Living in Flow Archives

Category Archives: Living in Flow

A Phase Transition: Following the Clues

Posted on January 5, 2016 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 97 of 100 days of Blogging

I spent a year living with Heal My Voice authors, Board members and community members. It was a year filled with adventures and new ideas and time for integration.

Then, three things happened right before I was scheduled to move back to Los Angeles.

1. I had the desire to go to the Maryland Film Festival in Baltimore and attended nine films with my friends Karen Porter and Dotti Drumm. The Festival was two weeks after the Baltimore protests.

2. The Baltimore Protests began on April 18. In an organized protest on April 25, the protest ended in rioting in the streets. The mayor stated: “It’s a very delicate balancing act. Because while we try to make sure that they were protected from the cars and other things that were going on, we also gave those who wished to destroy space to do that as well. And we worked very hard to keep that balance and to put ourselves in the best position to de-escalate.”

3. The Parkway Theater in Baltimore is reopening and with it comes a declaration of creating an International Film Center in Baltimore.

Something began to stir in me that felt like I needed to move back to Baltimore which had been my home for 28 years before I moved to Los Angeles 5 years ago. I didn’t know why. It was a feeling. My passions: Writing. Film. Creativity. Community. Connection. Healing may have been a clue.

I flew back to Los Angeles for my daughter’s graduation from Santa Monica College and while walking on the beach in Venice, the idea of moving back to the East Coast felt even stronger. So, I followed this “intuitive” hit to leave things in my small storage unit, fly back to Baltimore and live with my friend, Kate. All of my friends wanted to know what I was doing and why so I told everyone I was going to make Baltimore my home base for three years and told them I was giving myself six weeks to “land.” I would have more answers by then. For now, I was BEING in Baltimore.

I set an intention to be a detective in my life. To carry a notebook and to begin to notice what was crossing my path. I wrote down 10 things every day that were interesting to me; Anything with a spark of energy and recorded them in the notebook.

The first clues:

Red Emma’s Coffee shop. Words: cooperative. social activism. shared economy. Social Responsibility. Baltimore Free School

Maryland Film Festival: community. innovation. visibility for the 200 Heal My Voice women’s stories.

Guided to reading and write more. Reviewing email. Noticing everything that was crossing my path.

Bookstores in Baltimore.

Living in community.

And then suddenly the feeling of needing to live in Baltimore ended. I questioned the strong intuitive hit. It felt like everything was shifting and changing and falling apart. Baltimore was not going to be my landing pad. I was confused and shocked. Thank God, I have experienced this in other situations. A strong feeling of guidance compels me to take action and make a move towards something, away from something and then there is a pause and a course correction.

I heard Nicole Daedone use the phrase: grappling hook. When things end, we need something to reach for, something that will get us to the other side. Something that will move us away from something and towards something else. Something to hang on to while you walk from one side of the bridge to the other.

Sometimes the Universe sets it up for you and sometimes you have to take conscious steps. For example, if you know your last child is leaving the nest and moving away or a relationship has ended and you know your partner is moving out, set up some things to support you. Take a new class that is fun! Set up a few movie and coffee dates with friends. It will give you some purpose, fill some time and begin to carve the new path with social activities.

Also leave empty space in your schedule to listen to your intuition and room for following guidance. Pause and wait. Do not fill all of your time. Integration and space is important, too.

The grappling hooks that were set in place for me were pet sitting jobs I had arranged in Maryland while still living in California. The jobs gave me a temporary place to live, make money and begin a period of recovery. In every household, I had animals that needed care and that kept me focused on a few tasks every day. I had time to rest and think and read and write. All things that fed my soul.

After finally landing in the Washington, DC area where I have been living for four months now, I can see some of the journey from the past. I did need to come back to Baltimore and to live with an old friend so I could complete a cycle. I had time to appreciate all of the love and experiences in a community I had known for 30 years. I could feel how the day to day activities were an indication of changes and knowing it was time to move on. There was enough discomfort that I moved quickly so as to preserve the friendships for the future. The discomfort felt like I was wearing clothing that I had outgrown and I needed to find a new place to live where I could shed my skin, try on some “new clothes,” and fly. I was in a state of active surrender. Waiting and resting. Making adjustments when the next action step was clear.

