OM Report: Tips for New OMers (Orgasmic Meditation) #1-#5
Day 34 of 100 days of Blogging
I have been working with a group of coaches in the Washington, DC area to teach Orgasmic Meditation classes, lead TurnOns and start a Women’s Circle to talk about OMing, sexuality and relationships. While researching some information, I found a Facebook page called the OM report where a male practitioner shared some tips for women who were beginning to OM. Lots of great reminders for the men, too.
In the next few blogs, I have broken down the tips with some personal comments from my experiences with OMing for 3 years.
OM is short for Orgasmic Meditation. It is a fifteen minute partnered practice that involves stroking the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. OM is a practice between two people that has no goal except to feel what is happening in the moment. Connection. Sensation. Simplicity. Attention.
A frame is a moment in time during your OM, when you felt a physical sensation in your body. This includes temperature, texture, motion, pressure, color, and speed. Sharing a frame is a way to anchor the experience of the OM and the connection. One moment. Focusing on what is present vs what is not.
Some of the tips are for all OMers, some are for women, some are for monogamous OMing, some are for multiple partner OMer. As the saying goes, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
I have OMed monogamously and with multiple partners. My additional comments refer to both experiences.
“Build a stable of strokers you trust.”
Notes from Andrea: First, I want to say I don’t really like the words “stable of strokers”. It is a trigger for me. I think the male practitioner was using stable to emphasize stability. So, I left it in the original form. Instead of stroker, I have always used OM partner. We are here in partnership. I encourage everyone to use the words that are meaningful for you. I work with the subtle energy of words.
When I first stated OMing, I had a regular Saturday partner for about 4 months. It was rich learning for both of us. We had a regular practice and once we felt solid in the basics, we expanded our connection with some research. (By that time we had other OM trained partners and had OMed over 100 times each) We did things like saying frames throughout the OM; Fifteen minutes of stillness with his finger lightly resting on my clit; A guided OM (he found a recording somewhere) And he was my OM partner for my 28th OM which I wrote about in a book and a blogpost. It is awesome to have a consistent OM partner.
I also lived in a house with a daily OM practice and a few men were there for morning practice regularly. About 8 men who I OMed with all the time. Before I lived in the house, there were 6 OMers who organized a weekly OM circle in someone’s apt. We OMed 3 times. Switching partners. Sometimes we paused after the 2nd OM for a bathroom break, stretching and a short sharing of frames. I learned a lot during that period and the consistency in a community practice. We all lived in the same area and it was convenient to organize and OM.
If you are OMing with one partner, there is a power in OMing on a consistent basis. Try OMing every day for 30 days whether you want to or not. Keep the commitment on the good days and on the bad. Notice what happens when you feel disconnected and you still OM. Notice when you are so hot for each other and you keep the container and OM.
“Protect your privacy. Be meticulous with your name, photos, videos, posts, location, and personal details. Unless you are “out” publicly … offering OM services (coaching or classes) for money, consider using an alias in online OMing groups. The Internet is forever. “
Notes from Andrea: I would also add that even if you feel comfortable sharing this with people, take it slow in posting personal details. There is a lot of sensation and excitement and woo hoo! energy when you first start OMing. Your body system is more open and sensitive. You have no idea the true power of this practice. So, enjoy it. Keep it private for awhile. Share slowly and consciously. And OM!
“Know the OM container. Make sure your strokers are on the same page – before the OM starts.
A PDF from OneTaste about Container and Form
Notes from Andrea: There is a power in the container. It helps a woman’s vigilant center relax. It provides structure and timing for the man. It builds trust. It removes the element of commerce. The container also means you can travel anywhere in the world and find trained OM partners who are doing this practice and you both know what the procedure and protocol is for the practice.
When I was living in California, I posted on the OM Hub that I was looking for OM partners in NYC during a certain time period. A man contacted me and we set up a time after I asked some female OMers if they knew him. I checked to make sure he was a good stroker who followed the OM container. I arrived in NYC. Took the subway to his apartment. He had the nest set up. Offered me the bathroom and water. We OMed twice. I put my pants back on. We arranged another time that week and I left. Clean. Clear. Easy. OM Container held.
If you are in a monogamous OMing relationship, keep the container sacred. If you are going to break it by making out or doing other things, then just have sex. It isn’t an OM and you will not reap the benefits of the practice. It’s okay. Just have sex. 🙂
I am attaching a link in the comments section to an article written by Keith Paolino from OneTaste Austin about breaking the container and how he learned about the importance of it.
Some of his words: “I am deeply committed to the container of the OM, and not just because of my responsibility to my strokee and the dance of Orgasm. I understand that when I hold it, I practice holding the sensation that I’ve built in the OM. That the desire to pull for climax, or trying to get her to make out afterwards is just me trying to dump all of that sensation. When I hold the container solidly, I get to stretch it, pouring a little more sensation in, marveling at how much it can hold without breaking. I get to see how much I can hold, how much electricity I can harness and channel into my desire, my purpose, my life. I remember that an unexpected byproduct of this practice for strokers is cultivating integrity. When I do what I say I will do (follow the steps, stop when time is up), I become a someone trustworthy, dependable, solid. The chaos of the feminine relies of the solid foundation of the masculine to follow Desire.”
The 15 minute container article: http://onetaste.us/the-15-minute-container/
“OM is a community-based practice. Network with other women. Find out who the good strokers are. And the ones women won’t OM with … and why. It is worth developing newbie strokers. However if they exhibit “bad OM manners” … let OneTaste re-train them. You don’t owe [rude] men squat.”
Notes from Andrea: A good stroker gets training, sees OM as a practice, listens and responds to adjustments during the OM, offers adjustments and listens to their partner, holds the OM container, has boundaries, has respect for the strokee, . I have never heard a women “rate” strokers on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10 as far as technique or sexiness, or knowing how to “get them off.” That is not the intention when we say who is a good stroker. This is a practice and we want strokers who hold the space and follow the protocol.
A bad stroker tries to kiss the strokee during the OM (yes, it happened!), uses words like, “Oh, baby, you are so hot”, violates the container, treats the OM as commerce for sex, doesn’t have a nest and supplies when I arrive to OM, regularly breaks OM appts, does not listen to my adjustments during the OM and has his own agenda.
I would love to hear from other OMers to see what your experiences have been with good strokers and bad strokers and OMing in community.
‘Experience’ is no longer a safe measure. Reports of “experienced” strokers ‘hustling’ women and poaching on containers have increased. Ask questions. Listen to your body. Lechers tend to broadcast themselves. Back in the old days … a group of women would have called them out … publicly. They would either get additional training … or know that no woman in the community would OM with them.”
Notes from Andrea: Again, this is the power of community. Keep your eyes open and stay connected to your intuition and hunches. Accountability comes from all of us telling the truth and calling people out on their lack of integrity. It is one of the powers of OM Circles, community potlucks, OM practice club, additional training, Women Circles and Men Circles. Stay connected to the community and share experiences with each other.
AND LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!
Next Week: Tips #6-#10
Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.
She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.