Journal Entry Sun, March 7, 2010
Day 55: On the Road
Silver Lake, CA
Following my Inner Guidance
I want to trust my inner guidance all the time. I want to go sleep with a question and wake up with a clear answer. I want to take a long walk and have the answer by the time I return.
Sometimes when I receive guidance it feels like Pow! Wow! and a huge AHA! when an idea bursts forward and an answer appears. Other times there is a little voice or feeling that tells me to call someone or go to some place or do something and I know that the guidance is there, if I choose it. It can also feel like nothing is happening and like the inner guidance has disappeared or is defective.
I was walking to the Santa Monica Pier one morning last week. I pressed the pedestrian button to cross Ocean Avenue. A voice from the street light speaker spoke to me. Wait … Wait … Wait… Cross Ocean Avenue, Cross Ocean Avenue and then the countdown, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14…5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
As I walked on the beach, asking questions and listening for answers, I thought, why can’t my intuition speak to me with that clarity, that rhythm? Wait, cross, and the countdown that lets me know, if I don’t move into it soon, the window of opportunity will close.
The truth is that my inner guidance always works. I believe that with my whole heart. Sometimes the answers take longer even when I want it now. With the delay, I doubt my inner guidance and I begin to look outside of myself for the answers.
Looking for the answer to a specific question can be a distraction from the deeper question. I can feel the squirminess inside of me that wants the answer and I want to it now. It feels like it can actually block the question that will help me find answers.
There is more to learn and I am willing and eager student. I am learning to ask deeper questions. I am learning how to follow my inner guidance as a tool of leadership. I am learning how to live in this space of uncertainty.
Here are some of the general questions that have helped me get to a deeper place.
What is my next step?
What do I need to know about today?
How can I serve?
Then, wait and listen. The answer can come in the form of a book, a TV show, an inspired conversation, a billboard or a phone call.
I am imagining that in one or two months, life will be busy with opportunities and writing deadlines and travel and a flow of money.
I ask myself:
What do I want to do now during this time of waiting?
How can I use this time of uncertainty to develop skills and stay open to new answers?
One step at a time…I am listening.