Recently, I was walking in my new neighborhood and I looked up to realize the main street outside of the complex is Baltimore Avenue (not Baltimore City)

As more ideas and a new direction is revealed this year, I have to chuckle at how we all receive intuitive guidance and the importance of surrender. I was compelled to move back to Baltimore and that has morphed into a location off of Baltimore Avenue near Washington, DC.

Messages and signs and clues need to be interpreted and allowed to evolve into new pictures. I feel like God was having a good cosmic chuckle about how I could only see what I knew from the past. Waking up, I see there is something on the horizon and I can laugh with God. Very clever. Good one, God.

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in Living in Flow

Living in Flow: Expectations and Change

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 75 of 100 days of Blogging

I intuitively felt that December was the month to come to New York for ten days. Spending time with my granddaughter and daughter and son-in-law, speaking at a Dramatic Adventure Theater Travelogue, spending time with friends socially and professionally and of course, December in New York City. What a great time of year to be here! I think of Rockefeller Center, Holiday decorations, Rockettes, FAO Schwartz toy store, Hot chocolate, ice skating and snow. I think of cold weather. Bundle up in your boots and winter coat.

But this year something is very different. The weather is unseasonably warm. It feels like springtime. And although I am used to the warm weather in Los Angeles and Florida this time of year, it is hard to really feel the anticipation of Christmas which is less than ten days away. It just kind of feels weird.

So, I have been reflecting on expectations and the ability to flow with change. A change in the weather. A change in a location. A change in life. Staying open to the unexpected and noticing what you feel and how you react.

The weather is actually awesome! I have been walking between 5 and 8 miles every day. Spending time in coffee shops that I might never have experienced because it would have been too long a walk in boots, snow and cold. I have expanded the range of exploration and I have been noticing signs all around me. Sitting on benches outside of the coffee shop. Lingering longer. And asking questions…

What does my soul want to experience?

Signs and Clues Appear:

I’m a Masterwork in Progress.

I got this!

Keep Generosity Present.

Bliss

The magic of home.

Find Something Shiny and New

Hmmm…find something shiny and new. I wonder what that might be.

And just like that, I am invited to participate at a Meet-up event as a Greeter, invited into a deeper conversation, I see two people I know at the coffee shop and then I coach a client on Skype.

I feel connected with the new and the old. I feel something new is opening within me and I am willing to sit in the process of waiting. Something is cooking. I feel connected and curious.

I’m not done!

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in Living in Flow

Living in Flow: What Turns You On?

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 49 of 100 days of Blogging

Yesterday, I wrote about “Being Used Well by God.”

To hear the guidance from God, one of the keys for me is being in touch with what turns me on. It is a feeling. Other words and questions for the feeling are: What lights you up? Passion, excitement. What gets your attention? Where do you feel connected? When do you feel alive? When do you feel a sensation in your body that connects you to an idea, a passion and guidance to follow God inspiring you?

Recently, here are things I noticed that Turn ME ON:

Writing

Nature

Dialoguing

Human connection

Animal connection

Inspiration and Passion

Living in Flow

Learning new things

Learning new things about old things.

Feeling Everything

Feeling other people feeling

Community Gatherings

Sharing resources and time

A man’s full attention on my body.

Creativity and artistry in the world

Witnessing another person’s passion

Heart centered. Real Authentic moments.

Vulnerability and the connection to Power

How about you? What turns you on?

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

Posted in Living in Flow

Recess: Taking time to Play

Posted on October 31, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 31 of 100 days of Blogging

“We all need a little bit of a recess. It’s a necessity and we’ve been treating it like a luxury.” @TempleCLA‘s Hirsh-Pasek to @NBCNews

I cut this quote out of a Temple University Alumni report and it ended up on my co-creative vision board for the month of October. At the beginning of the new year, I create a series of pages to give me some insight into the 12 months of the year. Randomly reaching into a bag of words and expressions cut out of magazines, I close my eyes and ask for guidance for the month of ____________. I do that for every month to create a year of inspiration. It is one of the ways I Daydream with God.

So, here is this random quote during the month of October which has reflected to me a week of play in New York for my birthday and my granddaughter’s birthday, a weekend in Pennsylvania leading a workshop on Tuning into Deeper Listening with an afternoon at the Grotto and now a week of pet sitting with a sweet doggie named Hattie. The messages all month is to stop and PLAY! Play with laughter, community potluck in New York, walking in beautiful, sacred places, playing music and dancing, sweet conversations over pots of coffee. Pausing to look at the moon, the changing seasons, listen to the birds and PLAY!

