OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #22-25
Day 59 of 100 days of Blogging
This is the 5th Blogpost in a series.
Tips #1-#5 are here
Tips #6-#10 are here
Tips #11-#15 are here
Tips #16-#21 are here.
I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.
In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.
OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.
A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.
Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.
Tips for New OMers #22: If you have scent allergies … safeport your stroker. Experienced strokers know to dial back or eliminate artificial perfumes / aftershave. They can overwhelm a woman or distract her. And more significantly (for some strokers) they block the stroker’s ability to pick up subtle shifts in a woman’s scent. The nose knows when a pussy secretes.
Tips for New OMers #23: Every fluid and scent combo imaginable will be discharged unexpectedly during an OM of yours if you OM long enough. It’s all you. Be proud. It’s part of your orgasm. Safeport if you feel compelled to … but no apologies during the OM. You don’t have to “behave yourself” during your OM. Let ‘er rip.
Notes from Andrea: All I have to say is Yes. Communicate when you have scent allergies and anything else.
Tips for New OMers #24: Newbie women often have unconscious “display-of-orgasm” markers that they have adopted along the way, prior to OM. Moaning, “oh-god’s,” pelvic thrusts / movements … may all arise during a newbie’s early OMs. That’s ok. Eventually you will learn to relax your hips … and ask your stroker to adjust their stroke – instead of moving your hips to do it for them. Ditto with the vocalizations … they are unnecessary and have often been adopted as a [primitive] way of signaling a lover that they are “doing good.” Your stroker doesn’t need those … so, relax. A stroker learns to sense minute shifts in their partner’s (that would be you) physiology … swelling of pussy tissue, micro contractions, changes in temperature. Sounds … designed to spur a partner on … are overkill … and a distraction.
Notes from Andrea:
In the beginning, I moaned and vocalized for him. I still notice it once in awhile. Old conditioning and ego stroking. The transition from vocalizing for him and vocalizing for me was when I noticed I had a feeling or emotion and I wanted to express it through my voice just for me. Crying. Softly and Loudly. Yelling Fuck YOU into the room after feeling a wave of anger. Asking for adjustments. OM is a practice and using our voice is a part of that practice. I let my voice make sounds whenever I want to now and even deep breathing or panting, when it feels natural to do it for myself. I am also silent during some OMs. I feel the sensations and the process more is more internal. A stroker who is focused on my body will feel the body response. My voice is not necessary.
One more layer. When I climaxed in an OM in October, I had to ask my partner if I made any noise because I had no awareness of it. I was so tuned into the sensation in my body that I felt like we were all alone instead of in a room with 6 nests. I couldn’t hear anyone. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was in a total experience of involuntary and sensation. I am curious about this next layer. To be so connected to the sensation…
Tips for New Female OMers #25: Every woman’s pussy is perfect. And they are all different. If you have a pussy that strokers find challenging (first … remember your pussy is perfect) … learn with them. “My clit likes to play hide and seek in the beginning…” “My hood needs to be pulled back more then most …” etc. Bring approval to your magnificent pussy then help your stroker meet your needs. **As long as you safeport your partner … it is fine to have a pussy orientation session (introitus, clit, hood, …), pre-OM – under your explicit guidance. Let your partner know exactly how you want it to go. No wandering fingers. Change gloves at the end of the exploration session.**
Notes from Andrea: I had OMed a couple of hundred times before I had a session with Ken Blackman in the OM House in Venice, CA. He OMed with all four of the women who lived there. Then he taught the strokers a “resonant” stroke for the house. We were the center of the community and regular OMing was important for the limbic system. Connection and release. As he coached the strokers with each strokee, this was the first time I ever heard someone say my clit liked to hide. All of the strokers nodded. They all knew it but had never said that in the noticing step of the OM. I have learned so much about my pussy from strokers who use the noticing step and have described my pussy to me.
For those of you who don’t know Ken, he was Nicole Daedone’s stroker and lived in the warehouse, a place where OM was researched. When I met him, Ken was called a Master Stroker and he is an amazing stroker “musician” with 10,000+ hours of expertise. He has fine tuned the art of stroking.
What is your experience with a woman’s pussy? Strokees and Strokers
One more posting of tips…next week #26-#32!
Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.
She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.