OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #6-#10
Day 38 of 100 days of Blogging
This is the 2nd Blogpost in a series. The first 5 tips are here
I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.
In a series of blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.
OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.
A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.
Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.
Tips for New OMers #6
“It is a privilege to stroke a woman. You owe no man / person access to your clit.” (Alutha J.)
Notes from Andrea: I have had so many wires to uncross around this. Unraveling old, deep, deep conditioning. When I first started OMing, I felt like the men were Gods and a rare breed I had just discovered. A man who would focus his attention on me and stroke my clit and not asking for anything in return. I felt beholden to him and that I had better be “nice” or he wouldn’t want to OM with me. I would write long appreciations on the OM Hub. Then I had a variety of experiences that changed my thinking to an equal partnership. I began to OM with men who really saw this as a practice and who were receiving nourishment, fulfillment and pleasure.
*My regular Saturday morning partner showed me how he had this longing to connect to women and give his attention. I witnessed how it turned him on in every area of his life. Work, Play, Love Relationships, Friendships. It was gorgeous to watch him open. He was my #28 OM for those of you who read my story in Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire.
*I had an OM with my intimacy research partner after OMing for a year that broke through another level of vulnerability, intimacy, connection. I felt cracked open and I could see his face and eyes got softer. When I shared the experience in a class led by Nicole Daedone, she used me as an example of how a women talks about a man like he is a King when he gives her 15 minutes of the kind of attention she gives him all the time. Whoa! That woke me up. I saw how the commerce exchange was emotional. You stroke my pussy and I stroke your ego. I became more conscious of that and focused on my own experience while trusting that the stroker would focus on his.
*At OMX in 2013, two of the men I OMed with sobbed through the entire OM. One man (in his 60s) lost his wife 8 months earlier. I raised my hand for a coach to sit with us. It was the strokers first OM and the coach helped him stay connected to me and let out the grief through sobbing. The second man was in his early 20’s, a college student. The OM touched something deep in him and he told me later he released shame and unworthiness and fear of being “man enough” during the OM by letting out the tears and the grief.
*Now, after almost 3 years of OMing, I have more access to my essence and that affects everyone around me. The stroker, the community, my family and children. We need each other! I appreciate the practice and I appreciate the men and women who have the courage to connect.
Notes from Andrea: Yes! Saturday nights before TurnOn in Washington, DC. OM Circle for trained OMers. Get trained. Join the Meet-up. Connect with partners. A great way to OM with someone for the first time and to meet new OMers. And Community OM Days! I am currently living in DC and there are other communities around the world.
Tips for New Female OMers #8: “Creepy Old Man” energy is a thing. The men your body flags as “red” … you aren’t responsible for. If they need re-training / support, let them get it from OneTaste. (Alutha J.)
Notes from Andrea: Trust your body and also use it for your growth. Trust your feelings first. We enter the room as adults. We use the green, yellow, red system. Green means go. Yellow means some discomfort and I want to push an edge. Red means I am in Fight or Flight or Frozen. Too much! STOP!
Do not OM with someone who puts you into RED.
On the other hand, if you are OMing with multiple partners and in YELLOW, you may be misinterpreting what they are saying or they may be helping you to unravel something. An old conditioning, a deeper desire. (Like the guy in the photo, it says Comb Over, not Come Over). In this situation, trust your gut to say Yes or No. Is there a preference that is limiting you in your life? Are you curious to learn something new? If you are in YELLOW, OM in circle and not privately.
One time I OMed with someone who put me into YELLOW and I pushed the edge and decided to OM with him in circle. There was so much sensation and power that was opened in me. I began to notice that I had more access to my power and I connected it to that OM. The good girl has a bigger voice now!
Tips for New OMers #10: I *strongly* recommend *not* dating a stroker … until you have at least 100 OMs under your belt … 250 is even better. This is about establishing a strong practice. 90% of women newbies who dated a regular stroker early in their practice (under 50 OMs) … reported it screwed up their practice … and took them up to 6 months to get back to where they were before. (The OMs don’t all have to be with the same stroker.) (Alutha J.)
Notes from Andrea:
In OM we are uncrossing wires, unraveling old social conditioning. OMing brings sensations that we connect with other things. Being turned on in old conditioning means I must be in love, I have to have sex with him/her, I owe the stroker something else (emotional stroking, home baked cookies, sex, a happy face)
We are not used to holding high sensation without taking action. Stay in the sensation of being turned on and wait on the “I want to have sex with him or her.” Let it build. See if you can point that energy to something else without needing to release it. Build a practice and the energy builds so that when you do have sex with someone in the future, the electricity in your body is unbelievable. Don’t rush it.
I OMed for 8 months before I had sex again. And I had OMed around 400 times. I had been in two long term monogamous relationships in marriage. I trusted that the unraveling was happening and my body would open even more.
It was worth the wait. The power and electricity continues to build with the practice and sex gets better and better. (And I thought it was great before OMing! I didn’t know how much more sensation could build in my body)
Tips #11-#15 Blogpost on November 14
Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.
She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.