I think the little doggie, Hattie, was put on the planet to remind us all to play. Hanging out in the backyard, she brings the ball to me over and over with a commanding bark to throw it. Tearing through piles of leaves falling from the trees all week, she skids to a stop to grab the ball with her teeth while quickly turning to make a beeline back to me. Dropping the ball and barking, AGAIN, AGAIN!

Occasionally the sight of a fallen tree branch or the wind blowing the leaves will halt her ball retrieving as she explores the thing that is right in front of her. Running towards me at a full on gallop with ears flapping and a mouth stretched full of a yellow tennis ball. No agenda other than PLAY!

I have been reflecting on how much value we give productivity and how little we value the power of play in our society. The common question of Doing. What are you DOing tonight, this weekend, for the holidays? What do you DO for work? I notice there is still a part of me that feels like I have to have something tangible to prove my worth on the planet. I don’t have the answer for that right now. Just an awareness and keeping it visible as an exploration.

Spending the week with Hattie has me letting go of figuring anything out and just playing. Throwing the ball. Taking walks. Pausing to watch the leaves falling off the trees. Looking at the moon. Sitting in the backyard with a cup of coffee. Filling up with the simple pleasure of being.

And sometimes jumping up on my lap and showering me with wet, juicy dog kisses is more important than throwing the ball.

Hattie reminding me to play also reminds me to love and be loved. Now, shut up and kiss me!

**********

Posted in Daydreaming with God, Living in Flow

Living in Flow: Clues and Initiation

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Webmaster Leave a comment

Day 29 of 100 days of blogging.

To read the first blog in this series of Living in Flow: Tuning In

On the train to Santa Barbara, I found myself taking a deep, deep breath and releasing a level of tension I didn’t realize I was carrying. I needed a time of recovery after the whirlwind of the year and packing a storage unit and 2 suitcases for the road.

I hung out with my friend Lucky Sweeny, the co-founder of Evolutionary Women, an astrologer and a coach. I spent time meditating, processing, sleeping, getting an updated astrology report on my year and a Pleiadian reading from Lucky.

It was here that I received my first clue of what the year would hold. During the next year, at each location there would be an initiation that would come in the form of an experience, a blessing, or a spotlight on one of my talents and skills and wisdom. A song, words from a person, a memory. The clues would remind me of who I am and point me in the next direction.

The connection to my intuition gave me a sense of knowing what was next. None of this was based on my logical, linear mind. It was a feeling and it required trust. All I needed to do was keep my eyes and ears open and feel it when it arrived.

Initiation:

The definition of Initiation: the act of starting something : the beginning of something; the condition of being initiated into some experience or sphere of activity.

Santa Barbara: Altar Initiation

There was an altar with powerful, spiritual women. I slept on the futon in the living room with the altar pointed towards the top of my head. My crown chakra. The first night, I was sound asleep and I heard a loud clap that sent a sharp, shaking tremor through my body from head to toe. Just one clap and then silence. I fell right back to sleep. In the morning, Lucky told me I had received a blessing called: Shakti Pat from Gurumayi.

Santa Cruz: A younger woman’s words

After spending a week with my friend Tomas, helping him with social media platforms; Eating great food from the Farmer’s Market, OMing every day in morning circle, receiving a full body massage and resting, I packed my bags and headed to one more OM circle.

Initiation: A young woman said, “Next time you are in town, I want to sit at your feet and listen. You are carving a path for the next part of my life. I am learning from you.”

Flew to Baltimore.

Baltimore: A man’s words and gratitude

Initiation: Orgasmic Meditation training and coaching

His words: “You have opened a doorway to connect to a deeper part of myself”

Bus to New York

New York: A younger woman’s words.

Initiation: “I am grateful for your existence in the world. You are an amazing person. We have so much to learn from you”

Plane to Sweden

Sweden: A younger woman’s words

Initiation: “Look around the room. See all the women who are part of this community. Thank you for starting the Heal My Voice projects. Look at the impact you are having around the world.”

