a failure. I have had several moments of feeling like I am a f**k-up. I have doubted, feared, questioned and told myself I live in a la-la fantasy world where I should just get with the program. Not sure what the program is exactly but it feels like “get back in the box and do what everyone else is doing.” Not sure what that is either. It feels constrictive because I am looking for the path of someone else and not my own.

Instead of running from the feelings, I have played with them every day. I have felt them, rolled them around in my heart, looked at them and learned from them.

This latest wave of fears and doubts started with a situation with my cats. The couple who have been watching them in Santa Barbara, CA. can no longer take care of them. Their oldest cat is beginning to feel the stress of living with 7 cats in a small house. It has become Urgent for us to find another home for them.

Staying with my theme of Open to Inspiration, I thought that maybe it was time to find an apartment and make a commitment to a specific location. In January, I thought Hannah and I would live in temporary situations for a year. Part of being open to the inspiration and releasing the attachment of timing. I opened to the idea of settling down and planting roots in southern California. With an apartment of our own, the cats could come and live with us.

I started every day by asking the question, “What is the next step in finding a place to live?” I listened and took a step towards the inspiration. Every day I experienced a “failure”. The apartments were too expensive. I don’t have a job with an income and probably couldn’t qualify. I don’t want to commit to a year lease without having a job or solid income. I don’t have enough money in the bank to pay for a year of apartment expenses. The apartment with the lower price was filled already. Every inspired step led me to a closed door.

The next step was to look for sublets that would allow cats. Nothing in the area.

Every day, I took the inspired action step. I felt the place of discomfort within myself. Every day I took an hour walk, felt the feelings and began to shift the energy. I imagined myself feeling a connection to the Earth as I walked. I imagined the critical thoughts passing through me letting all of the critical thoughts pass through me and into dear Mother Earth. At some point, during the walk, I would release the fear, anxiety, doubts. Call it a connection to nature, Spirit, God or a deeper place inside of you. Whatever your belief is fine.

One day, as I was walking and beginning to feel a relief from the fear, a moment of feeling at peace with myself and with life, a thought popped into my head.

I remembered a moment with my son, Cooper. He was born with a congenital heart defect. At two weeks old, he had just received his first open heart surgery. The doctors came into the private room where they would give us an update on the surgery. The doctor said that they had done all that they could, Cooper was weak and would probably not survive the night. After a few minutes, I decided to go and sit with our son. I had made a decision. I sat next to him in PICU. With tears streaming down my face, I began to speak. “Cooper, I love you. You are at a crossroads in your life. I will be here with you, no matter what you choose. If you decide to fight for your life and heal, I will be with you every step of the way. And if you decide that you have to leave now and die, I will stay with you and love you. No matter what you decide, I love you.” Within a few minutes, his vital signs improved. He had chosen to live.

And I was always with him. For 19 months, I took him to doctor appts, sat with him at the hospital until the last hospital stay when it was time for him to leave. Soul mission complete.

In recalling this loss, I am reminded how I discovered strengths inside of me that I didn’t know I had, in the pain of loving and losing my child. Courage, compassion, unconditional love, and my warrior spirit.

Somehow in the depth of feeling like a failure right now, letting myself go into the depths of the emotion, clearing it to see the truth of who I am, I discovered something about myself that I really never understood until now. I see that the way I have lived my life, pushing out of the box, being willing to take a risk, walking on the path when I can only see a foot in front of me, embracing it all, has been the only way I can live.

This is authentically ME!

What I know about myself is that I am showing up. I am living in flow. I don’t know what is going to happen in the next hour, day, week, month, year.  I do know that I am courageous, willing, resourceful, loved, and inspired. I will not give up.

I know there is something on the other side of this. Today I am courageous. Today I reignite my curiosity and childlike sense of wonder knowing that anything is possible.

Today I remember who I am.

 

*****

 

IMG_0985Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Say YES!: Human Connection

Day 2 of 100 Days of Blogging

October 2, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-01 at 5.13.16 PMUniversity Park, Maryland

It was one of those days. Weather had turned from 85 degrees Fahrenheit to 65 degrees Fahrenheit overnight. Pouring rain and I had to go out to run a few errands. The slow leak in the front tire of my car was now almost flat. I had dropped my iPhone the day before and the face cracked with exposed wires. The insurance company denied my claim and on top of that I heard a hurricane was on the way. All of this on the day before I was going to an On Purpose Woman Conference in Columbia, Maryland and then on to New York City for a week.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and imagined all of my power coming back to me. I am not a victim. I grabbed the keys and ran through the rain to the car.