Initiation of Mastery and doors opening that were pointing me to the next steps in my life. In New York, San Francisco, Baltimore, Washington, DC. San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and Los Angeles. Clues and desires awakening in me. On puzzle piece at a time.

According to the Genome Flow Project, this is one of the cycles of Flow. The area of struggle. I was traveling, working, listening, asking questions and one piece at a time was appearing. This organization I had started in 2011 called Heal My Voice was impacting women and families and communities and businesses around the world. I was being called into owning my wisdom and experience and encouraged to become more visible in the world. To share what I have learned and to claim areas of Mastery.

When I arrived in Sweden, I was questioning if I would continue with Heal My Voice. Was I complete? And then the passion from the women in Heal My Voice Sweden and the dedication of Marie Ek Lipanovska, founder of Heal My Voice Sweden were all encouraging me to continue. I said yes to continue and to co-lead the next book program with Marie. To create a bridge between our countries. We began in October 2014. When I arrived back in the United States, I discovered that Heal My Voice had received tax exempt status. Time to move forward and look for the next clues.

One question was how my training and experience with Orgasmic Meditation was going to evolve or fizzle. I taught 35 people how to OM during that year. But how to integrate all of these different pieces. All I could do was stay open to the question and to wait.

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Sensual Voices: True Stories by Women Exploring Connection and Desire. was the project and it was published in June 2015.

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen, Living in Flow

Warrior Women: Tuning in for Deeper Listening

Posted on October 27, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 27 of 100 days of blogging

At the Warrior Women Empowerment and Wellness Retreat this past weekend in Pennsylvania, I led a workshop called Tuning into Deeper Listening.

http://warrior-women.net/

Here are a few of the key points from my talk:

*You were born with all of the answers you will ever need inside of you. They are encoded in the cells of your body. Throughout your life, you have experiences that wake up the cells that hold the desire and the information. We live our lives one moment, one hour, one day, one month, one year at a time. When it is time, you will receive the answers and know what to do and be next.

*We gather in groups, read books, listen to speakers, go to conferences and retreats and hire coaches so that we see, hear and feel things that wake up the cells and prepare us for the answers.

*We need the connection with each other to wake up.

*Deeper listening requires a process of emptying out and filling up. An example of how to do that is to take a walk. The first part of the walk you let go of all of the voices, the shoulds, the “to-do’s on your list”. Walk and release. Walk and empty. Let it all go. During the second part of the walk, you fill up. You breathe in the energy from your surroundings; the leaves that are changing on the trees, the sound of birds or in a city, the sounds of the subway, the feel of the wind on your face. Listen, notice, breathe.

*Deeper listening guides you to the people, places and things to create and carve the new pathway.

*Everything is happening at the perfect time. Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life” was published when she was 58 years old and she started Hay House, Inc (also when she was 58 years old.) Every experience leads you on the pathway for each decade. In your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s 90’s, 100’s and beyond…

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A few of the tools I suggested to turn off your brain and access deeper listening:

Tool #1: Coloring books. (Hurrah! They are in style again! So many coloring books to choose from for your pleasure)

This is a perfect activity for a doer, type person. You are “doing” something while turning off your brain. Notice the colors you are drawn to and breathe in the colors.

A few coloring books I love!

1. Coloring Feeds the Soul and Keep Calm and Color

Pati Woodard: https://www.etsy.com/shop/patimakescoolstuff

2. The Big Girls Little Coloring Book

It has 21 Mandalas, each with an Affirmation and medARTation page.

The book is a journey through insights that are about topics like the power of the Mind, the role of Nature for healing and empowerment, how to identify Patterns in out life and many more.

http://www.amazon.com/Big-Girls-Little…/dp/1582706212

3. Coloring My Days by Kristen Webster

http://www.amazon.com/Coloring-My-Days-Kristen-Webster/dp/0996757430/

4. The Mindful Journey: Color~Create~Journal by Zan Packard

http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Journey-Color-Create-Journal/dp/1470077450/

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Tool #2: Oracle Cards or Spirit Cards.

Doreen Virtue has created some of my favorites. Search on-line for a deck that resonates with you.

Randomly pick a card and focus on the photo, the words, the colors. Close your eyes and sit in silence for a few minutes. Let it stir something inside of you. Let go of your thoughts and feel.

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Tool #3: Get a small notebook and write down 5-10 clues and signs that cross your path every day. The things that light you up or bring curiosity and excitement. Some ideas:

1. Books

2. Words

3. A conversation

4. A phone call or Facebook message from an old friend

5. Colors, nature, music

6. A dream

Then, in a few weeks, go back and look at the trends. What topic repeats over and over? What do you feel and notice? Listen for the inspired action.

What helps you to go into deeper listening? Share with us in the comments section.

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Living in Flow

Living in Flow: What is Flow?

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 16 of 100 days of blogging

Taking a pause today to add some definition to the word Flow.

Studies have shown that flow is one stage in a Flow Cycle. Steven Kotler is a researcher and author who has given us some words for what happens in the flow cycle and how to do things to jumpstart and trigger the flow step.

Flow Cycle: (You have to return through all 4 parts of the cycle before returning to flow.)

Struggle: Loading with new information.

Release or Relaxtion: Take your mind off the problem.

Flow: You are in the flow state (In the zone)

Recovery: Go into a low feeling.

The power in the cycle is to learn how to move through struggle and recover better.

There are 17 triggers or preconditions that bring on more flow.

Psychological Triggers:

Intensely Focused Attention

Clear Goals

Immediate Feedback

The Challenge/Skills Ratio

Environmental Triggers:

High Consequences

Rich Environment

Deep Embodiment

Social Triggers:

Serious Concentration

Shared, Clear Goals

Good Communication

Familiarity

Equal Participation and Skill Level

Risk

Sense of Control

Close Listening

Always Say Yes

Creative Trigger

Creativity (Pattern Recognition and Risk Taking

For more information go to the Flow Genome Project

http://www.flowgenomeproject.co/

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Living in Flow

You Decide: Choices Create Your Life

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 10 of 100 days of blogging

Queens, New York

October 10, 2015

Watching Bob’s Burgers with my granddaughter Lucille this morning, I was inspired to write a blog about the episode when it is Linda’s birthday. Linda is the Mom. (Episode is called Eat, Spray Linda. Season 5. Episode 18)

Linda wakes up remembering it is her birthday. She tries to bury her head under the pillow and stay in bed to avoid the day. When the family tells her they are working on a surprise and she has to leave the house, Linda goes out to the grocery store where a series of mishaps occur. Keys locked in car with her cell phone and purse. Pants rip in the butt. No one in the grocery store will help her. Catches a bus going in the wrong direction. Sprayed by a skunk twice. It is a day of total chaos and Linda digs deep and conquers one challenge after another.

At the end of the day, bathing in a tub filled with tomato juice, her husband (Bob) tells her, ” Sorry your birthday was horrible.” She says, “Hey! Don’t be sorry. This was the best birthday ever!” She goes on to tell him that this is a new tradition. “Every year on my birthday, you blindfold me. Drop me off at a location with no cell phone and no money and I have to find my way home.”

I love Linda! She has this way of seeing the sunshine in adversity. Linda made the best of the chaotic situation and ignited a part of her that had been dormant. She came alive!

What if we all embraced adversity and challenges with this exuberance? What could we create in our lives and in the world?

You Decide.

The show reminded me of something I shared in the 30 days of writing program for this month:

It may feel like you have had no choice at different times in your life. You didn’t decide your life circumstances. You had another plan and it looked nothing like this! You may feel as if you lost control of your life. And at the same time you still have choices. You get to decide who you are going to be in this moment. You get to decide how you are going to respond and to be in the moment of what is happening.

On the community call yesterday I talked about my son and the power of the gifts I learned from his birth and his death and his illness. He was my teacher. Twenty-two years later, I continue to reach into that bag of gifts over and over. I may have moments of sadness. That’s okay. When someone you love dies, you will have moments of sadness. Even twenty years later. Reaching into that time period also reminds me of things that were revealed about who I really am.

When we are presented with challenges, we can find the gifts.

I first found out about my son’s heart condition when I was seven months pregnant with him and I was driving to drop off a report for a consulting job. When I got off the cell phone, I started pounding on the steering wheel and crying out in pain. Why God? Why me? Why him? Haven’t I had enough challenges in this lifetime? More than my fair share? Why, why, why?