First stop: The Tire Place in Hyattsville, Maryland. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, a man came out to greet me, showed me where to park the car and started to take care of the tire. Fifteen minutes later, the tire was plugged and the cost was only $10. Awesome! I am supported by the Universe! YES!

Second stop: Back to the house and walked my friends’ dogs while there was a break in the rain. Be of service. Do something for someone else. Slow down. Work through this day one step at a time. Doggies were so happy. Life is good! YES!

Third stop: The Verizon Store to buy a phone. It is a business tool and I have to take care of this. Sitting in the parking lot, I decided to call the insurance company one more time. Asking one more person why my claim was denied. (What is the purpose of insurance if it won’t pay for an accident with the phone?) It seems there was a record of me filing for a replacement phone in July which was not true. Thirty minutes later, the error was corrected, the fee was paid ($149 vs $600) and the phone will be delivered to me in New York. Thank you God! Back in business. YES!

Screen Shot 2015-10-01 at 5.13.34 PMLast stop: YES! Market. Healthy food and produce. I decide to buy fresh ingredients and cook dinner for my housemate tonight. Slowing down in the check-out line. Noticing. Breathing.

And then the biggest gift of the day arrived. A moment of tender humanity.

I noticed an African American couple running into the store when I first pulled up. Now, I was in the store and I heard sounds that could have been laughter or crying. The woman had her arms wrapped around the man’s shoulders. It felt sweet and tender. As I got closer, I noticed she had tears running down her face. Weaving through the aisles of the store, I passed them several more times. Silent tears on her face. At the check-out, they were right in front of me. Her tears and crying began to build until she ran out of the store, leaving the man at the check-out line. As soon as she left, his stoic face relaxed, his shoulders drooped and his tears began to fall. He placed the food on the check-out line: chicken, mushrooms, broccoli, milk and a six pack of bottled beer. The ingredients for a simple meal. Noticing him brushing away the tears, trying to stop the tears, and putting his hand over his face from time to time, I could feel his grieving heart. Surrounding him energetically with love, I held a space for him to feel what he was feeling without imposing my questions or condolences into his experience. I just witnessed and allowed a private moment in a public space. Screen Shot 2015-10-02 at 7.52.01 AM

When his turn at the check-out finally came, the young East Indian clerk at the check-out gave him his change and said, “I don’t know what is happening to you right now and May God Bless You.” The man nodded and walked out of the store. I looked at the clerk, held eye contact and nodded my head in agreement. This interchange between two men on a rainy day was so filled with sunshine. Heart connections. Beauty

One by one things came together in my day and the best part was feeling this authentic moment and witnessing heart felt caring from one stranger to another.

This is the world I live in.

Real. Connections. Love.

 

*****

11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

100 days of blogging: Oct 1, 2015 – Jan 8, 2016

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 8.44.03 PMDay 1 of 100 days of blogging

(October 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016)

There is something really powerful about committing to a time period of writing. Daily writing activates something in our brains that helps us to access deeper emotions, thoughts, truths and feelings. Writing helps us wake up to new layers of expression and understanding. Writing primes the pump, encourages growth and action and stimulates new ideas.

Writing can be in the form of typing on a computer, writing with fancy pens and journals or jotting notes on scraps of paper. Writing helps us to focus and digest; to bring our words into form.

We write to be witnessed. Write to share our process. Write to inspire. And the most important: Always, always, always, begin by writing for the discovery of YOU!

*****

Last month, I felt an impulse, an inspiration to commit to an immersion in writing. Although I have been a journal writer since I was a teenager, I noticed a pattern that has emerged since I began to write publicly eight years ago. There is something potent about this time period: Oct 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016. I have primed the pump many times in the fall/winter. And out of the commitment has emerged new birth.

cropped-816.jpgIn 2007, the idea for the book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life was birthed during this time period and my writing voice was shared publicly for the first time.

In 2009, I sold my house and prepared to move to California which birthed a year of writing and deeper connection to hear my own voice.

In 2010, I developed and hosted 44 Blogtalk radio shows on Grief Transformation which birthed the organization Heal My Voice.

In 2013, I signed up for a course on Sexuality and I became a grandmother which birthed a fuller, richer experience of desire and connection to my soul.

As I look at all of the ideas that are bubbling to the surface for writing, I am excited and nervous. It takes a level of focus and commitment and a willingness to feel everything. Fear and excitement are interchangeable. What will I discover about myself in this exploration? What will I discover about you? Wisdom, Blessings, Transformation. Next steps…

I encourage you to write and explore with me. Share your comments and links to your blogs. And who knows what we will see on the other side. I know whatever it is will be rich!

To the adventure!

 

*****

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

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