After a few hours of feeling like this, I made a decision. I am powerless over this situation and I can still take charge of my life. I decided I was here to support my son and I would cross- stitch angels. Every stitch would be a prayer. It would be a blessing to Cooper, to our family and friends, to everyone who we would meet. In the 19 months of his life, I cross stitched elaborate angels with tiny, tiny stitches and big, big prayers.

This is actually how you change and transform. You are presented with a life experience and YOU DECIDE who you are going to be. Then you practice it. Over and over until one day you are transformed. Caterpillar to butterfly.

New Perspectives

Like Linda on Bob’s Burgers and the challenges she had on her birthday or the experiences we all have when we feel powerless or out of control, we have a choice. To embrace the experience and find out new things about ourselves or to shut down and give up.

I encourage you to get a new perspective and challenge yourself. You never know what surprises are laying within you!

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Living in Flow

I’m a Grown Woman: I can do whatever I want

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 8 of 100 days of blogging

New York City

October 8, 2015

Today is my Birthday. #59. I am in my second Saturn Return. It is happening right now and I am in it!

The Saturn Return is a cycle that includes claiming authority, mastery, and knowledge. It is a time of soul searching and reflecting on what I want to do with this next cycle of my life.

At this crossroads, I want bigger conversations. I don’t want to waste time. So, if I am in a situation that no longer feels right, I have to bless it and move on. No regrets. Lots of appreciation for all of the people and experiences in the first 59 years. Now, clearing the decks to make room for the next 30 years. Until I reach the 3rd Saturn Return when I am in my 80’s. Another milestone.

One thing I want to clear up. Not wasting time doesn’t mean I want to be on the go all the time. Some of the most valuable, precious time is being on the planet in stillness and rest. There is action happening in the inaction. This summer I spent a lot of time in stillness. Reading. Binge watching some tv shows and movies and examining relationships and character development. Walking. Resting. Taking inspired small action steps. All of that time I spent “doing nothing” this summer is beginning to show signs of readiness. The next steps are showing up. All of those seeds I have planted in the last 59 years are getting really shiny. I feel filled up and grounded with an understanding of where I am going for the next few months.

I have raised three daughters to adulthood. They are all living their lives in amazing ways. I have a 2 year old granddaughter. I want to keep making a contribution and impacting the world around me. I am sharing my voice and experience. This means I listen and I speak up. I write and I read. Once again I feel like I am just getting started.

It is an exciting time and I am ready!

*****

On my birthday today I am spending the day with me.

Began by taking the train from Queens to Manhattan where I closed my eyes, connected to my heart and sent love to all of the people and set a love energy on the train at 6am!

Stopped at Starbucks for a Happy Birthday Latte to ME!

Received a Message from God in my inbox:

Today, Andrea, we believe God wants you to know that you have so much to offer to the world. There is no limit to the love you can share, to the happiness you can inspire, to the peace you can bring.

Arrived at OneTaste NYC OM Circle for connection with friends and my OM practice.

Stopped at Verizon Wireless to get my new replacement phone turned on and hooked up. (thank you insurance company)

Spent the day walking around New York City, writing at The Bean in the East Village and in a little bit I will return to OneTaste for a second OM circle and a community potluck.

Full, rich exploration of me being me!

*****

In the back drop of my day is this song:

I’m a Grown Woman by Beyonce

Look at me, I’m a big girl now.

Said I’m gonna do something.

…

I’m a grown woman.

I can do whatever I want!

(It already feels like a yummy, delicious year.)

*****

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Andrea Hylen, Living in Flow

Living in Flow: Courage to Listen

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 7 of 100 days of blogging

When I first wrote the draft for this blogpost, I was at a crossroads. I had been living in youth hostels and extended stay hotels with my youngest daughter while we explored living in California. I didn’t know if we would stay there or if we would return to Maryland and the community I had known for 28 years. This experience is an example of living in the void, between worlds, where one thing was ending and the new beginning was around the corner. I just couldn’t see it yet.

In the next two months, I would write 70 articles on grief transformation. Two months after that I would be hosting 44 blogtalk radio shows about Grief Transformation. And in January 2011, I would hear the words Heal My Voice and submit the paperwork to start an organization.

This is a picture of what it looks like when you are in the middle of the bridge from the past to the future.

*****

Burbank, California

July 2010

It has been awhile since I have written a blogpost about the journey I have been on since January. The main reason for not writing is I haven’t had the words to describe what has been happening. I have been going deeper into myself and exploring and discovering a new depth of who I am. I have been describing my life with the words silent retreat, inner journey, climbing a mountain and walking on the beach. Asking questions and listening.

I check in on Facebook. I talk to a few people at the coffee shop. There is an occasional phone call. But, most of my time is spent in silence. Listening, observing the feedback from the Universe, taking action and feeling the feelings.

For the past few weeks, I have had moments every day of feeling like a failure. I have had several moments of feeling like I am a f**k-up. I have doubted, feared, questioned and told myself I live in a la-la fantasy world where I should just get with the program. Not sure what the program is exactly but it feels like “get back in the box and do what everyone else is doing.” Not sure what that is either. It feels constrictive because I am looking for the path of someone else and not my own.

Instead of running from the feelings, I have played with them every day. I have felt them, rolled them around in my heart, looked at them and learned from them.

This latest wave of fears and doubts started with a situation with my cats. The couple who have been watching them in Santa Barbara, CA. can no longer take care of them. Their oldest cat is beginning to feel the stress of living with 7 cats in a small house. It has become Urgent for us to find another home for them.

Staying with my theme of Open to Inspiration, I thought that maybe it was time to find an apartment and make a commitment to a specific location. In January, I thought Hannah and I would live in temporary situations for a year. Part of being open to the inspiration and releasing the attachment of timing. I opened to the idea of settling down and planting roots in southern California. With an apartment of our own, the cats could come and live with us.

I started every day by asking the question, “What is the next step in finding a place to live?” I listened and took a step towards the inspiration. Every day I experienced a “failure”. The apartments were too expensive. I don’t have a job with an income and probably couldn’t qualify. I don’t want to commit to a year lease without having a job or solid income. I don’t have enough money in the bank to pay for a year of apartment expenses. The apartment with the lower price was filled already. Every inspired step led me to a closed door.

The next step was to look for sublets that would allow cats. Nothing in the area.

Every day, I took the inspired action step. I felt the place of discomfort within myself. Every day I took an hour walk, felt the feelings and began to shift the energy. I imagined myself feeling a connection to the Earth as I walked. I imagined the critical thoughts passing through me letting all of the critical thoughts pass through me and into dear Mother Earth. At some point, during the walk, I would release the fear, anxiety, doubts. Call it a connection to nature, Spirit, God or a deeper place inside of you. Whatever your belief is fine.

One day, as I was walking and beginning to feel a relief from the fear, a moment of feeling at peace with myself and with life, a thought popped into my head.

I remembered a moment with my son, Cooper. He was born with a congenital heart defect. At two weeks old, he had just received his first open heart surgery. The doctors came into the private room where they would give us an update on the surgery. The doctor said that they had done all that they could, Cooper was weak and would probably not survive the night. After a few minutes, I decided to go and sit with our son. I had made a decision. I sat next to him in PICU. With tears streaming down my face, I began to speak. “Cooper, I love you. You are at a crossroads in your life. I will be here with you, no matter what you choose. If you decide to fight for your life and heal, I will be with you every step of the way. And if you decide that you have to leave now and die, I will stay with you and love you. No matter what you decide, I love you.” Within a few minutes, his vital signs improved. He had chosen to live.

And I was always with him. For 19 months, I took him to doctor appts, sat with him at the hospital until the last hospital stay when it was time for him to leave. Soul mission complete.

In recalling this loss, I am reminded how I discovered strengths inside of me that I didn’t know I had, in the pain of loving and losing my child. Courage, compassion, unconditional love, and my warrior spirit.

Somehow in the depth of feeling like a failure right now, letting myself go into the depths of the emotion, clearing it to see the truth of who I am, I discovered something about myself that I really never understood until now. I see that the way I have lived my life, pushing out of the box, being willing to take a risk, walking on the path when I can only see a foot in front of me, embracing it all, has been the only way I can live.

This is authentically ME!

What I know about myself is that I am showing up. I am living in flow. I don’t know what is going to happen in the next hour, day, week, month, year. I do know that I am courageous, willing, resourceful, loved, and inspired. I will not give up.

I know there is something on the other side of this. Today I am courageous. Today I reignite my curiosity and childlike sense of wonder knowing that anything is possible.

Today I remember who I am.

*****

Posted in Living in Flow

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